views
guest column
Th e Conversation About
Th e Birthrate Conversation
A
s I shared last
week in the
Torah por-
tion for JN, for the first
time since he came to
America nearly 70 years
ago, my 98-year-old
grandfather spoke to a
group of adults about
his life before, during
Rabbi Aaron
and after the Shoah of
Starr
World War II. He was
the youngest of six
siblings. He had nine
aunts and uncles. All
in all, there were 60-70 members of his
family. Most of them were sent to the gas
chambers.
One hundred people at Congregation
Shaarey Zedek gave of their time to hear
about the life of their rabbi’s grandfa-
ther. For my grandfather, and thus for
me as well, the telling of the story was
personal. “I know I will not be here for-
ever,” Grandpa explained. “I would like
my children, grandchildren and great-
grandchildren to know a little about my
life … I am writing because I would like
my family to know who I was when I was
young … until now.”
One member of the synagogue, how-
ever, heard a different message. In an
email to me following the presentation,
this person wrote,
“It was a pleasure hearing your grandfa-
ther speak Thursday night. What a story!
His talk provoked the following question:
[Your grandfather], one of six siblings, had
three children, the first of whom was born
in a Displaced Persons camp. His three
children produced four children, one of
whom is you. That is a fertility rate of 1.3.
Your generation — and I assume they are
all 40-something like yourself — has pro-
duced four great-grandchildren. That is a
fertility rate of 1.0. It takes a fertility rate of
2.1 to maintain a population. As you know,
the intermarriage rate among so-called
Progressive Jews is running at 70 percent.
At that rate, three of [your grandfather’s]
four great-grandchildren will marry
non-Jewish spouses … As you have great
admiration for your grandfather and the
journey he has taken, I wonder whether
you and the other three members of your
generation have given thought to any obli-
gation you may have for the preservation
of his family and of the Jewish people?”
Of course, the phrasing of this person’s
question is insulting. Have I given any
thought to the obligation I might have
“for the preservation of [my grandfa-
ther’s] family and of the Jewish people?”
In choosing the rabbinate, I have dedi-
cated my life to the strengthening of
Judaism and the continuity of the Jewish
people. As a grandson, I commit tre-
mendous time — as a labor of love — to
strengthening the intergenerational
connections among my family and, as a
father, I speak regularly with my children
about their obligation to marry someone
Jewish and to raise Jewish children. To
suggest that my generation’s birthrate
demonstrates a lack of commitment to
the obligation I have for the preserva-
tion of family and of the Jewish people is
offensive.
Yet, while this person’s commentary
was incendiary, there is statistical truth
to part of his message.
If non-Orthodox Jewry in America
seeks to perpetuate itself for generations
to come — and I believe non-Orthodox
Judaism is worthy of perpetuation —
then non-Orthodox Jews must increase
their birthrate (and certainly their prac-
tice and affiliation as well).
The numbers speak for themselves.
“If current trends continue,” write Ari
Feldman and Laura E. Adkins in the
Forward, “the Reform and Conservative
movements will soon see a signifi-
cant collapse in what the [Pew Study]
researchers term the ‘leadership age-
group,’ people aged 30-69 who are most
likely to serve as vital community-
sustaining lay leaders and donors. This
group could lose more than two-thirds of
its current size over the next 80 years.”
While the solution of increasing the
birthrate by simply having more chil-
dren is an easy one for a baby boomer to
write from the comfort of his home, the
question remains: How do we effectively
engage young Gen-Xers ( for whom the
ship may have sailed already on hav-
ing more children) and, even more so,
millennials, in the conversation about
producing more Jewish children? That
is to say, in order to engage others in a
compassionate and respectful conversa-
tion about fertility, Jewish leaders con-
cerned about the future of non-Orthodox
Judaism must first have a conversation
about how to have that conversation.
THE CONVERSATION IS DIFFICULT
After all, we in the non-Orthodox world
support a woman’s right to work fulltime
outside of the home and — if we are
being frank — when both adults work
in a household, it affects in a variety of
ways a couple’s ability to conceive and to
raise additional children. Also, people are
waiting longer to marry and to have chil-
dren, which in turn affects their window
of reproduction.
Additionally, and I have no data to
support this intuition, it seems to me
that reproduction is a greater challenge
today than it has been since the times of
Abraham and Sarah, Isaac and Rebecca,
and Jacob and Rachel: all of whom
struggled to conceive. We see from the
example of our ancestors, but also from
the very real struggles of friends and
family members, that infertility in a soci-
ety that assumes married couples have
children can affect an individual’s mental
health; can affect the strength of a mar-
riage; leaves many couples feeling left out
of shared experiences with friends; ren-
ders one somewhat disconnected from
the normal entry points of synagogue life
and community; and can cause lasting
strife with a married couple’s parents,
aunt and uncles, grandparents, rab-
bis and even the stranger passing on
the street asking the terrible question,
“Nu, when are you going to have a baby
already?”
