44 February 28 • 2019
jn

D

o you have a mentor? It’
s 
important to be able to answer 
that question. I can’
t remember 
a time when I didn’
t have someone 
speaking influentially in my life. I 
look back and think of my mother, 
who always told me how important 
constructive feedback is. Or my Aunt 
Mooney, who caught me throwing a 
dirty penny away and 
taught me the value 
of money and how 
eventually over time it 
all compounds. 
My parents always 
told me that I should 
be able to learn from 
anyone I encounter, 
regardless of their age. As I grew older, 
my grandfather told me to tap into my 
entrepreneurial spirit, and my business 
coach for 13 years, Jules Rapport — may 
he rest in peace — constantly challenged 
me to control my own destiny and 
pushed me to start my own business. 
I could go on forever about the people 
who have graciously added to my life 
and encouraged me with tidbits of 
wisdom. But, most importantly, I want 
you to see that mentors have changed 
and continue to change my life. 
We all need mentors. We all need 
people in our lives to help us see what 
we’
re missing. These mentors are the 
type of people who can feel the hope 
we have in our hearts and help us bring 
those dreams to life. 
Kathy E. Kram, the Shipley Professor 
in Management at the Boston University 
School of Management and author of 
Mentoring at Work, told the Harvard 
Business Review, “We used to think it 
was people at early stages of their career 
who needed mentoring, those just out of 
M.B.A. programs. Now we understand 
that people at every stage benefit from 
this kind of assistance.
” 
Our mentors help us tap into and 
reach the potential that lies within 
us all, by encouraging us to find the 
inspirational story that inhabits us and 
bring it to reality. Most importantly, 
these people should be those who are 
fulfilled by mentoring another person. 
Naturally, you may wonder where to 
start. You may be asking how you might 
go about picking a mentor to help guide 
you. Here are five steps to finding the 
right mentor. Find that person who will 
help you reach your highest potential 
and stay on the road to success, the one 

paved with continual growth and self-
fulfillment. 

STEP 1: IDENTIFY WHERE YOU ARE 
STUCK AND WHERE YOU NEED TO GROW.
Sometimes you can put your finger on 
this and sometimes you can’
t. You may 
be saying to yourself, “Jon, that’
s why 
I need a mentor, to help me with step 
one.” That is understandable and can 
be paralyzing at first, but a mentor will 
never fully work unless you do some of 
the upfront work. You must take some 
time to determine where you currently 
are. Where is your current state and 
where do you want to be? Get centered 
and determine your end goal. As you 
reverse engineer your goal(s), do your 
best to determine where you feel you 
need to grow the most. 
 Challenge: Make a list of the top 
three areas where you are stuck. Next 
to that list, write out where you want 
to be one year from today. 

STEP 2: PICK YOUR FIRST 
OR NEXT MENTOR(S).
I am a firm believer that everyone 
should have no fewer than three 
mentors. Many times, your mentors 
are around you and you don’
t even 
know it. You can find mentors at work 
— those who excel in their position 

and are ahead of you in their career. 
Also, you could find a mentor among 
your friends, acquaintances and family. 
This is a place people forget to look 
for mentors because of the vulnerable 
elements of knowing each other so well, 
but great mentors can be found in these 
groups. 
 Challenge: Make a list of five people 
you would want as a mentor. Next to 
each of them, write out what each of 
them can help you with and how they 
can help you grow. 

STEP 3: ASK YOUR MENTOR
TO BE YOUR MENTOR. 
This step can be the scary part and 
the part where people begin to resist 
the process. Don’
t hesitate. Commit to 
having and getting three mentors in 
your life. Whether it is for business, life, 
health or your spiritual life. Nothing is 
off limits. 
 Challenge: Call or email at least one 
of the mentors of your choice. Ask them 
to go for coffee, but make sure to have a 
conversation on the phone to let them 
know why you are calling. Be very direct. 
Let them know you are looking to grow 
by having a mentor and you were hoping 
they could mentor you in whatever area 
you think they’
d serve you best. 

STEP 4: COMMIT TO THE PROCESS. 
Once you get mentors, you must 
commit to the process. Utilize them 
as resources, set up a consistent 
time to meet and talk to them, and 
surrender to being open and coachable 
to their mentoring. According to a 
2013 Executive Leadership Survey 
by Stanford University, 94 percent of 
CEOs and senior executives said they 
either strongly agreed or agreed with 
the statement, “I enjoy the process 
of receiving coaching and leadership 
advice.
” Committing to the process will 
create a positive impact on your business 
and improve your well-being. 

STEP 5: DON’
T STOP SHOWING 
YOUR APPRECIATION. 
If someone is taking the time to mentor 
you, don’
t forget to say thank you and 
express your gratitude on a consistent 
basis. 
As Jim Rohn is known for saying, 
“You are the average of the five people 
you spend the most time with.
” Choose 
wisely because your business matters! ■

Jon Dwoskin is a business coach and executive 
adviser who grows businesses. He is the author 
of “The Think Big Movement.”
Visit jondwoskin.com for more or email him 
at jon@jondwoskin.com.

Jon Dwoskin

Get a Mentor…
Stuck?

