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for openers

Today, I Shaved My
Best Friend’s Head

I

buy a wig, a hat, hide it if you
dentity and gevurah
can. But, in reality, the world
(strength).
can see you are experiencing
Today, I shaved my
something, some illness or
best friend’s head. As a
treatment. You lose the privi-
result, I choose to address
lege of choice. And suddenly,
my own identity by wearing
all bets are off. It’s no longer a
a kippah.
question of whether your outfit
Visible signs of faith are
Abi Taylor-Abt
makes you look fat.
tricky. In Orthodoxy, it is
I have been fearful of wear-
separated first and fore-
ing a kippah. My Orthodox
most by gender. For women,
upbringing often making a
there is the question of cov-
mockery of egalitarianism, I felt
ering their hair. And how
exposed whenever I put a kippah on
to cover their hair: a hat, a sheitel, a
my head. And I struggled. Not that I
snood? Similarly, there are consid-
loved covering my hair when I was
erations for the men: What are you
more Orthodox in my tradition — to
declaring by choosing that particular
be honest, that never called to me.
kippah? What religious or political
statement are you making?
However, for over two years I have
played with the question in my mind,
My friend’s journey is her own but,
been my own chavruta, arguing both
being part of it and blessed to be in
her inner circle, I had no choice today sides. Judaism is deeply and irrevoca-
bly intrenched in my soul. Every day,
but to come face-to-face with certain
everything I do, every choice I make
realities. Our identity and so much of
is a result of my faith. I work and am a
who we are is embodied by our out-
role model in the Jewish community.
ward appearance, by what we share
Should I be wearing a kippah?
with the world.
Today, I was sternly reminded that I
And yet sometimes, we don’t have
a choice. When treatment causes hair get to choose what face I portray. And
although I still have the privilege of
loss, you cannot hide. Sure, you can

My Story

anonymity, by choosing to be visible, I
will try and create a safe space.
For those people who will recognize
my kippah as a symbol of Judaism
and want to strike up a conversation
or have a question, I will share and
answer as best I can. For others who
are minorities in their own right, my
kippah will show solidarity. My visible
sign of faith bringing me closer, visible
vulnerability, as I live in a place where
wearing a kippah is not the normal
practice.
I will wear my kippah when I am per-
forming kedushah, in services and even
in my place of work, as I am a Jewish
educator through and through and well
on my way to becoming a rabbi.
Today, I choose to transcend and
ignore the discomfort of my child-
hood experience and teachings.
Today, I embrace this identity. I am a
post-denominational Jew, I am in rab-
binical school, I am a woman, and I
am going to wear my kippah. •

Abi Taylor-Abt is director of education for Yachad
a combined educational endeavor between the
Conservative congregation of Beth Shalom and
the Reform community of Temple Emanu-El,
both in Oak Park.

letters

Should Iran’s Bad Year
Be Made Even Worse?

Applauding The Various
Shades Of Judaism

Kobi Erez, representing the Zionist
Organization of America, urges all of
us to work on strangling the already
struggling economy of Iran, keeping
Iran from getting any kind of relief
from Europe and, maybe ultimately,
as he hopes, destroying its “current
regime.” (“Iran’s Bad Year,” Aug. 9,
2018, page 6).
My eyes crossed, reading that. Yes,
Iran’s government is anti-Semitic and
militantly anti-Israel. But to delib-
erately inflict such terrible suffering
on the more than 80 million people
of Iran so that they rise up violently
against it … Is that what we really
want?

Two weekends ago, we happened to
spend Shabbat at a Chabad small
synagogue in Northern Virginia where
we celebrated a granddaughter’s
bat mitzvah. Following the Shabbat
meal with the rabbi’s family, we sang,
among others, the famous Hebrew
song: Hineh ma tov u’ma na’im shevet
achim gam yachad, translated to “how
good and pleasant it is for brethren
to sit together.” It is one of my favorite
Hebrew songs, which I knew since
early childhood in Israel and which I
found especially poignant nowadays.
Each and every Shabbat eve, we
attend the Kabbalat Shabbat service
at B’nai Israel of West Bloomfield,
where last Shabbat Eve we welcomed
the Shabbat Queen, together with our

— Michael Dallen
Detroit

friends and neighbors at Temple Kol
Ami, also in West Bloomfield.
The siddurim — prayer books —
were much different in the three
aforementioned houses of worship
and so were the songs that accompa-
nied the coming of the Shabbat, but
they were all beautiful and uplifting. It
reminded me that our Judaism comes
in different shades, all of them beauti-
ful and just as Jewish, and we should
applaud this diversity that character-
izes our ancient faith.

— Rachel Kapen
West Bloomfield

The JN welcomes letters of unde r
300 words from readers at
letters@renmedia.us.

Ed Schonberg is an attorney
who was recently elected to
Hebrew Free Loan’s Adjunct
Committee.
“This is my first community
Board experience, and I love it,” Ed
said. “I wish I’d come to HFL sooner.
I’ve donated in several places
across the community, but then I
got to the place where I felt I wanted
to volunteer my time and have
more personal involvement. I owe
a debt to my daughter, who worked
for BBYO and the Schusterman
Family Foundation. She would tell
me stories about working with
different communities, promoting
Jewish identity among young people,
and I learned a lot from her. My
wife also deserves credit for her
example as an event planner for
Kadima.”
As Ed chatted with attorney,
friend and current HFL Board
member Loren Dickstein about legal
matters, the talk turned to Hebrew
Free Loan. “I was intrigued on so
many levels,” Ed said. “I’m a real
estate lawyer who does banking
work, so a great deal of what HFL
does is also what I do every day.
I’m very much a believer in Jews
helping Jews, and I can’t think of a
better way to support the various
needs of our people and have an
immediate impact. I’ve just started
working with HFL, but I find it very
rewarding to support the achieve-
ment of others.
“I didn’t realize the scope of what
HFL did, from funding businesses
to helping start Jewish families
through in-vitro fertilization. The
Board and the staff care so much,
provide a wonderful benefit, and
I’m pleased to be part of it.”

Click. Call. Give Now.
www.hfldetroit.org
248.723.8184

Health. A fresh start.
A good education.
The next great business idea.

Hebrew Free Loan gives interest-
free loans to members of our
community for a variety of
personal and small business
needs. HFL loans are funded
entirely through community
donations which continually
recycle to others, generating
many times the original value
to help maintain the lives of
local Jews.

6735 Telegraph Road, Suite 300 • Bloomfield Hills, MI 48301

Hebrew Free Loan Detroit

jn

@HFLDetroit

August 23 • 2018

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