12 | SEPTEMBER 26 • 2019
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essay
Chilling Out
I made my Judaism
truly meaningful by
relaxing a bit at
Rosh Hashanah.
P
icking through gefilte
fish in the kosher depart-
ment, searching for the
freshest packages, I think of
my Grandma Fanny. She made
her gefilte fish
from scratch, lov-
ingly combining
the cod, white-
fish, pike and
whatever other
secret ingredients
she threw in that
made it so good.
“This is delicious,” my
brother’
s roommate remarked
one year. “I’
ve never even
heard of a gefilte fish before.”
When my grandmother
hosted Rosh Hashanah, it
was an affair. There could be
upward of 25 people around
the table, which would be set
with the finest china and fresh-
est flowers. The food was first
class and the conversation live-
ly. What I don’
t remember was
much religious content.
As my grandparents aged,
my mother took over hosting
duties. The table was still a
decent size, but it wasn’
t the
same lavish affair. Now that
my husband and I have taken
on the responsibilities of host-
ing, the table has become even
smaller, maxing out at 11 if all
my in-laws are in town. I don’
t
have fine china or exquisite sil-
ver flatware. I don’
t have crys-
tal glasses or homemade gefilte
fish. Frankly, I don’
t have the
money to “do Jewish” the way
my grandparents did.
But even though our table
has gotten smaller and my
place settings would have my
grandmother rolling in her
grave, the whole holiday has
become much more meaning-
ful to me. I’
m grateful for the
time spent with my family and
the time spent in reflection at
shul.
While many Jewish com-
munal leaders warn about
how younger generations are
drifting away from traditional
Judaism, I believe they have
missed the mark: Even though
I “do Jewish” much differently
than my grandparents did,
the older I get, the clearer
Judaism’
s contributions to my
life become.
Stripping away the excess of
the High Holidays has made
me see what’
s important, and
going through the ritual and
ceremony of putting the eve-
ning together has brought me
closer to its true significance.
Yes, the meal is a celebration,
but it’
s also a solemn entry into
the 10 days of introspection
and repentance before Yom
Kippur. As I age, my thoughts
are less on what wine I’
ll be
serving and more on how I
need to make things right.
The 2013 Pew Portrait of
Jewish Americans suggests
Jewish identity is changing,
and that 22 percent of Jews
Julie Matlin
JTA
continued on page 12
The Jewish News received
many comments about its
new glossy magazine format
and size. Here is a sampling
of the responses:
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Nobody likes change, but
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Farmington Hills
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derful upgrade. I enjoyed
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West Bloomfield
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times and staying new and
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West Bloomfield
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downsize sucks.”
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West Bloomfield
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mat of the JN. It is fabulous!
An excellent change! Just
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Huntington Woods
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read it today. It’
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It’
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West Bloomfield
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— Lauren Alyssa Yellen
Bloomfield Hills
“I read it from beginning
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— Eleanor Smith
West Bloomfield
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