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Lessons Learned From Receiving

O

ne annoying thing about being
a writer is that when you’re
in the middle of experiencing
something, there’s always going to be
people saying to you
“Well, now you’ll have
something new to write
about!”
Even more annoy-
ing: They’re right! I
recently had a painful
Rochel Burstyn surgery (all better
now though, yay!)
and decided to share
Three Things I Learned:

1. Every single phone call, card, text,
email and message is SO appreciated.
The emotional balm of being remem-
bered and cared for is so reassuring and
conducive to healing — and likewise,
the emotional pain of feeling that no
one cares can actually make physical
pain worse. Actual visits are the best
though; knowing someone took time
out from their busy day just to sit and
talk to me was so touching. There’s a
Jewish thought that says that bikkur
cholim (visiting the sick) actually takes
away 1/60th of the sick person’s illness.
I believe it. The difference after a good
visit on a bad day was huge.

2. “Let me know what I can do for
you” is a bit of a tricky tightrope. Of
course, people mean it; they’re happy
to help. But what if all you’re hankering
for is a back massage? That’s what hap-
pened to me. My back hurt so much,
I was desperate and begging everyone,
anyone to please, pleaaaaase massage

My Story

my back. (I got some funny looks from
the UPS guy!) My mother-in-law, angel
that she is, did it often, not even getting
annoyed with my “Up, down, left, right
there, no, wait, up again, no wait down,
up, right …” directions like everyone
else did.
The other thing I was secretly long-
ing for? Pancakes — the ultimate com-
fort food! I felt like such a spoiled brat
even thinking about it while I was get-
ting all kinds of gourmet dinners deliv-
ered to my door every afternoon. But I
shared my secret craving with my sister
who let people know, and boom — my
lovely aunt had a batch at my door with
a jar of maple syrup. The next week it
was my awesome friend Bluma.
The takeaway? Think outside the
box! It can be super awkward for some-
one in a vulnerable position to share
what they really, really want, worrying
they might be taking advantage of peo-
ple. (Takeaway message No. 2: Don’t
tell my sister your secret craving or she
might put it on Facebook!)

3. What goes around doesn’t always
come around in the way we expect
or hope. So many people gave to
my family and me — carpool rides,
babysitting, meals, visits, errands,
pancakes, etc. How do I repay them
all? The truth: I can’t. Sure, I could
make them dinner when I’m back up
and running; but if they don’t need
it, what’s the point? Instead, when I
next hear about folks going through
a challenging time, it’s my turn to
step up to the plate, whether I’m
friends with them or not, passing on
the chessed (kindness), helping them
out. And once they’ve recovered, I
don’t need payment or thank-you
cards either. They just need to pass it
on and, in that way, our community
is constantly rippling with the giving
and taking of goodness and kind-
ness, with everyone helping each
other out when its needed, paying it
forward and making our community
a better, happier and warmer place
for everyone. ■

Michigan and Minnesota is palpable.

ing season. Most inspiring was the
dedication of volunteers led by Terry
Hollander, Brenda Brook, Helayne
Kaplan, Jennifer LoPatin, Susan Lutz,
and Sandi Matz. Most of the events
were free and offered opportunities
to hear gifted, articulate writers for
12 days, morning, noon and night!
Profound thanks to the sponsors and
underwriters who create this joyous
reading festival for the community.

letters

Democratic House
Not Good for Israel

Regarding the commentary by
Michael Koplow, “What Does A
Democratic House Mean For Israel?”
(Nov. 15, page 6), how shall I put this
diplomatically?
His answer was like putting lipstick
and a dress on a pig. Please do not
insult our intelligence. The vitriol
spewing forth from the Democrats
toward Israel and from the two
newly elected congresswomen from

Jordana Wolfson is a clinical
social worker who worked for a
long time in Jewish education.
“As a school principal, I loved
working with children,” Jordana said.
“Despite that, in the corner of my
mind, I always wanted to go back and
open a practice. Then, I was sitting
in a workshop, getting continuing
education credits to keep up my
license, and one of the speakers said
that social workers rarely think of
themselves as entrepreneurs, and
we should consider how we can
build a business out of what we love.
That spoke to me.”
Jordana launched Co-Parenting
Solutions based on some of the
interactions she saw daily with the
school children. Certified in divorce
mediation, Jordana works mostly
with divorcing parents to adjust
their dynamics and co-parent
without going down a negative path.
Jordana approached Hebrew
Free Loan’s Marvin I. Danto Small
Business Loan Program for help
with startup costs.
“I was excited to get started, and
my husband had just finished an
expansion of his business, so the
cash on hand just wasn’t there. I
knew it would be, but I didn’t want
to wait,” Jordana said. ”HFL was
respectful and supportive. Because
of them, I was able to promote
myself with a logo, brochure, launch
my website, get ads into different
markets, and fund other things
until I got going. HFL and my drive
to succeed helped me take off
quickly. I’m now helping divorcing
parents keep their kids develop-
mentally healthy.“

Click. Call. Give Now.

— Robert Bodack
Farmington Hills

Thankful for Book Fair

If ever there was an upside to an
enforced longer stay in Michigan
this season it was attending the
Jewish Book Fair. What a spectac-
ular gathering of authors and what
a treasury of books to peruse and
purchase. Book clubs will have no
shortage of choices for the com-

— Edie Broida
Farmington Hills

www.hfldetroit.org • 248.723.8184

Community donations help HFL
give interest-free loans to local Jews
for a variety of personal, health,
educational and small business
needs.

6735 Telegraph Road, Suite 300 • Bloomfield Hills, MI 48301

Hebrew Free Loan Detroit

@HFLDetroit

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jn

November 29 • 2018

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