6 April 4 • 2019
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views
R
emember Thanksgiving? Well, a
major national trend has taken off
among young adults, who over-
whelmingly are living away from home,
to get together with
their “urban families”
for “Friendsgiving” —
a meal leading up to
the holiday they can
celebrate with their
friends before heading
home. A key feature is
the taking and posting
of event pictures on
social media using
the shared hashtag
“#Friendsgiving” to
create virtual connec-
tions.
Inspired by this
trend, The Well has
created a Jewish coun-
terpart —
#friend-
seder, to empower young adults to host
Passover seder gatherings with their
friends during April.
Founded in 2015, The Well is a
nationally recognized and Metro
Detroit-based Jewish community-build-
ing, education and spirituality outreach
initiative, catering to the needs of young
adults and young families. Its initiatives
have been replicated nationally, includ-
ing the #Reflect4Rosh hashtag of intro-
spection and gratitude leading up to the
High Holidays, a Passover seder-themed
Escape Room and the CSI: Coffee. Study.
Interpret. model for contemporary text
study launched in Detroit and being
replicated in Baltimore, Cleveland and
Memphis.
The Passover seder is a widely prac-
ticed Jewish ritual that often requires
young adults to travel home and rely on
older generations to curate their expe-
riences. Most Jewish millennials live in
just 12 cities and have cultivated “urban
families.
” #friendseder empowers these
young adults to make the holiday in
ways that are most meaningful to them.
They will be able to share their own fam-
ily rituals with friends, try out new ones
and, hopefully, enhance their own family
seders with what they’
ve learned.
So, what is a #friendseder? Think
Friendsgiving, but with bitter herbs, an
escaping bondage theme and religious
justification for consuming too much
wine. Or perhaps, a way to do Passover
that puts young adults in charge of how
they engage with Jewish ritual.
Like Friendsgiving, in which gather-
ings occur in the weeks leading up to the
actual holiday, a #friendseder can be held
anytime in April. People can host before
Passover to get into the holiday spirit
or after to keep the celebrations rolling.
Shabbat dinner #friendseder? Amazing.
Wednesday evening #friendseder and
board game competition? Fantastic.
The Well has built friendseder.com,
which is full of fun resources — think
awesome recipes, innovative decor
ideas, out-of-the-box Seder activities
and more — some from us and some
from our partners at OneTable, Hazon,
InterfaithFamily, Reboot, Moishe House,
Haggadot.com and Keshet. We’
ve also
created our own originally designed
(and available for download at no cost)
#friendseder Haggadah and are putting
out live (and recorded) “how-to-host”
webinars. And while each #friendseder
will be amazing, we’
re excited to create
global connections through the hashtag,
where hosts around the world capture
images of their gathering and share them
on social media.
Some have asked, “Isn’
t it weird to do
a seder not on the seder nights them-
selves?” Well — it’
s no weirder than the
myriad seders that happen before the
holiday throughout the Jewish world
— whether those are chocolate seders,
interfaith seders, women’
s seders, dip-
lomatic seders, etc. The Jewish wisdom
tradition regularly makes space for get-
ting ready/in the mood for upcoming
holidays. Our tradition recognizes that
just “jumping in” to a holiday and/or
observance often is not as powerful as
bringing intention to the lead-up and
getting in the mood.
Others have asked, “Is this just for
young adults?” Frankly, no. While our
efforts are designed to meet the needs of
young adults, anyone can host a #friend-
seder!
So, as we start to prepare for Passover,
it’
s only appropriate that we close by ask-
ing these Four Questions:
Is your annual Passover seder starting
to get stale?
Who are the people in your life you
really wish could be around your seder
table — the ones you most want to sing,
discuss, drink and be free with — but
because of pre-existing family customs/
obligations, aren’
t able to be with on the
holiday itself?
What’
s stopping you from getting
those people together in April, whether
before or after the holiday?
Why not have the seder of your
dreams, snap a pic and post it on social
media using the hashtag #friendseder?
Sign up at friendseder.com and join
the festivities.
Rabbi Daniel Horwitz and Marisa Meyerson are
professionals with The Well, an outreach initia-
tive of the Lori Talsky Zekelman Fund at Temple
Israel of Metropolitan Detroit. For more informa-
tion, visit meetyouatthewell.org and friendseder.
com. First published inejewishphilanthropy.com
commentary
#Friendseder — The Best Thing Since Boxed Matzah
Daniel
Horwitz
Marisa
Meyerson