April 18 • 2019 5
jn

T

he number four plays an import-
ant part in our sedarim. There 
are four questions, four sons, 
four cups of wine, etc. Here is some 
Passover humor that 
I found four-midable. 
(Now you know what’
s 
coming.)
Children often hear 
things differently; take, 
for example, the young-
ster who came home 
talking about unleaded 
bread. Then there was 
the angry uncle who fit right in at the 
table: He was a bitter Herb.
Did you know that a person who 
really likes unleavened bread is a 
matzah-chist? On this crumby holiday, 
can you differentiate between matzah 
and cardboard? The latter does not 
leave crumbs in the carpet.
The Passover search engine is known 
as eliYAHOO.

The king of Pesach is 
Elvis Parsley.
A favorite Passover 
film is the Shankbone 
Redemption.
An Army base that is 
off limits on this holiday? 
Fort Leavenworth.
Do you know what kind of shoes the 
Egyptians wore during the plagues? 
Open toad.
Who was behind the Pharaoh’
s Evil 
Empire? Darth Seder.
The best kind of cheese to use on 
Pesach is matzah-rella.
How many seders does it take to 
screw in a light bulb? Who knows, one?
Moses was the first person with a tab-
let to download data from the cloud.
How does Moses make beer? 
Hebrews it!
Medical experts have warned about 
serving chopped liver and charoses at 
a seder. It could lead to charoses of the 

liver.
The matzah quit his job because he 
couldn’
t get a raise.
Someone who spends hours prepar-
ing a seder plate is egg-zausted.
Movies that never made it:
 • Throw Matzah From the Train
 • Oceans Unleveaned
 • Seders of the Lost Ark
Pharaoh’
s daughter was the best busi-
nesswoman in the Bible. She pulled a 
profit out of the water.
What you have just read is the best 
argument for not having corn on 
Pesach. I wish you al 
l could wrap your 
arms around a happy holiday (HUG 
Sameach!). ■

continued on page 10

Leaven Your Load!

letters

views

Memories of the Measles
Reading the almost daily reports of 
the surge in cases of measles both 
locally, nationally as well as globally 
takes me back many years to my own 
experience with this rather unpleas-
ant childhood affliction.
It was in the early days of the War 
of Independence in my native Israel, 
when life in our home located in the 
south of Tel Aviv close to the Jaffa 
border became so dangerous my 
parents sent me to live with an aunt 
and uncle in the center of the city 
and much closer to my elementary 
school. It was then I was struck with 
the measles. I remember how miser-
able I felt and how my poor aunt did 
her very best to care for me while at 
the same time worried about her own 
little boy, my cousin David, being 
infected as well, which he surely was 
as soon as I recovered.
I remember the unpleasantness 
of that childhood illness as well as 
all the rest that I and my sister and 
all our friends had to endure before 
there were immunizations to pre-
vent them. For the life of me, I can’
t 
understand the parents, who obvi-
ously love their children, who refuse 
to take advantage of them and, as a 
result, put their own as well as other 
kids in such danger. 

Rachel Kapen

West Bloomfield

Dayenu 2019
Every Pesach we thank God for having 
taken us out of Egypt to freedom. 
 We say “Dayenu, it would have been 
enough” to have received even less than 
our total freedom.
 Today we have a president whose 
statements and actions call upon 
concerned citizens to again invoke 
“Dayenu.
”
 Immediately after winning the 
election, Donald Trump, hearing he 
had lost by 3 million votes, said, “There 
were 3 million illegal votes in Califor-
nia.
”
 Dayenu — that might have been 
enough for us to question how he could 
he have ‘
‘
known” that. It should have 
been enough for us to realize what a 
pathological liar Trump is.
 After the march in Charlottesville 
and the murder of an innocent woman, 
Trump said, “There were good people 
on both sides.
” 
. ·
 Dayenu — that should have been 
enough to show us what values he 
embraces!
 Trump’
s withdrawal from the Paris 
climate accords (while none of the 
other 194 signatories withdrew) with 97 
percent of scientists believing climate 
change is an existential threat … Day-
enu, certainly, this should have been 
enough to judge his understanding!
 Trump’
s infamous Helsinki state-
ment, standing beside Putin, and 

Don’
t Forget Howard Wolpe

Elissa Slotkin and Andy Levin are 
two new Jewish Representatives in 
Congress who we can all be proud 
of. But, Jack Lessenberry’
s article (JN 
April 4, 2019. edition, page 20) 
lauding this as the first time Michigan 
has had two Jewish members of the 
House at the same time and as the 
first time since 1885 that the state 
has had a Jewish congressperson not 
named Levin is simply wrong. 
Howard Wolpe served admira-
bly for 14 years, beginning in 1979. 
His district, which was anchored by 
Kalamazoo, had a relatively small 
Jewish population. In 1994 he left 
Congress and ran unsuccessfully for 
governor.
Congressman Wolpe served as 
chair of the House Foreign Affairs 
Committee Subcommittee on Africa 
for 10 years. He may not have been 
from Southeast Michigan, but he 
deserves to be remembered as anoth-
er Jewish representative who was an 
important Congressional leader. 

David Fink

West Bloomfield 

Sy Manello
Editorial Assistant

