views
jewfro
Letters To Camp
Hello Phoebe, Hello Judah
Hope you're loving Camp Haruda
Here without you, things are quiet
it.
Planet Fitness, well I’m planning fi t to try
I
knew this day would
come. My children
moved out and they
are never coming back
for 2-4 weeks. I am cop-
ing with being an empty
nester the only way I
know how — writing a
21st-century parody of
a 20th-century parody of a
19th-century ballet. With
apologies to Allan Sherman,
Amilcare Ponchielli
and A.J ...
Ben Falik
Contributing Writer
We had dinner without spilling
Miso salmon, oh so thrilling
Your dog, Lola, lately lingers
fi ngers.
Sniffs for you and your discarded chicken
You might wonder, do I miss you?
And the voodoo that you two do?
Just keep camping and canoeing,
g.
brewing.
I’m content here vacuuming and home beer
Am I jealous, you are asking?
Going loco multitasking?
Camp is magic, every minute
?
Why does it have a restrictive age-out limit
Don’t come home, oh Phoebe, Judah
Over time, you'll come to see ya
Are lucky to leave the shore
And paddle off to Lake S'more.
Stay at camp, my Judah, Phoebe
This is Us, Netfl ix, and Shark Week
Which would seem exciting but
It has long been in a rut.
Fearless Phoebe and your Bruddah
Do not worry ’bout your Muddah
Keeping busy at Ford Motor
Just in case, she is an absenteeing voter.
Come to think it, life is boring
Sans your kvetching and your snoring
Shouting spilling, yeah that’s better
r.
Judah, Phoebe: kindly disregard this lette
Visit thejewishnews.com for a rendition you’ll never be able to un-hear. If you or
my kids are looking for me over Labor Day weekend, I’ll be in the Northwoods
of Wisconsin for the 90th reunion of Camp Nebagamon for Boys.
Yiddish Limerick
Tu b’Av
S’iz Tu b’Av again, der yonteff is here
Undzer yonteff of love, far dir un far mir.
So zog ich hob dir lib, I love you, my dear
I love you today and every day of the year.
Oh, Tu, Tu b’Av, a yonteff so dear.
S’iz Tu b’Av: It’s the 15th of Av
der yonteff: the holiday
Undzer: our
Far dir un far mir: for you and for me
zog ich hob dir lib: say I love you
By Rachel Kapen
jn
July 26 • 2018
5