June 20 • 2019 5
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R
amy is, with one exception, a
Jewish story about how faith
and heritage can make navigat-
ing contemporary American life both
humorous and hard. The exception is
that Ramy — the 28-year-old come-
dian and the main
character in his epon-
ymous TV show — is
Muslim.
Otherwise, though,
Jewish. In the gen-
dered expectations
of first-generation
American parents
eager to become
grandparents of third-generation
Americans. In balancing the work
ethic instilled upon us with creative
pursuits and work-life balance. In the
members of extended family (and
“family”) whose outspoken world-
views, while based on their own lived
experiences, perpetuate stereotypes of
others and of their own community.
The first 10-episode season of Ramy,
a Hulu original series, has afforded me
three things. First, audible laughter
(aka LOL IRL) sufficient to rouse Lola,
my geriatric Newfoundland. Second,
a new way to think about Jewish jour-
neys of affiliation and assimilation.
Third, a safe space to explore my
own ignorance and prejudice when it
comes to Islam and its adherents.
Ramy is funny. And there’
s no way
better way to sap something of its
humor than to try to explain how or
why. Instead, here’
s the show’
s opening
exchange, between Ramy and his dot-
ing, would-be-empty-nesting mother:
— “I don’
t understand. Why is he
getting married before you? Maybe you
can find a girl in there.
”
— “I’
m not gonna flirt with girls at
the mosque … What am I supposed to
say? Like, ‘
Hey, can I get your father’
s
number?’
”
— “Yes, why not?”
Ramy’
s belief in God is the source
of “observance dissonance.” On the
one hand, the deep interconnectedness
he observes in his relationships and
reflections point decisively toward the
Divine. On the other, that same depth
and dynamism make it impossible to
observe all the rules of his religion.
“And, yeah, I have
sex even though I’
m not
married and I’
m probably
gonna try mushrooms one
day. So what? That means
I’
m not a good Muslim?
’
Cause I don’
t follow all the
rules and the f***king judg-
ments that are always just
being put on us? … And
then I do the same thing. I
put the same f***ing judg-
ments on everyone around
me. I’
m just, like, trying to
be … good. Do you think
God cares if I wash between my toes?”
The spirit or the letter of law? His
own moral compass, the precepts of
his faith or the norms of his commu-
nity?
I have never had to negotiate dating
apps or head coverings, let alone a
combination of the two. Still, Judah
is less than three years away from
becoming bar mitzvah (and is named
Judah) and yet I feel like I’
m taking a
pop quiz in my underwear when I try
to help him sound out and translate
Hebrew words.
Like Ramy says in this exchange
with a friend’
s cousin in town inter-
viewing prospective husbands during
Ramadan:
— “I read the Qur’
an in English.
”
— “I want my kids to read Arabic.
”
— “Totally, no, I think they should, I
mean, I think that you could, you know,
you gotta teach the kids Arabic, and I
actually feel like when I have kids, I’
ll
just, I’
ll take the class with them, so this
way, it’
s like a bonding thing, like me
and them and then they’
re like, ‘
Wow,
Dad’
s still learning, too,
’
I think is a
valuable lesson.
”
— “The adult brain stops developing
at 25, so it’
s much harder to learn lan-
guages. It’
ll never stick.
”
Ramy Youssef was a 10-year-old
child of Egyptian immigrants living
in New Jersey on Sept. 11, 2001. I
was a college sophomore in upper
Manhattan.
Like you — the thoughtful readers
of this column, who think critically,
bring your own grocery bags to the
store and floss regularly — I consider
myself an open-minded and empa-
thetic person.
But I have an implicit bias against
Muslims in general and Arabs in par-
ticular and you probably do, too.
Planet of the Arabs is a short film
made entirely of footage that cre-
ator Jaqueline Salloum describes as
demonstrating “Hollywood’
s relentless
vilification and dehumanization of
Arabs and Muslims.” It’
s worth spend-
ing nine minutes to watch — and you
don’
t need a Hulu account. There’
s also
riztest.com. (Lighter online alternative:
Peabody Award-winning Halal in the
Family).
Ramy is one in a billion, in that
he is exactly one Muslim person out
of approximately two billion in the
world. And Ramy is nearly as anoma-
lous as a nuanced portrayal of Muslim
characters for a secular audience.
Even — especially? — in a region
that has an engaged, diverse Muslim
and Middle-Eastern communities,
Islamophobia is a sociological reality.
And there’
s self-work for each of us
to do. I, for one, had to look online
to learn the meaning of “habibi” and
then train my ear to hear it as a term
of endearment and not some kind of
ominous other.
Yes, it is purposeful and powerful
for Jews and Muslims to volunteer
together on Mitzvah Day and to advo-
cate for Christians who would face
religious persecution if deported to
Iraq. More of that.
But just like we are more than our
mitzvot, Ramy reminds us that there
is honor — and humor — in hearing
our neighbors’
stories and sharing our
own. ■
Jewfro
Ben Falik
Ramy, Habibi
ROBIN BUCKSON/THE DETROIT NEWS
, REPRINTED WITH PERMISSION
For information,
contact Tracey Proghovnick
(248) 661-1836
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