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views

T

he Jewish community is con-
stantly trying to figure out how 
to engage the next generation 
in terms of their Jewish identity, Israel, 
in-marrying, donating to communal 
institutions, raising 
Jewish families and con-
necting to community.
Rightfully so. This 
group is our future. If we 
want to ensure a strong 
Jewish community 10, 
20, or 30 years down the 
road, we need to make 
sure the next generation 
— whether they are teens or in their 20s 
or 30s — are connected in some man-
ner to their Jewish community. Many 
realize this group will not engage with 
traditional Jewish institutions. They have 
multiple identities and being Jewish may 
be only one of many and a lot of think-
ing is going into trying to meet the next 
generation where they are.
A lot of energy, focus and funding is 
directed to the young adult population, 
offering low cost or minimal participa-
tion fees from participants. Everyone 
is searching for the magic formula to 
engage Millennials, Generation Y-ers 
and Generation Z-ers.
Maybe it is connecting young adults to 
Israel/Jewish identity with a free trip to 
Israel. There is a free 10-day trip through 
Birthright Israel for those age 18-26 and 
more recently for those age 27-32. There 
is Honeymoon Israel, a nine-day trip 

for young couples 25-40, or highly sub-
sidized trips to Israel through Onward 
Israel for college-aged students, just to 
name a few.
Maybe it is a cheap place to live and 
have gatherings for your friends and 
social network. There is Moishe House 
for young adults in their 20s offering 
subsidized housing for putting together 
peer programing or One Table for folks 
in their 20s and 30s to either host or 
experience Shabbat dinners where they 
can “step back, connect with others, have 
moments of mindfulness and enjoy great 
meals on a Friday night.
”
Maybe it is involving young adults 
through service opportunities. There is 
Repair the World which, “makes mean-
ingful service a defining element of 
American Jewish life.
” 
These are all wonderful and important 
programs. Each has a goal and seems to 
be successful. Many are helping young 
Jews explore and develop a Jewish iden-
tity, meet others their own age and find a 
sense of community.
These are just a few national and 
international programs. In addition, a lot 
is being done in individual communities 
trying to target the next generation of 
young adults, whether it is through a 
federation, JCC, synagogue or other local 
program. 
What is interesting is that so much 
effort is focused on the next generation, 
that those age 45+ seem to be a forgotten 
constituency. 

According to the American Jewish 
Population Project, 63 percent of 
American Jews are over the age of 45. 
There isn’
t a whole lot of investment in 
this older group. While those over age 45 
may have younger kids, many have kids 
that are finishing high school or are off 
at college or are empty nesters. It seems 
this is a missed opportunity on many 
levels. Many in this population may 
have no more bar/bat mitzvah lessons, 
no more frequent synagogue attendance 
in preparation for a life-cycle event, no 
family Shabbat dinners because the kids 
are out of the house.
It seems that living a Jewish life is 
easier if one has children living at home. 
Holiday programming and celebrations 
seem to be geared to families, and more 
so for those with younger children. If 
one is single, divorced, widowed, one 
can feel excluded. I have found that 
being divorced and an empty nester 
makes it much harder for me to feel part 
of a larger Jewish community. I have 
many friends in a similar situation; they 
often ask me why don’
t synagogues have 
Shabbat dinners for empty nesters? Why 
doesn’
t federation have programming 
for singles over 50 and only have singles 
events for those under 40? Why do the 
volunteer service opportunities target 
families with children or young adult 
professionals?
From a communal perspective, maybe 
we should be paying more attention to 
those asking these questions. 
There are also many people who 
are not affiliated with synagogues, 
especially if they do not have children 
living at home or never had children. 
Those in this demographic are often at 
a successful stage in their careers, have 
a professional network, have the time to 

engage and get involved with different 
organizations, and may have the dispos-
able income to be investors in our com-
munities. We should be trying to engage 
and connect this group with their Jewish 
identity. 
The average life expectancy of adults 
in the U.S. is 76 years for men; 81 years 
for women. Many people live well into 
their 80s and 90s. Many seniors face 
mental health issues, loneliness or social 
isolation. Thank goodness there are 
some programs like congregate meals 
sites or senior programming that help 
seniors retain a sense of community. 
What if we try to create a sense of Jewish 
community for people while they are in 
their mid-life? If they develop a network, 
find a way to connect and remain con-
nected to the Jewish community, maybe 
they won’
t need as many services when 
they age.
There is so much talk about inclusion 
in the Jewish community. What about 
making those over age 45 feel included? 
Of course, it is difficult to meet all the 
needs in a community, especially when 
financial and human resources are lim-
ited for many of our Jewish communal 
organizations. Ensuring the future of the 
Jewish community is of key importance. 
One way to enhance life for many in the 
Jewish community would be to offer 
programs geared at those that belong 
to the 45+ demographic that has been 
neglected since most everyone is focus-
ing on the next generation. ■

Dahlia Bendavid is the Israel and overseas direc-
tor of the Greater Miami Jewish Federation. 
This essay was first published on 

ejewishphilathropy.com.

commentary
Over 45 and Invisible

Dahlia 
 
Bendavid

