36 June 27 • 2019
jn

health

Lynne Golodner of Huntington 
Woods saw the deleterious effects of 
too much screen time in the oldest two 
of her children.
She and her first husband had 
recently divorced, and they wanted 
the children to be able to reach either 
of them easily. So, they gave them 
cellphones, which seemed like a useful 
tool, at the end of fifth grade. 
The phones helped with commu-
nication, but they also had unintend-
ed consequences. The children “
got 
into social media younger than both 
their father and I would prefer,” said 
Golodner, who manages a public rela-
tions agency. “They’
d surf on Google 
and stumble upon sites that were high-
ly inappropriate. They began to care 
what others thought of them due to 
social medial involvement. 
“I noticed a significant change in 
them, an almost drugged connection 
to the phone that they could not imag-
ine relinquishing.”
Now she enforces daily phone-free 
times, including all of Shabbat. The 
kids also have to share their passwords 
and allow their parents to follow them 
on every social media platform they 
use. She and her ex-husband decided 
their youngest will not get a phone 
until he finishes seventh grade.
Golodner’
s older son, Asher 
Schreiber, said he thinks his parents 
may not understand the best way to 
curtail screen usage.
“I think the most important thing 
to teach kids about screen time is how 
they can be responsible as opposed to 
just vilifying screen time or banning 
it outright,” said Schreiber, 17, a rising 
senior at Berkley High School.
“I think I am on my phone much 
less than the vast majority of my 
friends. I believe a big part of this is 
because I deleted Instagram and use 
social media very infrequently because 
it’
s easy to get sucked into a lot of 
superficiality with social media,” he 
said.
He thinks social media can be so 
damaging to teens because it relies on 
the opinions of others.
“So, this plays off of many teenagers’
 
insecurities and makes it more likely 
they will check their phones more 
often because they want to see what 
people think about what they’
re doing,” 
he added.
His sister, Eliana Schreiber, 15, a 

Berkley rising junior, said she thinks 
her parents are too strict. “Yes, kids are 
on their phones a lot, but it’
s just a part 
of society now. I think some rules are 
necessary, just to keep kids safe. I know 
I’
m not any more addicted than any-
body else with a smart phone and that 
includes adults, even though they think 
that this is mostly a juvenile problem.” 

SCREEN LIMITS WORK
Child psychologist Robin Willner 
wants to help younger children learn 
to use screens responsibly. She devel-
oped a program she named Screen 
Time Dragon when her now-adult 
sons were children. 
“Experts in child development 
believe when children are empowered 
to create boundaries and self-monitor 
those boundaries, they are more likely 
to comply with them,” said Willner, 
who grew up in Detroit and lived 
in Oak Park before moving to East 
Lansing in 1998.
The American Academy of 
Pediatrics recommends that parents 
limit media intake to one hour a day 
for children aged 18 months-5 years 
— and say it’
s better for them to spend 
that time with a parent, rather than 
alone. For children ages 5 and older, 
the academy recommends a limit of 
two hours per day.
The Screen Time Dragon kit includes 

a colorful fabric with two pockets, one 
designated “unused” and the other 
“used,” four washable plastic cards and 
a dry-erase pen. Each card has spaces 
for parents and children to write in an 
amount of screen time (perhaps a half-
hour) and a monetary value for that 
time (maybe 50 cents). 
When the child wants to watch TV or 
play a computer game, he or she takes 
one of the cards and moves it from the 
“unused” to the “used” pocket. When 
all the cards have been used, no more 
screen time is allowed that day. If some 
of the cards are not used, the child 
receives the monetary value on the 
unused card.
Willner, who is co-president of 
Congregation Kehillat Israel in Lansing, 
recommends making exceptions for 
special screen time, such as watching a 
movie together as a family. Screen time 
spent on school assignments doesn’
t 
count. She also notes that unused 
screen-time cards should not be carried 
over from one day to the next.
She developed the system when her 
sons Gabe, 33, and Ethan, 29, were in 
elementary school, long before cell-
phones became ubiquitous.
“Gabe was not into television and 
then, all of a sudden, he was addicted 
to it,” she said. Screen Time Dragon 
helped him control his television watch-
ing. “It worked really well for a long 

time,” she said.
Gabe, a financial counselor who lives 
in Hamtramck, says trading screen 
time for cash made him realize there 
were better ways to spend his time than 
watching TV
. “I learned to fill my time 
with books, games and outdoor activi-
ties instead.”
He said the program also taught him 
the value of money from a young age. 
“Because I had to be disciplined to earn 
my money, I thought hard about how to 
spend it, and now my career is helping 
other people think hard about how to 
spend their money,” he said.
“I also remember feeling trusted and 
empowered. My mom wasn’
t constantly 
checking on me to make sure I was 
abiding by the system. It was up to me 
to have the integrity to move over all 
the coupons I used and cash in the ones 
I didn’
t.”
Gabe’
s fiancée, art teacher Allison 
Zeff, designed the logo for Screen 
Time Dragon and Willner’
s friend 
Melody Stratton of East Lansing 
designed the kit for commercial sale. 
Willner and Stratton make the kits 
in her dining room, which she jokes 
looks like a sweatshop, with fabric 
scraps everywhere.
Willner’
s long career as a therapist — 
she has certification in infant mental 
health as well as a master’
s degree in 
child psychology — has convinced her 
that unlimited screen time can cause 
attention deficit problems in children 
and may contribute to violence in soci-
ety overall.
As a counselor, she was shocked to 
see the violent television programs 
parents would have running during her 
visits to the homes of her young clients.
“Children learn through their eyes,” 
she said. “Before they can articulate 
anything, they understand what they’
re 
seeing. It gets inside and lives there.”
Even good television should be 
limited, she said. There’
s a common 
misunderstanding that children learn 
from television and computers, she said. 
They don’
t learn how to stack blocks by 
moving “blocks” on a screen; they learn 
by manipulating pieces of wood or 
plastic. And they don’
t learn how to talk 
by listening to a computer or television; 
they learn that through two-way con-
versation with another person. ■

For details on the Screen Time Dragon kit ($24), 

contact Willner at ScreenTimeDragon@gmail.com.

Child psychologist Robin Willner created Screen Time Dragon when her sons were 

young as a way to set boundaries and limit their screen time in a positive way.

COURTESY ROBIN WILLNER

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