March 7 • 2019 33
jn

Editor’
s note: This story was written by a local 
community member who prefers to remain anonymous. 
M

y world, like author Dani Shapiro’
s, was 
upended by a DNA test, but my story takes 
place in Detroit. 
Like Shapiro, I learned that my beloved dad was 
not my biological father. 
Unlike Shapiro, the sperm donor in my case was 
Jewish, and he wasn’
t a medical resident arranged 
for by my mother’
s doctor. The sperm donor was my 
mother’
s doctor, a well-regarded OB-GYN who prac-
ticed at Detroit-area hospitals from the 1930s-1960s. 
As I recently learned through the Detroit Jewish 
News Foundation’
s William Davidson Digital 
Archive of Jewish Detroit History, he also was a 
member of many local Jewish organizations.
I took the Ancestry DNA test several years ago. 
With two Jewish parents, I was curious about my 
percentage of Jewish heritage going back through 
generations and was hoping to learn about distant 
relatives to fill out my family tree.
Plenty of people showed up: a few close family 
members whose names I recognized and several 
thousand second-, third- and fourth-to-sixth cousins 
who remain a mystery. 
I attributed this massive number of cousins to 
Eastern European Jews living within the Pale of 
Settlement who married not only other Jews but often 
within their own families. As a result, Ashkenazi Jews 
like me share more DNA with one another than do 
average populations (a concept known as endogamy). 
Our shared DNA often comes from multiple shared 
ancestors and makes us look more closely related in a 
familial way than we actually are.

As in Shapiro’
s memoir, Inheritance, a first cousin 
whose name I did not recognize suddenly appeared 
on my Ancestry DNA list. This individual contacted 
me through the site, asking if my mother had diffi-
culty getting pregnant and the name of the obstetri-
cian who had delivered me. 
When I supplied the doctor’
s name, I was told he 
was a grandfather to this individual, making this per-
son’
s parent my half-sibling. According to DNA rela-
tionship charts, first cousins share the same amount 
of DNA as do half-aunts/half-uncles with half-niec-
es/half-nephews. 
The only way our shared DNA makes sense, I was 
informed, “is that my grandfather is your biological 
father. No doubt about it, and probably involving 
in vivo fertilization [of an egg within a uterus]. My 
grandfather was probably experimenting with what 
was then a new procedure using his own sperm.”
I brushed it off, attributing the considerable 
amount of DNA we shared to Jewish endogamy. At 
the time, I didn’
t know nor want to accept that DNA 
results are actually 100 percent accurate among close 
Jewish relatives. 
“Don’
t contact me again,” I said, feeling very unset-
tled, even more so when this individual’
s parent 
showed up on Ancestry DNA as my half-sibling. 
I decided the only way to prove that my dad was in 
fact my biological father was to have a close relative 
on his side of the family take an Ancestry DNA test. 
A paternal first cousin agreed to do so, but when the 
Ancestry DNA results came in, we were not a match at 
all. All the relatives on my dad’
s side of the family who 
showed up on my cousin’
s list were absent from mine.
This was when devastation — and six months of 
sleepless nights — set in. 
What had happened? Did my parents know? And 
if so, why hadn’
t I been told about the circumstances 
surrounding my birth? How could I not share DNA 
with the father I adore?
Furthermore, who was I really? Who were the peo-
ple I biologically descended from? What was my real 

health history?
My identity felt shattered.

COMING TO UNDERSTAND
True, what happened to me occurred in an era 
when the shame surrounding infertility was intense. 
Additionally, doctors often were looked upon as gods. 
They didn’
t have to explain and patients didn’
t ques-
tion, especially when the physician was well-respected 
in his field. 
“
A practice of the day was to mix donor sperm with 
the intended father’
s sperm to keep alive the possibil-
ity that the child was biologically his,” Dani Shapiro 
wrote in an article for Time magazine. “There was 
a commonly used term for this: ‘
confused artificial 
insemination.’
 
“Back then, the medical establishment took great 
pains to allow couples to believe what they wanted 
about what [the doctors] were doing. Couples were 
often told to have sex before and after the procedure to 
further the sense that the husband could be the father. 
“Once a woman had become pregnant, the couple 
might be told that her blood levels showed she must 
have already been pregnant.” 
Eventually, a relative was able to confirm that my 
parents had indeed grappled with fertility issues that 
had been resolved with in vivo fertilization using my 
dad’
s sperm. I asked if donor sperm was involved as 
well. “The doctor just told your mother he would take 
care of it,” was the response. I am certain my mom 
would not have asked further questions of any doctor. 
In the end, I am convinced that neither of my par-
ents knew the truth about my biological father, who, 
in my opinion, handled the procedure in an unethical 
and short-sighted manner, and on a still-unknown 
number of patients. 
For him, the thought of readily available at-home 
DNA tests was unimaginable. But did he not think 
about the consequences of his actions? Did he con-
sider the possibility that patients he had inseminated 
with his own sperm could have offspring — half-sib-
lings — who could fall in love and marry and have 
children of their own? 
And exactly how many half-siblings who have not 
been DNA tested do I have? 
I recently took a 23andMe DNA test, which 
revealed another half-sibling — six years younger 
than I — outside the doctor’
s nuclear family. As more 
and more people take these tests, there could be more 
unexpected and jarring revelations.
So how have I started to heal? 
Getting support from my spouse, a few close family 
members and friends, and someone whose spiritual 
insights I value and appreciate. 
Sharing the truth with my children, who have the 
right to know about their origins. 
Realizing I am not alone: Home DNA tests now 
warn users they could be in for some surprises, and 
multiple stories similar to mine come out in the media 
every week.
Most important, feeling gratitude I was raised by an 
incredible dad. “I will love you forever,” he told me. I 
will love him forever, too. ■

DNA Revelation

Detroiter’
s at-home 
genetic test uncovers 
unsettling results.

