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jn
R
elationships don’
t come with
operating manuals telling you
what you ought to do and not
do. In any relationship, business and
personal, family and friend, it is only
over time we learn about each
other, our likes and dislikes,
preferences and proclivities.
Through trial and error,
mistakes and missteps, conver-
sation and contention, consent
and compromise, we learn how
to support our friends, part-
ners and loved ones and foster
healthy, productive and mean-
ingful relationships.
This process is replete with
challenges. Relationships take
time to blossom. Sometimes
they falter or fail. How would
our relationships look differ-
ent if we each came with clear
instructions?
In contrast, our relationship with
God does come with clear instruc-
tions. The book of Vaykira (Leviticus)
contains nearly 40 percent of the 613
commandments, far more than any of
the other five books of the Torah. This
book, at the center of the Five Books
of Moses, is the focal point of God’
s
instructions to us as a people. It con-
cludes with the portion of Bechukotai,
which touts the benefits and rewards
for heeding God’
s instructions and
warns us of calamities that would befall
us if we do not.
In order to maintain our relation-
ship, God has explicit expectations.
Failing to fulfill these leads to calamity
after calamity, one worse than the
next. Despite these ominous warnings,
there is a significant benefit; we aren’
t
left to wonder how to nurture our
relationship. With knowledge of God’
s
expectations comes the relief that
accompanies an understanding of what
is required of us.
Aside from clear expectations, there
is another element to our por-
tion that is, perhaps, even more
important to a fundamentally
healthy relationship: the oppor-
tunity to make amends. While
these dire warnings contain ter-
rible mortal calamities at both
an individual and national level,
they stop short of threatening
abandonment and total anni-
hilation. Even as God warns us
that deserting him means expe-
riencing hardships, God awaits
our return.
Throughout the warnings
in our parshah, the refrain “if
despite these (consequences)
you do not take heed” appears
several times. Each series of conse-
quences is interjected with God’
s hope
that we will acknowledge our infidelity
and return to God.
God invites us to seize the oppor-
tunity to reflect on our situation,
accept our contribution to it and make
amends. Until, the Torah declares, we
finally “humble our callused hearts;”
whereupon God says he will “remem-
ber my covenant.
”
God made a commitment and,
despite our disloyalty, he waits, hoping
that we will return. Healthy relation-
ships can stand bumps, rocky times
and learning about the needs of each
other. The one thing they can’
t with-
stand is the absence of forgiveness. ■
Rabbi Azaryah Cohen is head of school at
Frankel Jewish Academy in West Bloomfield.
spirit
torah portion
Rabbi Azaryah
Cohen
Parshat
Bechokutai:
Leviticus
26:3-27:34;
Jeremiah
16:19-17:14.
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