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For Love Of Seven-Layer Cake

I

’ve written over the years about my ing art.
In The Rye, Jerry, on a mission
unabashed, insatiable, down-right
to buy a marble rye at Schnitzel’s
fanatical love for seven-layer cake.
At break-fast on Yom Kippur, I don’t Bakery, witnesses an elderly woman
purchasing the last loaf. He stalks
consider it sacrilege to eat seven-
the woman outside the store,
layer cake before indulging in
even offering her $50 for the
lox and bagels. And I’m not
elusive loaf. When she refuses,
ashamed to admit — well,
he, in what can only be
maybe a little ashamed — that
described as a crime of pas-
I’ve left shivahs disappointed
sion, snatches the bread out
that seven-layer wasn’t served.
of the unsuspecting senior’s
Conversely, I was so moved
hands and runs off into the
once by the availability of
night. Cut to “real life.”
seven-layer cake at a shivah
Several days ago, I entered
that I actually brought one to Alan Muskovitz
Diamond Bakery 10 minutes
the following night’s service
before closing on what was an
out of guilt for how much I
impromptu visit to purchase
had consumed.
just one slice of seven-layer
I will not dare venture into
cake which I fully intended to eat at
the debate over what local proprietor
red lights on the drive home. (FYI … I
makes the best seven-layer cake; our
do not text and drive.)
society is already mired in too much
To my horror, the only other patron
divisiveness to try and have a rational
in the bakery, Ellen, was in the process
conversation about that. But within
of purchasing the last two individual
the last couple of weeks, I did find
slices — one for herself and her friend
myself in a rather dramatic situation
Pat. I reacted like a deer caught in the
involving 7LC at Diamond Bakery in
West Bloomfield. I mention the estab- headlights as I watched the transac-
lishment only as a point of fact, not as tion unfold, in what seemed like slow
motion, as I bellowed: “Nooooooooo!”
an admission of preference.
It turns out that Ellen, a former
Turns out this particular seven-
Detroiter visiting from Grand Rapids,
layer “situation” was my closest brush
had driven out of her way to pick
with living out a real-life, iconic epi-
up some cherished seven-layer as
sode of Seinfeld (Season 7, Episode
she passed through town. While I
11-The Rye.) It was, for me, life imitat-

never “seriously” entertained the
idea of snatching the cakes from this
innocent woman’s hands, I did, for a
moment like Jerry, consider offering
her a generous mark-up on the pieces.
“Feeling my pain,” Ellen, in what can
only be described as a selfless act of
humanitarianism, offered to surren-
der one of her slices. Was I tempted
to accept her offer? You bet I was. I
came “this close” — about the width
of one layer — to swallowing my pride
in order to have a shot at swallowing
some cake. But I saved myself from
myself and graciously but painfully
declined. For showing this level of
restraint, everyone thinks I should
win the Nobel “Piece” Prize; though I
would never say it.
“Perhaps” I may be overstating the
emotional impact this had on me,
but having come so close to a piece
of seven-layer cake, only to be denied
it, gave me a much greater appre-
ciation of how Moses must have felt
when God forbid him to enter the
Promised Land. Poor Moses didn’t
have an alternative. Me? I bought a
giant chocolate chip cookie instead. •

Alan Muskovitz is a writer, voice-over/acting
talent, speaker, emcee and guest host on the
Mitch Albom Show on WJR AM 760. Visit his
website at laughwithbigal.com and “Like” Al on
Facebook.

letters

Virtually No Dems Invited

A letter to the editor in the May 24
issue of the JN asked why no leading
Democrats attended the Jerusalem
embassy opening ceremony. The better
question would have been “Why were
virtually no Democrats invited?” I think
you will find that almost no Democrats
currently serving in office were invited.
A related illustration of just how
hyper-partisan the embassy opening
was: Former U.S. Ambassador to Israel
Dan Shapiro, who served for eight years
in that role — widely respected across
the Israeli political spectrum — and
who publicly supported the embassy
being moved to Jerusalem and cur-
rently lives and works in Herzliya, was
not invited to the embassy opening
ceremony. He was invited to a party the
night before (which he attended) but he
was pointedly not invited to attend the
opening itself.

Nancy Federman Kaplan
West Bloomfield

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jn

June 7 • 2018

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