May 30 • 2019 33
jn

R

elationships don’
t come with 
operating manuals telling you 
what you ought to do and not 
do. In any relationship, business and 
personal, family and friend, it is only 
over time we learn about each 
other, our likes and dislikes, 
preferences and proclivities. 
Through trial and error, 
mistakes and missteps, conver-
sation and contention, consent 
and compromise, we learn how 
to support our friends, part-
ners and loved ones and foster 
healthy, productive and mean-
ingful relationships.
This process is replete with 
challenges. Relationships take 
time to blossom. Sometimes 
they falter or fail. How would 
our relationships look differ-
ent if we each came with clear 
instructions? 
In contrast, our relationship with 
God does come with clear instruc-
tions. The book of Vaykira (Leviticus) 
contains nearly 40 percent of the 613 
commandments, far more than any of 
the other five books of the Torah. This 
book, at the center of the Five Books 
of Moses, is the focal point of God’
s 
instructions to us as a people. It con-
cludes with the portion of Bechukotai, 
which touts the benefits and rewards 
for heeding God’
s instructions and 
warns us of calamities that would befall 
us if we do not. 
In order to maintain our relation-
ship, God has explicit expectations. 
Failing to fulfill these leads to calamity 
after calamity, one worse than the 
next. Despite these ominous warnings, 
there is a significant benefit; we aren’
t 
left to wonder how to nurture our 

relationship. With knowledge of God’
s 
expectations comes the relief that 
accompanies an understanding of what 
is required of us.
Aside from clear expectations, there 
is another element to our por-
tion that is, perhaps, even more 
important to a fundamentally 
healthy relationship: the oppor-
tunity to make amends. While 
these dire warnings contain ter-
rible mortal calamities at both 
an individual and national level, 
they stop short of threatening 
abandonment and total anni-
hilation. Even as God warns us 
that deserting him means expe-
riencing hardships, God awaits 
our return. 
Throughout the warnings 
in our parshah, the refrain “if 
despite these (consequences) 
you do not take heed” appears 
several times. Each series of conse-
quences is interjected with God’
s hope 
that we will acknowledge our infidelity 
and return to God.
God invites us to seize the oppor-
tunity to reflect on our situation, 
accept our contribution to it and make 
amends. Until, the Torah declares, we 
finally “humble our callused hearts;” 
whereupon God says he will “remem-
ber my covenant.
” 
God made a commitment and, 
despite our disloyalty, he waits, hoping 
that we will return. Healthy relation-
ships can stand bumps, rocky times 
and learning about the needs of each 
other. The one thing they can’
t with-
stand is the absence of forgiveness. ■

Rabbi Azaryah Cohen is head of school at 

Frankel Jewish Academy in West Bloomfield.

spirit

torah portion

Rabbi Azaryah 
Cohen

Parshat 

Bechokutai: 

Leviticus 

26:3-27:34; 

Jeremiah 

16:19-17:14.

Learning 
To Relate

 

 

 

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