16 | SEPTEMBER 12 • 2019 

and better bagels! 
They agree they have found it 
easy to assimilate into the Jewish 
community in Philadelphia. 
They have been members of a 
local synagogue since they moved 
to town, and their children 
attended Jewish preschool. They 
say it’
s just as easy for them to 
play “Jewish geography” in Philly 
as in Detroit and, when they 
moved there, many of the Jewish 
people they met had family back 
in Detroit. 
“The Northeast seems to 
have just as many Jewish camps 
as the Midwest, and our kids 
have had a blast participating in 
Maccabiah, Gaga and Shabbat 
traditions at sleepaway camp,” 
Allison said. “We run into quite 
a few Michigan fans here,” Adam 
adds, “so you can occasionally 
catch me shouting ‘
Go Blue!’
 at 
strangers at synagogue on the 
High Holidays.”
They were raised not only to 
tolerate but also to appreciate 
different religious and political 
views, and they worry it will be 
hard for their children to learn 
those values. 
“Although we try to emphasize 
them in our home, it’
s impossi-
ble to escape the xenophobia that 
seems to be increasingly rampant 
in America. We’
ve done our best 
to shelter our kids from preju-
dice, but when they leave the 
house, we don’
t have control over 
what they see and hear,” 
Allison 
remarked. 
The Grants say they agree one 
mistake parents make is pushing 
kids to outperform their peers 
instead of encouraging them to 
pursue their own learning and 
mastery. To them, that means 
nurturing and developing their 
natural strengths along with 
trying out new challenges and 
overcoming obstacles. 
Regarding rules on “com-
puter screen time” at the 

Grant household, 
Adam and Allison 
don’
t worry too much 
about the quantity of 
screen-time — they 
care much more 
about the quali-
ty. They encour-
age their kids to 
engage actively 
with electronic 
devices through reading, 
solving puzzles, and playing 
math and word games rather 
than just passively watching 
shows. Sometimes they play 
video games, but they’
ve also 
learned to code their own 
basic video games, which helps 
promote mathematical and 
analytical skills. 
Adam and Allison also men-
tioned the children’
s books that 
most inspired them during their 
childhood in suburban Detroit. 
One of Allison’
s favorite pic-
ture books was The Pain and 
the Great One by Judy Blume, 
and later Little Women. Adam 
has early memories of loving 
Alexander and the Terrible, 
Horrible, No-Good-Very-Bad-Day, 
which eventually was displaced 
by The Westing Game. Today, 
they both love Beautiful Oops! by 
Barney Saltzberg. 
“We view it as a brilliantly 
written and illustrated book 
with a powerful message for kids 
about how it’
s not only OK to 
make mistakes — sometimes 
mistakes actually make kids 
more creative,” Adam said. 
When asked about writing 
Option B, if any particular 
insights arose about having dif-
ficult conversations with their 
children, such as at the loss of 
a loved one, Adam remarked 
about a personal loss. 
“I was devastated to lose my 
friend and mentor Jeff Zaslow in 
2012,” he said. “The most help-
ful insight I gained about dealing 

with sudden loss came from 
Allison. She reminded me that 
no matter how bad the situation 
was, it could always be worse. 
“Jeff was tragically killed in 
a car accident, and although it 
seemed like the worst possible 
situation, it was important to 
remember there could have been 
other people in the car with 
him,” Adam said. 
In Option B, he ended up 
sharing that in the darkest 
moments, gratitude can be 
found by shifting one’
s perspec-
tive to appreciate what we still 
have. The lesson: When talking 
to children about difficult situ-
ations, it can help them to see 
that even when things seem bad, 
there is still good to be found. 
When asked about the chal-
lenges of parenting, they say they 
don’
t think parents should be 
focused on fostering professional 
potential. 
“Teaching kids to define 
themselves by their career 
accomplishments sets them up 
for misery,” Adam said. “Too 
many parents end up becoming 
helicopter parents or snowplow 
parents, which prevents kids 
from developing independence 
and resilience. 
 “We believe the responsibility 
of parents is to encourage kids to 
take pride in excellence, but also 
nurture virtues like generosity, 
curiosity and integrity.” 

Jews in the D

“When talking 
to children 
about diffi
 cult 
situations, it 
can help them 
to see that even 
when things 
seem bad, there 
is still good to 
be found.”

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