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junior at Michigan State University.
“He was a funny, smart, quirky kid
and we all loved him.”
Blair, now a successful student
and confident young woman who
is on the Dean’s List and serves as
a national representative for MSU
Hillel, attributes her earlier academ-
ic and social difficulties to the lack
of support she received from the
various schools she attended.
“Adults who are supposed to be
leaders and guide children are not
doing that, and it’s not OK,” she said.
“They let me slip through the cracks,
and they let him slip through the
cracks. My brother didn’t kill him-
self. Society killed him.”
To honor Ethan’s memory and
help other teens who are going
through similar struggles, the Beans
established the Ethan Bean Mental
Health Fund at Temple Shir Shalom
in West Bloomfield. The Beans cred-
it Rabbis Moskowitz and Schwartz
and the temple community with
providing unflagging support and
understanding to their troubled son.
“I got to know a young man
who would question everything,”
Schwartz said in his eulogy. “It
wasn’t that he was trying to be
defiant. Ethan was brilliant, and
he would ask questions to make
sense of things, to make sense of the
world around him. That desire of
knowledge remained a core part of
who Ethan was.”
Contributions may be directed to
the Ethan Bean Mental Health Fund
at Temple Shir Shalom, 3999 Walnut
Lake Road, West Bloomfield, MI
48323, (248) 737-8700, www.shirsha-
lom.org.

The Bean siblings: Blair and Ethan

SCAN PAGE TO SEE
A VIDEO ABOUT
TEEN SUICIDE
PREVENTION

self-identity, acceptance, fitting in
and self-esteem are very connected
to having positive meaningful
peer relationships,” Acciaioli said.
“Additionally, it can’t be over-empha-
sized that the rapidly changing and
increasingly complex social world
teens and young adults have to navi-
gate, because of the availability of
social media and social networking
sites, increases both the pressure to
fit in and the desire to connect. This
can increase their risk of exposure
to rejection, cyberbullying and other
forms of marginalization from their
peers.”

“ATYPICAL” CHALLENGES

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While not every story ends in trag-
edy, there are many teens and young
adults who, like Ethan, feel lonely
and misunderstood.
Higher functioning “atypi-
cal teens” often struggle socially
because they are usually more
aware that their communication
and social skills are different than
those of their peers, according to
Vincent J. Acciaioli, a licensed mas-
ter social worker (LMSW) practicing
in the Bloomfield Hills area. These
teens may have one or more men-
tal health disorders, such as Social
Anxiety Disorder, Social (Pragmatic)
Communication Disorder or mild
Autism Spectrum Disorder (pre-
viously referred to as Asperger’s
Disorder). Because they are high
functioning, they are more likely to
go unnoticed or “fall through the
cracks” instead of getting the help
they need.
“Adolescence is a time when

PARENTS CAN HELP

Acciaioli encourages parents to curb
the negative thinking common in
families who have a child with special
needs.
“Their child’s
differences do not
make their child
defective, inad-
equate or incapable
of living a successful,
productive life,” he
said. “Most impor-
Vince Acciaioli
tantly, it is not a
result of defective
parenting.”
Becoming a pro-active advocate
for the teen is important. Acciaioli
recommends learning about
resources, such as social skills groups
and parenting support groups, and
seeking help from mental health
professionals who have experience
working with atypical teens and
young adults.

continued on page 16

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September 13 • 2018

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