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College Blues

Tips For Parents

The difficult transition can spark some problems,
but here are tips for coping.

RONELLE GRIER CONTRIBUTING WRITER

T

he car is loaded. The trunk is filled with cloth-
ing, bedding, storage units, shower shoes and
wall decorations. The checklist is complete.
The prospective freshmen are nervous but eager to
begin their new journey. But are they really pre-
pared for what lies ahead?
Despite the smiling faces in the high
school yearbook, as many as one in
five students experiences a mental
health condition while in college,
according to the National Alliance
on Mental Illness (NAMI). Newly
published survey results from the
American College Health Association’s
(ACHA) National College Health
Assessment show that close to 40 percent
of college students said they felt so depressed in the
prior year that it was difficult for them to function.
During the same time period, 61 percent of college
students reported feeling “overwhelming anxiety”
and 10 percent had seriously considered suicide.
The reasons for these disturbing statistics are

many — students are under more pressure, socially
and academically, than in previous decades. Even
before their first freshman lecture, many are already
worrying about making good grades, fitting in
socially, getting into graduate school and eventually
finding jobs that will cover their student loans. Add
in the enormous adjustments that come with living
away from home for the first time, and it is no won-
der our campuses are filled with
stressed-out and anxious students.
Dr. Toni Kaplan, a clinical psy-
chologist based in Farmington
Hills, believes that some of this
anxiety could be alleviated if kids
realized that stress is a normal
part of going away to college for
the first time.
Dr. Toni Kaplan
“Teens seem to be somewhat
unaware that it is totally normal
for this transition to be difficult.
It’s a time of physical and emotional separation from
their families, from what is familiar and what has

continued on page 14

12

May 24 • 2018

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• Have a discussion before your child leaves for college.
These talks allow parents and teens to plan for the unex-
pected. Discuss what to do if your student develops emo-
tional distress, a mental health condition or if an existing
condition worsens.
• If there is a family history of mental illness, share that
with your children. These issues often run in families.
• Discuss what on-campus resources are available (see
page 17) if your child needs help. Encourage her to reach
out if she is feeling isolated, stressed or anxious.
• Make a plan with your teen about how all of you will
handle potential problems. Because of medical and educa-
tional privacy laws, most schools will not contact parents
if a child is missing classes or showing other signs of dis-
tress. Ask your child to sign a release or make a pact (with
his permission) with his roommate or a close friend to let
you know if trouble is brewing.
• Explain a certain amount of stress is normal, and what
he sees on social media is not usually what it seems.
• If your child is concerned about graduate school or a
job, reassure her she will eventually find her place. Let her
know it is OK not to have all the answers.
• Watch for signs when you talk to or see your teen.
“Prolonged sadness, crying, irritability, excessive drink-
ing, acting out, wanting to go home a lot, having trouble
concentrating, missing class, failing grades, feelings of
worthlessness, hopelessness or suicidal thoughts — these
go beyond normal adjustment,” Dr. Toni Kaplan says.
• Refrain from stepping in when teens exhibit more
garden-variety symptoms such as occasional homesick-
ness and anxiety.