30 | SEPTEMBER 26 • 2019 

Rosh Hashanah

T

he Jewish High Holidays 
can be challenging for 
interfaith families if 
attending synagogue is not a part 
of their practice, says Lindsey 
Silken, editorial director of 
InterfaithFamily.com, a national, 
nonprofit online and commu-
nity-based initiative that strives 
to engage interfaith couples and 
their children in Jewish life. 
“The High Holidays come 
with many questions because 
they are the most synagogue-
centric holidays on the Jewish 
calendar,” Silken said. 
“We provide a multitude of 
resources on how to prepare for 
the holiday, from choosing what 
kind of services to attend if your 
family has small children to how 
to decide on whether to allow 
kids to attend public school on 
the holidays and learn about the 
traditions outside a synagogue 
setting. Our goal is to help inter-
faith families find their own ways 
to make the High Holidays more 
enriching and inclusive.”
In Metro Detroit, orga-
nizations like The Well and 
NEXTGen Detroit are reaching 
out to interfaith families to pro-
vide services and programming 
wherever they are in their spiritu-
al observance.

“In my experience, local inter-
faith couples/families celebrate 
Jewish holidays the same way as 
everyone else in our community, 
for the most part,” said Jonathan 
Schwartz, co-chair of inter-
faith couples programming for 
NEXTGen Detroit. “We attend 
religious services, get together 
with family, participate in com-
munity events, and enjoy Jewish 
traditions and stories.”
Schwartz said interfaith 
couples and families, 
such as his with his wife, 
Stacy, approach the Jewish 
holidays with “refreshing 
enthusiasm, inquisitiveness 
and creativity” adding 
to the meaning of Rosh 
Hashanah and Yom 
Kippur commemora-
tions. Schwartz said that 
interfaith couples want to 
be a part of Jewish life and 
will be drawn to religious 
leaders and institutions 
that are supportive and 
welcoming. 
“If a rabbi or synagogue 
refuses to marry interfaith 
couples, bans non-Jewish 
spouses/family from partic-
ipating in rituals, or pens 
op-eds bemoaning inter-
faith marriage as some-

thing to be ‘
tolerated’
 at best, 
don’
t expect to see us around 
there during the High Holidays 
or the rest of the year.” 
Mechelle Sieglitz of Pontiac is 
married to Paul Castelli, a pastor 
at St. George’
s Episcopal Church 
in Milford. This is the first year 
their 16-month-old daughter will 
be able to enjoy a taste of apples 
with her honey. 

When Castelli was attending 
seminary in Columbus, Ohio, he 
and Sieglitz would invite friends 
to a meal full of symbolic Jewish 
foods during many Jewish holi-
days, including Rosh Hashanah, 
so she could explain the holiday 
traditions to them. For some, 
it was the first time they had 
an encounter or knowledge of 
Jewish New Year observances. 
They would do the same for 
Passover and Chanukah.
Castelli said the introspective 
contemplative messages of the 
High Holiday liturgy are very 
similar to the themes of Ash 
Wednesday. 
Castelli does not attend ser-
vices on Rosh Hashanah or Yom 
Kippur because he believes this 
is a time meant exclusively for 
Jews “who may need their space” 
in reflective prayer. However, 
he has attended Selichot prayers 
and was specifically struck by the 
messages of God’
s forgiveness 
and compassion after one has 
transgressed, as found in Psalm 
51. 
“I also appreciate the themes 
and messages (of asking for 
forgiveness after running away 
from responsibility and turning 
around one’
s bad habits) found 
in the Book of Jonah,” Castelli 
said. “I know that is read each 
afternoon on Yom Kippur.” 
Rebecca Goldberg Spennachio 
of Bloomfield Hills said her hus-
band, Robert, has taken a liking 
to gefilte fish. So much so that 
he has learned to make it himself 
for the whole family for Rosh 
Hashanah as well as Passover. 
Rebecca said that her mother-in-
law also loves to visit for Rosh 
Hashanah meals because in 
Christianity, there are not many 
traditions that go along with hol-
idays beyond a Christmas tree or 
Easter eggs. 
“Robert enjoys going to 
services at Temple Israel,” 
Spennachio said. “Unlike 
Conservative synagogues, there 
is more English in the service 
and he can better understand the 
prayers.” 

COURTESY OF MECHELLE SIEGLITZ
COURTESY OF THE SPENNACHIOS

Stacy and Jonathan 
Schwartz

JOHN HARDWICK/JEWISHFEDERATION

Paul Castelli, 
Mechelle Sieglitz and 
daughter Aria

Robert Spennachio and 
Rebecca Goldberg Spennachio

Interfaith Families

STACY GITTLEMAN CONTRIBUTING WRITER

Jewish traditions play a meaningful role during the holidays.

