18 July 4 • 2019
jn
T
he first-floor conference room
at the Hyatt Hotel in Royal Oak
was abuzz with activity the eve-
ning of Saturday, May 18. In the lobby,
the scent of hairspray and perfume was
overwhelming as teenage girls and boys
milled around in their most glamorous
attire.
It was prom night, but this was no
ordinary prom. The 151 teenagers in
attendance all had one thing in com-
mon: they are battling life-limiting
illness.
The event is hosted annually by Wish
Upon a Teen, a nationwide nonprofit
organization dedicated to providing
age-appropriate programming for teen-
agers with life-limiting conditions. This
age group is often overlooked in the
medical community.
Alissa Toby Bandalene of Sylvan Lake
sat at the back of the hotel conference
room getting her makeup finished by the
mother of Miss Teen Michigan, who was
also in attendance. As she had makeup
applied to her eyelids, Alissa said, “It’
s
nice to wear makeup because when you
spend most of your time at school or the
hospital you don’
t really have an excuse
to dress up.
”
Alissa has Ehlers-Danlos syndrome
and lupus and is attending her fourth
Wish Upon a Teen prom. She learned
about the organization and the prom
after having a severe flare-up in her con-
dition that landed her in the hospital for
nearly a year. During this time, Alissa
was unable to attend school and had
nowhere to go and nothing to do. Her
mother ran across Wish Upon a Teen
and Alissa became involved in the orga-
nization, attending events such as prom,
spa days and cooking programs.
“I think the prom and the organiza-
tion overall are incredibly important
because there are organizations for chil-
dren, there are organizations for adults
and for cancer patients, but, if you don’
t
fall into any of these categories, you are
a medical outcast and you are ignored,
”
Alissa said.
Prom is Alissa’
s favorite event hosted
by Wish Upon a Teen. This year, it was
held in the lobby of the Emagine Royal
Oak, which was complete with decora-
tions, lights, music and food.
“Regular prom is really difficult when
you are sick,
” she said. After her flare-up,
Alissa attended prom at her high school
in a wheelchair. “It was miserable. I was
in the corner and nobody came up to
me. I couldn’
t get on the dance floor
because of the wheelchair,
” she said.
In contrast to this first prom expe-
rience, Alissa said her first prom with
Wish Upon a Teen was “incredible.
” The
difference, she explained, is that at a
normal prom everyone expects you to be
partying and having the time of your life,
whereas this prom is a celebration of life.
“Everyone understands what you’
re
going through,
” she said. “If you aren’
t
feeling well, someone will come up to
you. No one is going to judge you.
”
Alissa also talked about how Judaism
and her faith have impacted her life and
medical journey.
“The year before my flare-up, I went
on Birthright,
” Alissa said. “I was able
to pray at the Western Wall, which was
a big deal for me because I have had
serious medical issues since I was 14
and didn’
t think I would ever be able to
go. I think about that a lot when I’
m not
doing well, and I hope I can go back one
day.
”
JOINING FORCES
The prom was sponsored by the 95.5
FM radio show “Mojo in the Morning”
as well as the Center for Special Needs
at the Jewish Community Center. The
special needs program became involved
in Wish Upon a Teen because its found-
er, Michelle Soto, has a son with autism
who is a part of the JCC program. The
special needs program and various other
JCC programs helped put together gift
bags and arrange services for the Wish
Upon a Teen prom event.
Both Special Needs and Wish Upon a
Teen recognize the importance of having
age-appropriate programming for teens
and young adults with medical issues.
JCC Special Needs reaches people ages
3-27 through programming as well as
social groups for those age 16+ every
other Thursday. This activity allows
attendees to be treated as mature adults.
Similarly, Wish Upon a Teen allows
teens with medical issues to feel as
though they are independent.
“There is a whole population of peo-
ple who are just ignored,
” Alissa said. “It’
s
such an awkward age to have a chronic
illness because you’
re trying to start a
young adult life but most of us are still
living with our parents and being cared
for. Wish Upon a Teen and events like
this help ease that feeling of being treat-
ed like a child.
”
Alissa credits Wish Upon a Teen for
helping fill a void in the medical com-
munity for young adults with chronic
illness.
“
A lot of us are too sick to live on our
own and have social interactions so
events like this are really important for
our lives because social interactions and
friends are really what keep you going,
”
Alissa said. ■
Prom Time
Wish Upon a Teen
offers a classic experience
to those with life-limiting illnesses.
JESSIE COHEN JN INTERN
Alissa Bandalene of Sylvan Lake gets
her hair and makeup done prior to the
Wish Upon a Teen annual prom.
Out on the dance floor at
the Emagine Royal Oak,
amid the lights and music,
Alissa Bandalene enjoys
herself with friends.
Alissa Bandalene in her beaded gown
is ready for some fun.
PHOTOS BY HEATHER CHEN
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