DECEMBER 5 • 2019 | 5
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for starters
Yada, Yada, Yada
L
ong before I became a
contributing writer to the
Jewish News, I was asked
to participate in a JN story that
featured local members of the
Detroit Jewish
community
who resembled
famous person-
alities.
While my
likeness to Paul
Newman was
unmistakable, the
editors thought I more closely
resembled Jason Alexander, aka
George Costanza of Seinfeld.
Go figure. I respectfully agreed
to go along with that premise
and well, yada, yada, yada, I was
featured on the Dec. 22, 1995,
cover of the JN as Jason/George.
Actually, my dear friend, the
late great author Jeffrey Zaslow,
beat the JN to the punch in the
summer of 1994 when he asked
me to enter a Seinfeld contest.
No, not “that” infamous contest
for you Seinfeld aficionados — a
look-alike contest.
For 12 years, Jeff hosted an
annual singles party, the Zazz
Bash, in Chicago, which drew
7,000 of his Chicago Sun Times
readers, resulting in 78 marriag-
es and generous donations to
charity.
Among the entertaining fes-
tivities that year was a Seinfeld
cast look-alike contest. The field
of Jerry, Elaine, George and
Kramer contestants would be
judged by applause by the thou-
sands in attendance at Chicago’
s
Navy Pier.
Believe it or not I came in
second, but only by inches.
Inches? Yep, the winner was
much shorter than me which
turned out to be a “shrinkage”
issue in that guy’
s favor. I was
5 foot-10 inches and Jason is 5
foot-5 inches.
I would have to wait a quar-
ter-century to have another
encounter with my alter ego
George. Jason, who won a
Tony for Best Leading Actor
in a Musical in Jerome Robbin’
s
Broadway in 1989, the same
year Seinfeld debuted, was
bringing his comedic and song
and dance talents to Detroit
to perform with the DSO at
Orchestra Hall. His Nov. 2 show
was a sellout, but thanks to two
extra tickets from my wonder-
ful friends Mark and Jennifer
LoPatin, I would be in the audi-
ence!
Prior to his engagement, I
heard Jason on the radio talking
about how he would bring audi-
ence members on stage to per-
form with him. I immediately
began to strategize how I could
be among those lucky few.
Then, to my absolute shock,
I saw a photo of my friend
Michael Seltzer on Facebook
who had just posted, in real
time, a photo of himself with
Jason Alexander. Wait, what?
Michael was with Jason
in the LAX Delta Sky Club.
Michael on his way to China,
Jason to Detroit. A panicked
phone call to Michael went
to his voicemail. But his wife,
Lori, answered her phone only
to inform me that after a con-
versation suggesting Detroit
restaurants to Jason, he boarded
his flight. He was gone! I believe
my startled response equaled
one of Kramer’
s famous whip-
lash type head jolts of shock. I
was dismayed but not deterred.
I arrived early to Jason’
s Nov.
2 show with a copy of my 1995
JN cover photo along with a
short, handwritten note to him
that an Orchestra Hall manager
said she would hand to him
personally. She even asked for
my seat number so that Jason
could find me during the show.
Things were looking up!
Halfway through his per-
formance, as advertised, Jason
began hand-picking seven
volunteers to perform a shtick
with him. I didn’
t raise my hand
because of course Jason had
my seat assignment. He would
seek me out, right? Right?
Right?
Nope. I could hear the soup
Nazi yelling at me: “No show
for you!”
I hold no animus toward
Jason Alexander. As a leg-
endary song and dance man
myself — twice I’
ve sung the
“Banana Boat” song on Detroit’
s
Opera House stage with Harry
Belafonte — I know how tough
it is to appease adoring fans.
Upon reflection, the incom-
parable Jeffrey Zaslow had
already given me my defining
“George” moment during his
contest. The mentsh that he
was, Jeff also went on to get my
Jewish News cover autographed
by Jason Alexander when
he interviewed him for USA
Today. I wouldn’
t trade those
memories with Jeff for anything
… even a chance to be with the
“real” George.
Alan Muskovitz is a writer,
voice-over/acting talent, speaker
and emcee. Visit his website at
laughwithbigal.com,“Like” Al on
Facebook and reach him at
amuskovitz@renmedia.us.
Alan
Muskovitz
Jason Alexander and Michael Seltzer
LORI SELTZER