June 20 • 2019 5
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R

amy is, with one exception, a 
Jewish story about how faith 
and heritage can make navigat-
ing contemporary American life both 
humorous and hard. The exception is 
that Ramy — the 28-year-old come-
dian and the main 
character in his epon-
ymous TV show — is 
Muslim. 
Otherwise, though, 
Jewish. In the gen-
dered expectations 
of first-generation 
American parents 
eager to become 
grandparents of third-generation 
Americans. In balancing the work 
ethic instilled upon us with creative 
pursuits and work-life balance. In the 
members of extended family (and 
“family”) whose outspoken world-
views, while based on their own lived 
experiences, perpetuate stereotypes of 
others and of their own community.
The first 10-episode season of Ramy, 
a Hulu original series, has afforded me 
three things. First, audible laughter 
(aka LOL IRL) sufficient to rouse Lola, 
my geriatric Newfoundland. Second, 
a new way to think about Jewish jour-
neys of affiliation and assimilation. 
Third, a safe space to explore my 
own ignorance and prejudice when it 
comes to Islam and its adherents. 
Ramy is funny. And there’
s no way 
better way to sap something of its 
humor than to try to explain how or 
why. Instead, here’
s the show’
s opening 
exchange, between Ramy and his dot-
ing, would-be-empty-nesting mother:
— “I don’
t understand. Why is he 
getting married before you? Maybe you 
can find a girl in there.
”
— “I’
m not gonna flirt with girls at 
the mosque … What am I supposed to 
say? Like, ‘
Hey, can I get your father’
s 
number?’
”
— “Yes, why not?”
Ramy’
s belief in God is the source 
of “observance dissonance.” On the 
one hand, the deep interconnectedness 
he observes in his relationships and 
reflections point decisively toward the 
Divine. On the other, that same depth 
and dynamism make it impossible to 
observe all the rules of his religion. 

“And, yeah, I have 
sex even though I’
m not 
married and I’
m probably 
gonna try mushrooms one 
day. So what? That means 
I’
m not a good Muslim? 
’
Cause I don’
t follow all the 
rules and the f***king judg-
ments that are always just 
being put on us? … And 
then I do the same thing. I 
put the same f***ing judg-
ments on everyone around 
me. I’
m just, like, trying to 
be … good. Do you think 
God cares if I wash between my toes?”
The spirit or the letter of law? His 
own moral compass, the precepts of 
his faith or the norms of his commu-
nity?
I have never had to negotiate dating 
apps or head coverings, let alone a 
combination of the two. Still, Judah 
is less than three years away from 
becoming bar mitzvah (and is named 
Judah) and yet I feel like I’
m taking a 
pop quiz in my underwear when I try 
to help him sound out and translate 
Hebrew words.
Like Ramy says in this exchange 
with a friend’
s cousin in town inter-
viewing prospective husbands during 
Ramadan:
— “I read the Qur’
an in English.
”
— “I want my kids to read Arabic.
”
— “Totally, no, I think they should, I 
mean, I think that you could, you know, 
you gotta teach the kids Arabic, and I 
actually feel like when I have kids, I’
ll 
just, I’
ll take the class with them, so this 
way, it’
s like a bonding thing, like me 
and them and then they’
re like, ‘
Wow, 
Dad’
s still learning, too,
’
 I think is a 
valuable lesson.
”
— “The adult brain stops developing 
at 25, so it’
s much harder to learn lan-
guages. It’
ll never stick.
”
Ramy Youssef was a 10-year-old 
child of Egyptian immigrants living 
in New Jersey on Sept. 11, 2001. I 
was a college sophomore in upper 
Manhattan. 
Like you — the thoughtful readers 
of this column, who think critically, 
bring your own grocery bags to the 
store and floss regularly — I consider 
myself an open-minded and empa-

thetic person.
But I have an implicit bias against 
Muslims in general and Arabs in par-
ticular and you probably do, too.
Planet of the Arabs is a short film 
made entirely of footage that cre-
ator Jaqueline Salloum describes as 
demonstrating “Hollywood’
s relentless 
vilification and dehumanization of 
Arabs and Muslims.” It’
s worth spend-
ing nine minutes to watch — and you 
don’
t need a Hulu account. There’
s also 
riztest.com. (Lighter online alternative: 
Peabody Award-winning Halal in the 
Family).
Ramy is one in a billion, in that 
he is exactly one Muslim person out 
of approximately two billion in the 
world. And Ramy is nearly as anoma-
lous as a nuanced portrayal of Muslim 
characters for a secular audience.
Even — especially? — in a region 
that has an engaged, diverse Muslim 
and Middle-Eastern communities, 
Islamophobia is a sociological reality. 
And there’
s self-work for each of us 
to do. I, for one, had to look online 
to learn the meaning of “habibi” and 
then train my ear to hear it as a term 
of endearment and not some kind of 
ominous other.
Yes, it is purposeful and powerful 
for Jews and Muslims to volunteer 
together on Mitzvah Day and to advo-
cate for Christians who would face 
religious persecution if deported to 
Iraq. More of that.
But just like we are more than our 
mitzvot, Ramy reminds us that there 
is honor — and humor — in hearing 
our neighbors’
 stories and sharing our 
own. ■

Jewfro

Ben Falik

Ramy, Habibi

ROBIN BUCKSON/THE DETROIT NEWS 
, REPRINTED WITH PERMISSION

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