April 18 • 2019 5
jn
T
he number four plays an import-
ant part in our sedarim. There
are four questions, four sons,
four cups of wine, etc. Here is some
Passover humor that
I found four-midable.
(Now you know what’
s
coming.)
Children often hear
things differently; take,
for example, the young-
ster who came home
talking about unleaded
bread. Then there was
the angry uncle who fit right in at the
table: He was a bitter Herb.
Did you know that a person who
really likes unleavened bread is a
matzah-chist? On this crumby holiday,
can you differentiate between matzah
and cardboard? The latter does not
leave crumbs in the carpet.
The Passover search engine is known
as eliYAHOO.
The king of Pesach is
Elvis Parsley.
A favorite Passover
film is the Shankbone
Redemption.
An Army base that is
off limits on this holiday?
Fort Leavenworth.
Do you know what kind of shoes the
Egyptians wore during the plagues?
Open toad.
Who was behind the Pharaoh’
s Evil
Empire? Darth Seder.
The best kind of cheese to use on
Pesach is matzah-rella.
How many seders does it take to
screw in a light bulb? Who knows, one?
Moses was the first person with a tab-
let to download data from the cloud.
How does Moses make beer?
Hebrews it!
Medical experts have warned about
serving chopped liver and charoses at
a seder. It could lead to charoses of the
liver.
The matzah quit his job because he
couldn’
t get a raise.
Someone who spends hours prepar-
ing a seder plate is egg-zausted.
Movies that never made it:
• Throw Matzah From the Train
• Oceans Unleveaned
• Seders of the Lost Ark
Pharaoh’
s daughter was the best busi-
nesswoman in the Bible. She pulled a
profit out of the water.
What you have just read is the best
argument for not having corn on
Pesach. I wish you al
l could wrap your
arms around a happy holiday (HUG
Sameach!). ■
continued on page 10
Leaven Your Load!
letters
views
Memories of the Measles
Reading the almost daily reports of
the surge in cases of measles both
locally, nationally as well as globally
takes me back many years to my own
experience with this rather unpleas-
ant childhood affliction.
It was in the early days of the War
of Independence in my native Israel,
when life in our home located in the
south of Tel Aviv close to the Jaffa
border became so dangerous my
parents sent me to live with an aunt
and uncle in the center of the city
and much closer to my elementary
school. It was then I was struck with
the measles. I remember how miser-
able I felt and how my poor aunt did
her very best to care for me while at
the same time worried about her own
little boy, my cousin David, being
infected as well, which he surely was
as soon as I recovered.
I remember the unpleasantness
of that childhood illness as well as
all the rest that I and my sister and
all our friends had to endure before
there were immunizations to pre-
vent them. For the life of me, I can’
t
understand the parents, who obvi-
ously love their children, who refuse
to take advantage of them and, as a
result, put their own as well as other
kids in such danger.
Rachel Kapen
West Bloomfield
Dayenu 2019
Every Pesach we thank God for having
taken us out of Egypt to freedom.
We say “Dayenu, it would have been
enough” to have received even less than
our total freedom.
Today we have a president whose
statements and actions call upon
concerned citizens to again invoke
“Dayenu.
”
Immediately after winning the
election, Donald Trump, hearing he
had lost by 3 million votes, said, “There
were 3 million illegal votes in Califor-
nia.
”
Dayenu — that might have been
enough for us to question how he could
he have ‘
‘
known” that. It should have
been enough for us to realize what a
pathological liar Trump is.
After the march in Charlottesville
and the murder of an innocent woman,
Trump said, “There were good people
on both sides.
”
. ·
Dayenu — that should have been
enough to show us what values he
embraces!
Trump’
s withdrawal from the Paris
climate accords (while none of the
other 194 signatories withdrew) with 97
percent of scientists believing climate
change is an existential threat … Day-
enu, certainly, this should have been
enough to judge his understanding!
Trump’
s infamous Helsinki state-
ment, standing beside Putin, and
Don’
t Forget Howard Wolpe
Elissa Slotkin and Andy Levin are
two new Jewish Representatives in
Congress who we can all be proud
of. But, Jack Lessenberry’
s article (JN
April 4, 2019. edition, page 20)
lauding this as the first time Michigan
has had two Jewish members of the
House at the same time and as the
first time since 1885 that the state
has had a Jewish congressperson not
named Levin is simply wrong.
Howard Wolpe served admira-
bly for 14 years, beginning in 1979.
His district, which was anchored by
Kalamazoo, had a relatively small
Jewish population. In 1994 he left
Congress and ran unsuccessfully for
governor.
Congressman Wolpe served as
chair of the House Foreign Affairs
Committee Subcommittee on Africa
for 10 years. He may not have been
from Southeast Michigan, but he
deserves to be remembered as anoth-
er Jewish representative who was an
important Congressional leader.
David Fink
West Bloomfield
Sy Manello
Editorial Assistant