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14 | SEPTEMBER 26 • 2019 

claim to have no religion. 
Fourteen percent of my 
parents’
 generation, born 
between 1928 and 1945, 
falls into this category, along 
with 26 percent of my fellow 
Gen Xers and 32 percent of 
millennial Jews. 
Far from being distressing, 
these numbers make sense to 
me. Young people just don’
t 
define Judaism and religion 
in the same way as earlier 
generations.
To get a more accu-
rate picture of American 
Judaism, we must adjust 
the parameters to match 
today’
s realities. The options 
aren’
t just Orthodox, 
Conservative, Reform or 
“nothing” anymore. 
I couldn’
t tell you what 
denomination of Jew I am. 
My synagogue has a mission 
statement that says: “While 
guided by Orthodox tradi-
tion, our approach is one 
that embraces everyone, 
regardless of their level of 
knowledge or observance.”
I feel like I belong there. 
I have relationships with 
many members of the cler-
gy. My son is a bimah boy, 
working with the gabbai 
every Saturday calling up 
members of the congrega-
tion receiving an honor. He 
attends a private Catholic 
school for financial reasons 
but has embraced Judaism 
with a fervor. 
For years I focused on all 
the things I did wrong as a 
Jew — not keeping kosher, 
not sending my kids to 
Jewish school, not observing 
a whole bunch of the fast-
ing holidays, etc. Yet I still 
identify as Jewish. My family 
doesn’
t meet the definitions 
of Orthodox or Conservative, 

or even Reconstructionist. 
There is no box for us. 
Despite my relatively 
“secular” upbringing, my 
parents and grandparents 
would certainly consider 
themselves Jews of religion, 
at least by Pew’
s count. But 
in many ways, I consider my 
revitalized traditions to be 
what brought me back into 
the fold. 
Despite the dwindling 
extravagance of our holiday 
celebrations, I feel a closer 
connection to Judaism than 
ever. How do I get counted?
There’
s so much fear in 
the Jewish community about 
the dangers of intermar-
riage and assimilation. But 
diversity isn’
t the problem. 
My inclusion of non-Jews 
in traditional celebrations 
gives me the chance to 
revisit their significance. 
Diversity doesn’
t dilute my 
feelings toward religion — it 
strengthens them.
Planning my dinner this 
year, I added a non-Jewish 
friend and her 9-year-old 
daughter to the guest list. 
They came last year and 
added a whole new layer 
to the evening. They loved 
learning about our traditions, 
and we got to see the holiday 
through fresh eyes.
This Rosh Hashanah, 
instead of worrying about 
fitting into a traditional 
mold, I’
m going to focus 
more on defining my own 
Jewish identity and what 
informs it. 

Julie Matlin is a freelance writer 

based in Montreal. Her work 

has appeared in the Washington 

Post, the Globe and Mail, Today’
s 

Parent and the Forward. 

Essay from page 10

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