moments
Outside-The-Box Birthday Party
A special
surprise for a
special kid.
Jennifer Lovy
Contributing Writer
ABOVE: Curly-haired friends
assembled for Evan Lovy’s
curly-haired birthday party.
42
May 24 • 2018
W
hen our son Evan
turned 6, he had his
first birthday party
with school friends. We sang
happy birthday. The kids were
indulged with overly-stimulating
activities. They ingested way too
much sugar, and they left with
goodie bags overflowing with use-
less items that I’m sure their par-
ents could not wait to get rid of.
In many ways, it was a typical
kid’s birthday party. However,
my kid had very specific rules
for his party, such as no candles,
no turning the lights off to sing
“Happy Birthday” and no cheer-
ing of any kind.
Because Evan has autism,
things like these really bother
him, so we adapt the best we
can. His earlier birthdays pre-
sented other unique challenges
because we didn’t know what
presents to get, whom we should
invite to birthday parties or
what special birthday outing we
should do with the birthday boy.
At the time, Evan didn’t have
many words, so he couldn’t tell
us what he wanted for his birth-
day. He had little interest in play-
ing with toys or other kids, so he
didn’t have any real friends, and
we didn’t know what toys would
rise to the level of birthday gift.
In our house, it is a tradition
for the birthday boy or girl to go
out to dinner alone with Mom
and Dad on the night of his or
her birthday if desired. When
jn
Evan was younger, restaurants
were his least favorite place to
be. Plus, Evan has so many aller-
gies that we bring his food with
us. When he turned 5, we took
him to our favorite sushi
restaurant just because
it had ceiling fans. He
appreciated it, but it
didn’t rise to the level of
a great birthday dinner
spot.
When his next birth-
day rolled around, he
was going through a
Evan Lovy
phase where restaurants
were too loud or too
dark. The pressure was on to
come up with something special
for this birthday boy. What did
Evan love that we could do on a
weeknight?
For the next four years, we
celebrated Evan’s birthdays in the
light and fan aisles of a nearby
Home Depot. The first time we
went, Evan was 7. He sat with his
hands on the steering wheel of a
car-shaped shopping cart, wear-
ing a birthday crown that his
teacher made. We walked up and
down the light and fan aisle while
Evan ate his dinner and talked
nonstop about the chandeliers,
lights and ceiling fans.
While Evan looked up at the
lights and fans, I kept glancing
up uncomfortably at the cameras
and wondering when security
was going to ask us to buy some-
thing or leave. They never did.
And the other customers weren’t
in the aisle long enough to real-
ize we weren’t there to shop. I
don’t think anyone knew that we
were at Home Depot celebrating
our son’s birthday — and
he was having the best
one ever.
Evan still loves Home
Depot but not enough
to put it on the birthday
celebration short list.
These days he is obsessed
with curly hair. I don’t
think there is a word
to describe his deeply
intense passion for curly
hair. He is constantly approach-
ing strangers to compliment their
curls.
This was the first year in a
while that we didn’t do a birth-
day party (we started doing
them again a few years ago at his
request), but we wanted some
sort of a special birthday celebra-
tion. Thinking of Evan’s passion
for curls, it was almost a no-
brainer to invite people we knew
with curly hair to come over and
celebrate with Evan.
After dinner, we told Evan we
had a surprise for him in the
garage. After a slight miscommu-
nication about whether Evan was
coming out of the house or the
curly crew was coming in, Evan
opened the door to our garage.
“Surprise!” everyone yelled
in unison during Evan’s early
November birthday celebration.
“What is this?” asked a con-
fused 12-year-old. Then after
a very short pause, it clicked.
“Wow. Look at these beatsyonnas
(a word Evan lovingly made up
to describe a woman with curly
hair)! They’re all beatsyonnas!”
And the beatsyonnas sponta-
neously burst out into a rousing
rendition of “Happy Birthday.”
Throughout the night, Evan
kept shouting things like, “This is
what I’ve always wanted,” “Best
birthday surprise ever,” “Thumbs
up everybody. Thumbs up!”
There were nearly two dozen
people in our house that night.
Most of them had natural curls,
but a few came with wigs or used
a curling iron, and they couldn’t
stop smiling and laughing
because Evan’s happiness was
contagious. “We celebrated him
as he celebrated all of us,” com-
mented one of our guests.
One of the things that made
this celebration and the Home
Depot dinners so special is the
fact that both were experiences
that matched our son’s inter-
ests. Neither were materialistic.
And, more important, they were
experiences that gave Evan more
happiness than anything anyone
could ever buy. •
To see Evan’s reaction to his birthday sur-
prise, visit facebook.com/
lovewhatreallymatters/
videos/1730483333640724/?hc_
location=ufi.