Non-Orthodox communities are
blessedly working hard to welcome the
intermarried, LGBTQ+, interracial and
continued on page 10
Contributing Writers:
Ruthan Brodsky, Rochel Burstyn, Suzanne
Chessler, Annabel Cohen, Don Cohen, Shari
S. Cohen, Shelli Liebman Dorfman, Adam
Finkel, Stacy Gittleman, Stacy Goldberg, Judy
Greenwald, Ronelle Grier, Esther Allweiss
Ingber, Allison Jacobs, Barbara Lewis, Jennifer
Lovy, Rabbi Jason Miller, Alan Muskovitz,
David Sachs, Karen Schwartz, Robin Schwartz,
Steve Stein, Joyce Wiswell
Arthur M. Horwitz
Publisher / Executive Editor
ahorwitz@renmedia.us
F. Kevin Browett
Chief Operating Officer
kbrowett@renmedia.us
| Editorial
Managing Editor: Jackie Headapohl
jheadapohl@renmedia.us
Story Development Editor:
Keri Guten Cohen
kcohen@renmedia.us
Arts & Life Editor: Lynne Konstantin
lkonstantin@renmedia.us
Digital/Social Media Editor:
Hannah Levine
hlevine@renmedia.us
Editorial Assistant: Sy Manello
smanello@renmedia.us
Senior Columnist: Danny Raskin
dannyraskin2132@gmail.com
Contributing Editor: Robert Sklar
rsklar@renmedia.us
| Advertising Sales
Sales Director: Keith Farber
kfarber@renmedia.us
Account Executives :
Martin Chumiecki, Wendy Flusty,
Annette Kizy
| Business Offices
Billing Coordinator: Pamela Turner
| Operations Manager
Tara Lennon
tlennon@renmedia.us
| Production By
FARAGO & ASSOCIATES
Manager: Scott Drzewiecki
Designers: Kelly Kosek, Amy Pollard,
Michelle Sheridan, Susan Walker
| Detroit Jewish News
Chairman: Michael H. Steinhardt
President/Publisher: Arthur M. Horwitz
ahorwitz@renmedia.us
Chief Operating Officer: F. Kevin Browett
kbrowett@renmedia.us
Controller: Craig R. Phipps
| Departments
General Offi ces: 248-354-6060
Advertising: 248-351-5107
Advertising Fax: 248-304-0049
Circulation: 248-234-9057
Classifi ed Ads: 248-234-9057
Advertising Deadline: Friday, 2 p.m.
Editorial Fax: 248-304-8885
Deadline: All public and social
announcements must be typewritten
and received by noon Tuesday, nine days
prior to desired date of publication.
Subscriptions:
1 year. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . $85
2 years . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .$153
3 years . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .$204
1 year out-of-state . . . . . . . . . . .$125
2 years out-of-state . . . . . . . . . .$225
Per year foreign . . . . . . . . . . . . .$300
Detroit Jewish News
29200 Northwestern Highway, Suite 110
Southfi eld, MI 48034
©copyright 2018 Detroit Jewish News
The Detroit Jewish News (USPS 275-520) is
published every Thursday at 29200 Northwestern
Highway, #110, Southfield, Michigan. Periodical
postage paid at Southfield, Michigan, and
additional mailing offices. Postmaster: send
changes to: Detroit Jewish News, 29200
Northwestern Hwy., #110, Southfield, MI 48034.
To make a donation to the
DETROIT JEWISH NEWS
FOUNDATION
go to the website
www.djnfounadtion.org
OUR JN The Jewish News aspires to communicate news and opinion that’s useful, engaging, enjoyable and unique. It strives to reflect the full range of diverse viewpoints while also advocating positions that strengthen
Jewish unity and continuity. We desire to create and maintain a challenging, caring, enjoyable work environment that encourages creativity and innovation. We acknowledge our role as a responsible, responsive
MISSION member of the community. Being competitive, we must always strive to be the most respected, outstanding Jewish community publication in the nation. Our rewards are informed, educated readers, very satisfied
advertisers, contented employees and profitable growth.
6
September 20 • 2018
jn
jn
1942 - 2018
Covering and Connecting
Jewish Detroit Every Week