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in
the

on the cover

PHOTOS COURTESY OF THE BEAN FAMILY

SCAN PAGE FOR
MORE ON SUICIDE
PREVENTION.

Too Much
To Bear

Despite his wonderful qualities, Ethan
Bean’s sadness and isolation led to suicide.

RONELLE GRIER CONTRIBUTING WRITER

TOP: Ethan Bean
at Castle Falls in
Munising this summer.

E

than Bean was funny, quirky,
bright and inquisitive. He
enjoyed spending time with
his family, traveling around the
country or taking local excursions
to Greenfield Village and Downtown
Detroit to explore restaurants and art
venues. He relished jazz concerts with
his family, and his annual outing to
the Grand Prix with his father, Erik,

was the highlight of his year.
His musical taste reflected a soul
older than his 17 years; he liked Perry
Como, the Beatles, the Who and the
Doors. He loved his job at the outdoor
gear/sporting goods store REI, where
his co-workers appreciated his
unique personality and original sense
of humor. His boundless curiosity
and quest for knowledge led him to
become a self-taught expert on cars,
trains and every category of airplanes,
including makes and manufacturers.
He loved Lego and was adept at
assembling complicated models to
create his own mini Lego city.
But inside this intelligent and
imaginative young man was a
profound sadness and sense of
isolation he could no longer bear. In
the early morning hours of Friday,
Aug. 24, Ethan ended his life, leaving
a series of notes that described the
desolation of living in a world that did
not understand his unconventionality
or his anguish.
“To put things in basic terms, I was a
struggling human being on the highest
level possible. I don’t deserve to live
because of how much mental pain I’m

in. I realize how much help there is
in the world and that there’s always
someone there for you. Yes, that’s true,
but I’m misunderstood. I’m a fish out
of water no matter where I go. End of
discussion,” he wrote in one of the
notes.
During extensive treatment over
the years, Ethan was diagnosed with
many conditions: ODD (Oppositional
Defiant Disorder), ADHD (Attention
Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder),
anxiety, depression and ASD (Autism
Spectrum Disorder).
His parents acknowledge the
various diagnoses but felt the best
description by professionals was
simply “atypical.” He was a smart,
sensitive and temperamental boy who
was terribly misunderstood by his
teachers and his peers.
“I have been to multiple mental
health specialists and been prescribed
multiple medications and been to
facilities. That only makes you more
depressed. There is no one that could
have helped me or saved me,” he wrote.
His experience at North
Farmington High School was disap-
pointing. He had trouble making

continued on page 12

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September 13 • 2018

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