6 | OCTOBER 3 • 2019 

L

ike so many of you, I’
m 
a working mom trying 
to juggle it all — my kid, 
my job and, you know, my 
life. For the High Holidays, 
I was inspired to write a 
working parents’
 version of 
the Ashamnu, 
an alphabetic 
acrostic of 
our collective 
transgressions, 
which is part 
of the public 
confession we 
recite during 
Yom Kippur.
This year, 5780, I strive to 
acknowledge my wrongdoings, 
to do better by my little guy and 
my family, and to forgive myself 
and others more.
For the sin of not 
acknowledging mistakes, 
and not asking when we need 
help and not meaningfully 
apologizing as much as we 
should.
For the sin of talking about 
how busy we are.
For the sin of trying to 
control everything, even 
when we know that’
s totally 
impossible and frustrating.
For the sin of being 
distracted and not giving our 
children our full attention.
For the sin of having no 
energy at the end of a long 
workday to truly connect or 
play with our kids.
For the sin of forgiving in 
others what we can’
t find a way 
to forgive in ourselves.
For the sin of giving more 
attention to our professional 
work than to our kids.

For the sin of not doing 
everything we can to help, for 
not using every extra ounce 
of energy, every extra penny, 
every extra waking moment 
to do what we can for children 
separated from their families at 
the border.
For the sin of Instagram: 
spending too much time on it, 
and for only showing all that is 
beautiful and fun instead of the 
hard, everyday truths.
For the sin of judging other 
parents and the decisions they 
make for their kids and families. 
(I’
m still so upset with myself 
for judging that mom who had 
her toddler with her at Target 
at 11 p.m. — more likely she 
had no o 
ther time to run those 

critical errands and no one to 
watch her child.)
For the sin of thinking we 
know best.
For the sin of lamenting the 
easier days before we had kids.
For the sin of making 
excuses.
For the sin of saying “no” so 
often.
For the sin of over-
programming, overscheduling 
and overindulging our children.
For the sin of prescribing our 
children’
s interests by allowing 
capitalism to dictate what toys 
and clothes we purchase for 
them. (Really, why is the doll 
aisle so pink? And why are 
dinosaurs a boy thing?)
For the sin of questioning

the intentions of others instead 
of assuming everyone is doing 
the best they can.
For the sin of resisting 
when sometimes it’
s easier to 
just say yes. (But also: vive la 
resistance!)
For the sin of keeping our 
heads down looking at our 
screens.
For the sin of too much 
television and not enough 
conversation.
For the sin of undermining 
how hard we work when we 
obsess over how we can do 
better.
For the sin of not voting and 
not vaccinating. (#sorrynotsorry 
— I have strong opinions 
that neither of these are OK 
choices.)
For the sin of wanting more 
instead of being content with 
what we have.
For the sin of xenophobia
— something that I abhor in 
others but fear I may practice in 
small and unknowing ways.
For the sin of yelling.
For the sin of thinking about 
parenting in terms of zero days 
(losing) or 100 days (winning) 
— when we know many days 
are just going to be a 40-degree 
day, and that’
s OK.
May the gates of repentance 
be open to us all. G’
mar 
Chatima Tovah!

Shira Zemel is a working mom in 

Washington, D.C., where she directs 

youth leadership development at the 

Religious Action Center of Reform 

Judaism. She and her husband have a 

2-year-old son.

Shira Zemel
Kveller via 
JTA 

ARIEL SKELLEY/GETTY IMAGES

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The Working Parents’ Collective 
Apology On Yom Kippur

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