February 7 • 2019 5
jn

I 

hope you came away from last 
week’
s Polar Vortex (PV) unscathed. 
Polar Vortex — sounds like some-
thing your chiropractor would work 
on. “Say, Bob, why are you walking 
bent over like that?” Replies Bob, “Well 
gee, Sally, I strained 
my darn Polar Vortex 
again. I keep forget-
ting to bend my knees 
when lifting things.
”
I don’
t want to 
diminish the severity of 
the arrival of last week’
s 
PV
. It was brutal and 
downright dangerous. 
As I’
m writing this (right in the middle 
of the PV), the temperature reading 
on my iPhone says it’
s minus 7 degrees 
with a windchill that feels like minus 
29. Hard to believe because when I 
brought our garbage cans in a few min-
utes ago I could have sworn it felt like it 
was only minus 10 degrees. Then again, 
it was a dry cold.
While, obviously, the Polar Vortex 
contributed to a couple of newsworthy, 
absurdly cold days, I still get a kick out 
of the shock and awe we exhibit when 
a winter event arrives in Michigan. 
We so often act like we’
ve never been 
through this before. Every year, with-
out fail, local news sends out camera 
crews to capture the winter season’
s 
first quarter-inch snowfall as if it were 
Armageddon. 
I’
m writing this in advance of know-
ing how cold it ended up getting, but 
record wind chills we’
re predicted; 
minus 40 degrees by some reports. 
But, really, how cold was it? As Johnny 
Carson might say: “It was so cold 
it broke the record windchill that 
occurred during the last face-to-face 
meeting between President Trump and 
Nancy Pelosi.
” (Insert drum rim shot.)

Well, it was so cold the state of 
Michigan experienced a government 
shutdown of its own last Wednesday 
and Thursday due to the frigid temps. 
So, just like our federal government, the 
state had to wait to reopen before con-
tinuing to get nothing done.
I don’
t think anyone has ever official-
ly figured out what temperature would 
be required to have hell freeze over. We 
really don’
t need a specific tempera-
ture. Just wait for the Lions to make it 
to the Super Bowl and you’
ll know. (I 
think worthy of another rim shot.) On 
second thought, we’
ll know when the 
Lions win their next playoff game.
Most of our state’
s colleges suspended 
classes last Wednesday. For Michigan 
State, my alma mater, founded in 1855, 
it was only the seventh time classes had 
been canceled in the school’
s 164-year 
history. 
One day I hope my grandkids will 
gather round my rocking chair as I 
share the story of how Poppa Al sur-
vived the third time MSU called off 
school and for two days no less! It was 
just over 41 years ago, Jan. 26-27, 1978.
I was a senior at MSU, living in a 
house on Mac Avenue in East Lansing. 
My roommate, Rex Rosenhaus, was out 
of town and left me in charge of our 
third and fourth roommates — Christy, 

Rex’
s sweetheart of a golden retriever, 
and his 17-year old cat Shadow, the 
anti-sweetheart.
Shadow wasn’
t friendly; an absolute 
sourpuss. How mean was she? She lived 
to be 27 years old just to spite every-
body. But I digress. 
It snowed 24 inches in East Lansing 
over the course of those fateful two 
days in January. I didn’
t take one math 
class in five years at MSU, but I knew 
that 24 inches of snow was something 
like 2-feet deep.
The Blizzard of ’
78 caught me off 
guard. Lacking proper rations — pizza, 
pop and candy — Christy and I set off 
on a 2-mile roundtrip trek to the 7-11. 
Walking through 2 feet of snow for 
over two hours was in a word — stu-
pid. But it allowed me to lose enough 
weight to justify eating all the junk food 
I bought. 
However, I learned a big lesson that 
day. It’
s not a good idea to take a dog 
that measures 23 inches high on a walk 
in 24 inches of snow. I’
m not sure how 
much weight Christy lost, but by the 
time we got back home, after two hours 
of her hopping up and down through 
snow drifts, she was the size of a lap-
dog.
And Shadow the cat? Upon my arriv-
al home, she rolled her eyes and hissed 
at my exhausted state as to say, “What 
a moron.
” For a moment, I thought 
of taking a 5-inch tall cat for a walk 
in 24 inches of snow … but I realized 
Shadow was right. 
Hang in there, everybody, only 40 
days until spring! But, hopefully, not 
like the spring of 1886. That’
s the year 
of the largest single day of snowfall in 
Detroit history: 24.5 inches on April 6, 
1886. All one-room school houses were 
closed for the day. ■

Alan Muskovitz is a writer, voice-over/acting 
talent, speaker, emcee and an occasional 
guest host on the Mitch Albom Show on WJR 
AM 760. Visit his website at laughwithbigal.

com and “Like” Al on Facebook.

views

for starters
Brr!

letters

Alan Muskovitz

Alan’
s college home during the

 blizzard of 1978

Israel with Sar-El
I recently returned from a week in Israel 
on a program called “Volunteers for Is-
rael” or Sar-El. This was my second year 
in a row on an IDF base. What a unique 
experience to be with 15-20 men and 
women from around the world, living 
with Israeli soldiers and airmen. 
Why were we there? To do non-mil-
itary tasks, so that the military can 
focus on their essential jobs. We packed 

backpacks with supplies. We sorted 
clothing. We organized warehouses. We 
worked in the kitchen, and more …
I have been to Israel more than 10 
times, but these last two experiences 
with Sar-El have deepened my identity 
with this amazing country in a way like 
never before. 
Volunteers for Israel – USA (VFI-
USA) is associated with Sar-El, an 
Israeli nonprofit, which administers 

the program.Volunteers typically spend 
two or three weeks living and working 
alongside Israelis at an army base, IDF 
warehouse or service base. VFI/ Sar-El 
Great Lakes regional directors are Carol 
Kent and Ed Kohl. For information, 
call or email Kent or Kohl at (248) 420-
3729; email michigan@vfi-usa.org or 
visit vfi-usa.org.

— John Marx

West Bloomfield 

My Story
My Story

Click. Call. Give Now. 
www.hfldetroit.org • 248.723.8184

Hebrew Free Loan Detroit

6735 Telegraph Road, Suite 300 • Bloomfield Hills, MI 48301

@HFLDetroit

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Then, as Bret and his wife were
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While researching business funding
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Bret says HFL is a resource that
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Community donations help HFL
give interest-free loans to local Jews
for a variety of personal, health,
educational and small business
needs.

