44 February 28 • 2019
jn
D
o you have a mentor? It’
s
important to be able to answer
that question. I can’
t remember
a time when I didn’
t have someone
speaking influentially in my life. I
look back and think of my mother,
who always told me how important
constructive feedback is. Or my Aunt
Mooney, who caught me throwing a
dirty penny away and
taught me the value
of money and how
eventually over time it
all compounds.
My parents always
told me that I should
be able to learn from
anyone I encounter,
regardless of their age. As I grew older,
my grandfather told me to tap into my
entrepreneurial spirit, and my business
coach for 13 years, Jules Rapport — may
he rest in peace — constantly challenged
me to control my own destiny and
pushed me to start my own business.
I could go on forever about the people
who have graciously added to my life
and encouraged me with tidbits of
wisdom. But, most importantly, I want
you to see that mentors have changed
and continue to change my life.
We all need mentors. We all need
people in our lives to help us see what
we’
re missing. These mentors are the
type of people who can feel the hope
we have in our hearts and help us bring
those dreams to life.
Kathy E. Kram, the Shipley Professor
in Management at the Boston University
School of Management and author of
Mentoring at Work, told the Harvard
Business Review, “We used to think it
was people at early stages of their career
who needed mentoring, those just out of
M.B.A. programs. Now we understand
that people at every stage benefit from
this kind of assistance.
”
Our mentors help us tap into and
reach the potential that lies within
us all, by encouraging us to find the
inspirational story that inhabits us and
bring it to reality. Most importantly,
these people should be those who are
fulfilled by mentoring another person.
Naturally, you may wonder where to
start. You may be asking how you might
go about picking a mentor to help guide
you. Here are five steps to finding the
right mentor. Find that person who will
help you reach your highest potential
and stay on the road to success, the one
paved with continual growth and self-
fulfillment.
STEP 1: IDENTIFY WHERE YOU ARE
STUCK AND WHERE YOU NEED TO GROW.
Sometimes you can put your finger on
this and sometimes you can’
t. You may
be saying to yourself, “Jon, that’
s why
I need a mentor, to help me with step
one.” That is understandable and can
be paralyzing at first, but a mentor will
never fully work unless you do some of
the upfront work. You must take some
time to determine where you currently
are. Where is your current state and
where do you want to be? Get centered
and determine your end goal. As you
reverse engineer your goal(s), do your
best to determine where you feel you
need to grow the most.
Challenge: Make a list of the top
three areas where you are stuck. Next
to that list, write out where you want
to be one year from today.
STEP 2: PICK YOUR FIRST
OR NEXT MENTOR(S).
I am a firm believer that everyone
should have no fewer than three
mentors. Many times, your mentors
are around you and you don’
t even
know it. You can find mentors at work
— those who excel in their position
and are ahead of you in their career.
Also, you could find a mentor among
your friends, acquaintances and family.
This is a place people forget to look
for mentors because of the vulnerable
elements of knowing each other so well,
but great mentors can be found in these
groups.
Challenge: Make a list of five people
you would want as a mentor. Next to
each of them, write out what each of
them can help you with and how they
can help you grow.
STEP 3: ASK YOUR MENTOR
TO BE YOUR MENTOR.
This step can be the scary part and
the part where people begin to resist
the process. Don’
t hesitate. Commit to
having and getting three mentors in
your life. Whether it is for business, life,
health or your spiritual life. Nothing is
off limits.
Challenge: Call or email at least one
of the mentors of your choice. Ask them
to go for coffee, but make sure to have a
conversation on the phone to let them
know why you are calling. Be very direct.
Let them know you are looking to grow
by having a mentor and you were hoping
they could mentor you in whatever area
you think they’
d serve you best.
STEP 4: COMMIT TO THE PROCESS.
Once you get mentors, you must
commit to the process. Utilize them
as resources, set up a consistent
time to meet and talk to them, and
surrender to being open and coachable
to their mentoring. According to a
2013 Executive Leadership Survey
by Stanford University, 94 percent of
CEOs and senior executives said they
either strongly agreed or agreed with
the statement, “I enjoy the process
of receiving coaching and leadership
advice.
” Committing to the process will
create a positive impact on your business
and improve your well-being.
STEP 5: DON’
T STOP SHOWING
YOUR APPRECIATION.
If someone is taking the time to mentor
you, don’
t forget to say thank you and
express your gratitude on a consistent
basis.
As Jim Rohn is known for saying,
“You are the average of the five people
you spend the most time with.
” Choose
wisely because your business matters! ■
Jon Dwoskin is a business coach and executive
adviser who grows businesses. He is the author
of “The Think Big Movement.”
Visit jondwoskin.com for more or email him
at jon@jondwoskin.com.
Jon Dwoskin
Get a Mentor…
Stuck?