jews d in the sponsored by our community partners continued from page 12 “Going to college is a huge transition … You have to be the best possible version of yourself at all times. All of us know that this pressure is way too much.” — DIANE ORLEY, PARENT Tips For Students • Make connections. Go to Shabbat dinner at Hillel or Chabad. Join a club or student group. Get involved in dorm activities. • If you need support, take advantage of student groups such as the Wolverine Support Network or Spartan Support Network. • Do not be afraid to seek coun- seling at one of the student health service facilities. If the wait is too long, ask for a referral to a private therapist near campus. • Give yourself time to adjust to campus life. Don’t join too many clubs or take on too many extra- curricular activities during the first semester. • Seek out guidance or advice from older students who have already been through what you are facing. • Have a plan when you go out at night. If you are going to a party, go with a friend. If you don’t like the atmosphere, leave early. • Plan your schedule to allow a balance between school work and social activities. • Take time for self-care: eat healthy foods, exercise, get enough sleep. • Be kind to yourself. Use a mantra or a list of positive affirma- tions instead of criticizing yourself. • Avoid numbing behaviors such as excessive use of social media, drinking, drugs or junk food. • Use stress management tools such as listening to soothing music, spending time in nature, exercising or meditating. • If a friend is suicidal, help them connect with family, a resi- dent adviser, counselor or another trusted adult. • Realize what is true today is not necessarily true tomorrow. Whatever is causing stress today will not last forever. given them security,” Kaplan said. “Many teens are facing things they’ve never been exposed to — new friends, new surround- ings, being away from their usual comforts, even their pets — and it can be hard.” She believes some parents exacerbate the situation by doing too much for their children, which prevents them from developing necessary coping and problem- solving skills. “Kids are more intelligent but more emotionally immature than in the past,” Kaplan observes. “There is a dependency that gets nurtured because parents are over-protective.” She encourages parents to validate their kids’ emotions and feelings and be sup- portive without overreacting and jumping in to “fix” their problems. EMBRACING CHANGE After attending Hillel Day School and Frankel Jewish Academy, Paul Schmitz decided to leave his comfort zone when he began his freshman year at the University of Michigan’s Ross School of Business last fall. Instead of rooming with one of the friends he had grown up with, he chose to room blind, using a university Facebook page to find a compatible roommate. “I decided to completely branch out and have an open mind,” said Schmitz of Farmington Hills. “It was a very dramatic change; I had the same friend group for 12 years. A lot of people are not used to change — I decided to embrace change.” He joined a fraternity with students he had not known before and got involved in continued on page 16 U-M student Paul Schmitz in his dorm room 14 May 24 • 2018 jn the university’s very active Hillel program, which provided a tight-knit community within a big school. He became involved in some of the student groups, including the freshman engagement committee, Wolverines for Israel and Wolvpack. Schmitz hit a bump in the road when he failed to get into any of the clubs he had applied to within the Ross School of Business. Although he knew admission into these clubs was highly competitive, the rejection was hard for him to digest. “It took a toll; I thought I wasn’t good enough,” Schmitz said. To help him cope, he turned to the Wolverine Support Network (WSN), which consists of small peer-led support groups and campus events. “I think everyone should get involved. I plan to be a leader (in WSN) one day. You can talk about anything,” said Schmitz. He has since joined a business fraternity and a club within the business school, where he holds a leadership position. “It’s not the most prestigious club, but I’m making the best of it, and that’s what every kid needs to do,” he said. A major advocate for WSN and for expanding mental health services on college campuses is Diane Orley Diane Orley, who lost her son George to sui- cide at the beginning of his junior year at U-M. “Going to college is a huge transition,”