had taken public-school Spanish, and we
studied with a Spanish teacher before we
left. Jeffrey and I and our children, ages
10, 13 and 14 at the time, encountered
one never-before-encountered experience
after the next. The entire year felt like
every day provided us with the oppor-
tunity to gather around the dinner table
to discuss our daily challenges and con-
quests.
We desired to immerse ourselves into
the Spanish culture as much as possible.
Elliot, our oldest child, did this by teach-
ing third-grade Catalan children English
once a week after school as well as
attending weekly classes at the commu-
nity art center. Amelia, our middle child,
took hip-hop at a local Spanish dance
studio. And Asher, our youngest child,
joined a Catalan-speaking basketball
team that practiced three times a week
and played a game every Saturday.
As for Jeffrey and me, each day addi-
tionally exposed us to new situations.
Whether it was Jeffrey attending an entre-
preneur organization meeting with his
Spanish forum or navigating the city on
a moto, he had no choice but to engage a
global attitude and lots of patience.
As for me, my attempts at grocery
shopping, making doctor appointments
and finding an American coffee increased
with precision and speed as the days
turned into months. I recall early on
in our experience the language barrier
enticing and aggravating simultane-
ously. We busied ourselves converting
Euros to dollars, Celsius to Fahrenheit
and kilometers to miles. Hand gestures
were common means of communication
until our Spanish-speaking skills evolved
from rudimentary to conversational. We
all — the kids especially — learned what
I call “forced independence.” They were
forced out of their comfort zone over and
over again and, in the end, learned adapt-
ability, determination, leadership and
confidence.
As for Jewish life in Spain, we attended
services on the High Holidays; we invited
two lovely exchange students we met at
those services to Rosh Hashanah dinner;
we fasted and broke fast; we lit Shabbat
candles; we ate a festive seder meal in the
Jewish ghetto of Venice. The importance
and recognition of our Jewish identity
prevailed. While we traveled, we typi-
cally visited the Jewish communities of
those regions, including synagogues in
Marrakesh, Florence, Girona, Seville,
Rome, Amsterdam and Venice. Our
first religious experience occurred in
Barcelona’s Jewish Quarter shortly after
we arrived to acquire a mezuzah, the
hanging of which became a ritual we will
always cherish.
Navigating our adventure became find-
ing the desired balance between receiv-
ing numerous visitors, traveling various
cities around the world and immersing
ourselves into our new Spanish commu-
nity. We entertained and hosted exactly
a dozen sets of friends and family, each
time visiting new sites, restaurants and
neighborhoods. We traveled as a family to
10 different countries, including partici-
pating in a 10-day mission to Israel with
our Detroit Temple Israel community.
We all created many friendships with
many wonderful people while living in
Barcelona, many of which we continue to
treasure. And always will. We have been
able to see some of our new friends since
returning home and others we continue
to communicate with frequently.
The differences between what we
knew and what we now know continue
to evolve. With our traveling and touring,
we gained the ability to navigate foreign
cities, taste unusual foods and com-
municate without words. Additionally,
since returning to the U.S. each of us, on
his own level, recognized growth in each
other as well as in ourselves. During our
year abroad, we were continuously put in
situations where we stretched our think-
ing and our values. These lessons and
developments still unfold as we continue
to navigate our lives one day at a time.
Specifically, the knowledge that what
matters will get done when it matters.
This constantly reminds me to slow down
and spend time breaking bread with
friends and family as we did assuming the
role of Spanish Europeans for one year.
During our time in Barcelona, I pub-
lished a blog called NoSpainNoGain.
me. The blog became a way to share our
lives with our friends and family back
home. I shared moments and memories s
and experiences and exasperations. The
long-distance love from home continued
to remind me that everything and every-
one will be just where we left them once
we returned. Although we longed to be
at a few bar mitzvahs and other gather-
ings, most situations allowed us to pick
right back up where we left off upon our
return.
In the end, spending one year 4,000
miles away from home created a new
home for us, another home with love and
loved ones. Making the invisible become
visible will never be the same for us
again. We will forever be grateful for our
own energy to make this happen, the sup- -
port and encouragement of our friends
and family, and the realization that every-
thing not only requires a little bit of faith
but also the desire to leap.
There was a point near the end of our
experience in Barcelona that my then-
13-year-old, Amelia, said to me, “Mom,
why would you even bring us all the way
here to make all of these friends when
we only have to turn around and go back
home soon?” She asked this with tears in
her eyes. Tears welled up in my eyes, too.
Those words were music to my ears, as I
heard them as the proven success of our
experience. •
FROM LEFT: The Kaftans in Spain:
Elliot, Amelia, Marla, Asher and
Jeffrey. Bags are packed! Finding
signs of Jewishness. A family
photo shoot. Celebrating Passover.
Amelia and Asher. Amelia and Elliot
celebrate their b’nai mitzvah in
Israel. .
jn
July 26 • 2018
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