family counseling
Jewish Contributions to Humanity
#24
series
#31 in
in a a series
Actions vs. Distractions
E
ach day we decide how to use
Distractions allow us a break from the
our time. We can devote our-
intensity of daily living. Watching an
selves to beneficial actions or be
old movie or planting a garden can
diverted by less-than-useful distrac-
offer respite from all that weighs on us.
tions. Either way, we measure our lives
But distractions can disconnect us
by accomplishments or failures.
from others. Increasingly, distracted
Actions focus on commitments and
people involve themselves with activi-
duties we want to complete. They are
ties that have little meaningful inter-
important because they have outcomes action. Social relationships dwindle.
or purposes to enhance our lives and
Significant life events — weddings,
those of our family and community. To funerals, even births — are shared
successfully realize them, we designate
online. We need not leave our homes
priorities, make schedules and strate-
as we did in years past to share others’
gies, and determine how
happiness or grief. Will people
we will meet expectations.
eventually cease connecting or
Satisfaction comes when
caring about one another alto-
our actions are reasonably
gether?
achieved.
Distractions can increase
Distractions, in contrast,
the possibility of loneliness
entice us away from actions.
and depression. Today, many
We worry less about task
kids come home from school
success; happiness is unre-
and isolate themselves in their
lated to getting things done. Daniel
rooms. They connect online
Rosenbaum,
Actions take priority when
over social media with peers,
Ph.D., LMSW
we realize that something
and even strangers, but don’t
consequential — buying food
interact as well face-to-face.
for dinner or picking up the
Cell phones may be our most
child at a playdate — needs attend-
widespread distraction. Everyone has
ing to. Accountability directs us to act
a phone, even young children, and
beyond our own interests.
we reflexively respond to a ring or
Some people overcome distractions
vibration. Recently, I was in a store
by relying on someone else to deter-
when someone’s phone sounded.
mine what they do or where they go.
Immediately, five people in the aisle,
A classic example is the well-known
including me, reached for their own
“honey-do list.” Here, the stereotypical
phones. Pavlov would be proud.
husband has good intentions to fin-
Today, we react to ambiguous sig-
ish a project but is preoccupied with a
nals more intently than messages from
game. His wife reminds him of the list
people we know. People are distracted
to avoid his being overtaken by more
by phones in restaurants, schools,
pleasurable distractions.
doctors’ offices, even religious institu-
Action-oriented people base their
tions, often paying attention to a call
worth on what they accomplish. If they while ignoring those around them. Our
fall behind, their stress increases. An
“magic boxes,” as a friend calls them,
unpredictable delay, like a long line at
answer our questions via Google, keep
the grocery store, causes dismay. This
us up-to-date with calendar remind-
means other items will not get done at
ers and connect us to “friends” via
all. This mission failure can intensify
Facebook, Twitter or Snapchat.
anxiety, sow self-doubt, and diminish
As these future trends become fixed
confidence and motivation.
in our culture, consider how your
Actions and distractions offer both
actions will benefit others and don’t
short-term detriments and long-term
let distractions encroach on your life’s
benefits. Family-focused actions pro-
joys. Take time to interact face-to-face,
vide meaningful time being together,
making those lasting connections with
planning a vacation, visiting friends or
family, friends and the community. •
relatives, or going to a restaurant or
Dr. Daniel Rosenbaum is a clinical social worker at
movie. Family actions can also include
Counseling Associates Inc. in West Bloomfield,
volunteering together.
where he counsels children, teens and adults
Distractions are valuable because
experiencing family or personal psychological
they reduce worry or anxiety.
problems.
These Jewish
Olympians Were
Faster, Higher
and Stronger.
AGNES KELETI (1921-).
Budapest, Hungary. Gymnastics.
A ten-time Olympic medalist, a young Agnus Keleti won her first
Hungarian national gymnastics title at the age of 16. Her first Olym-
pics competition would have been in 1940, but World War II can-
celled the games, and upended her life, forcing her to hide as a Chris-
tian in a Hungarian village. Keleti missed the 1948 London Olympics
due to injury, but won nine medals in the 1952 Helsinki Olympics and 1956 Melbourne
Olympics, during which she defected following the Soviet Union’s invasion of Hungary.
In 1957, Keleti settled in Israel, where she now lives.
MARK SPITZ (1950-).
b. Modesto, California. Swimming.
One of the greatest swimmer’s of all time, Mark Spitz is an eleven-
time Olympic medalist, and won a then record seven gold medals at
the infamous 1972 Munich Olympics, setting new world records in
each of the seven events. Born and raised in California, Spitz was an
avid swimmer from a very young age. His first international competi-
tion came as a teenager in 1965 in Tel Aviv in the Maccabiah Games,
where he won four gold medals. By just seven years later, Spitz had set 23 world
swimming records, and won four medals at the 1968 Mexico City Olympics, including
two golds. After the Munich Olympics, Spitz retired, to many people’s surprise, at just
22 years old.
DARA TORRES (1967-).
b. Beverly Hills, California. Swimming.
A twelve-time Olympic medalist, Dara Torres is America’s only
swimmer to have competed in five Olympic Games. and became the
oldest ever swimmer to make the U.S. Olympic team at age 41 in the
2008 Beijing Olympics. Dara began swimming at age 7 at a Y.M.C.A.,
was a multi-sport athlete in high school, and competed in her first
Olympic Games in Los Angeles while still in high school in 1984, win-
ning a gold medal. Torres also competed in 1988 in Seoul, and in 1992 in Barcelona,
and then took a seven-year break before earning a spot at the 2000 Sydney Olympics
at age 33, winning five medals. Eight years later in Beijing, Torres, who had recently
become a mother, took home a silver medal. Her 12 Olympic medals ties the all-time
record for a female Olympic swimmer.
ALY RAISMAN (1994-).
Needham, Massachusetts. Artistic gymnastics.
An artistic gymnast, as a teenager at the 2012 London Olym-
pics—and just five years after her Bat Mitzvah—Raisman captained
the U.S. women’s gymnastics team, and won three medals, two gold,
becoming the first ever American woman in the Olympics to win gold
on the Floor Exercise, during which she chose Hava Nagila as her
background music. Since 2010, Raisman has won four medals on be-
half of the United States in World Championships, and eight medals in Pacific Rim
Championships. Appearing regularly in ESPN, Sports Illustrated, and even competing
in Dancing With the Stars, Raisman is one of America’s most prominent and youngest
Jewish athletes.
Original Research by Walter L. Field Sponsored by Irwin S. Field Written by Jared Sichel
jn
June 21 • 2018
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