views
for openers
Beyond Bubbie
& Zayde
W
hen my oldest was about
2, I took out my wedding
album and carefully, care-
fully (“Don’t touch it; don’t breathe
on it; just look!”) looked through the
pictures with him. When we came to
a picture of me sit-
ting with my mother,
mother-in-law, two
grandmothers and my
husband’s grandmoth-
er, my little one point-
ed in turn, pleased he
knew who everyone
was and said, “There’s
Rochel Burstyn
Mommy… Bubbie,
Bubbie, Bubbie,
Bubbie and … Bubbie!”
A wide ocean split
our little collection of bubbies onto two
continents, which was why the name
issue hadn’t come up until then. But
the time was ripe for some differentia-
tion. My in-laws, who live locally, stayed
simply Bubbie and Zayde; my parents
title got an important addendum — “
in Australia;” my Detroit grandmother
became “Bubbie Greenwald;” and
my husband’s grandmother decided
to update her name along with her
promotion to great-grandmother and
became “Bubbie-Bubbie.”
It seems our solution is pretty stan-
dard; many grandparents out there add
their first name, last name or city to
their title. With life expectancy longer
than ever, and all kinds of blended
families, coming to a solution can be
easier said than done — some families
can have up to 20 or so grandparents
to find names for!
Luckily, the choices abound: Savta
and Saba, Grandma and Grandpa,
Nana and Papa and, of course, practi-
cally a million variations and combina-
tions of each. Here’s a cute one: Lolly
and Pop!
If you feel like exploring your fam-
ily’s history, things can get really
fun! Got some Russian blood? Try
Babushka and Dedushka. French?
Grand-mère and Grand-père.
German? Oma and Opa. Greek? Yaya
and Pappoús.
I took an informal survey of what
local families call their grandparents;
many said they let the grandparents
choose.
And here’s where people get really
creative. Like the grandmother who
felt much too glamorous to be a granny
so became Glammy. Or the bubbie
who felt much too young to be a great-
grandmother so updated her “Bubbie”
to “Bubbsy.” There’s the family with a
“Young Bubbie” and “Old Bubbie” and
a family with “Big Grandpa” and “Little
Grandpa.”
Many new grandparents find it
meaningful to be known by whatever
they called their grandparents, but then
what should the new great-grandpar-
ents be called? Do they need to be dis-
lodged of a title they’ve been comfort-
ably using for the past few decades?
My neighbor’s mother, Helen Fink,
who passed away May 31, was thrilled
when she became a grandmother 39
years ago. She didn’t want to be called
Bubbie because that was her mother’s
name, so she started tossing around
suggestions. She settled on the Hebrew
“Savta” and excitedly called her cousin
to share the news but in her excite-
ment forgot the word and ended up
saying, “I’m so excited, I’m a – Sofa!”
From that day on, she was Sofa. It
stuck!
And that’s the funny thing about
names. They stick just as fast as lol-
lypops to a spoiled grandkid’s face. For
many newly crowned grandparents,
the first time the little heroes or hero-
ines of their brag books attempt to
call them anything at all, they simply
kvell with pride and joy. And that is
why there are so many Memes, Gigis,
Gammas and Babas … or whatever it
was the little darling said the first time
they looked at the proud grandparents
and tried to say their name. That heart-
melting, “He knows me!” soundbite is
then used forever . •
jn
August 9 • 2018
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