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Building An Inclusive Community
S
ince attending the General Assembly community simply because of their
sexual orientation or identity. I’m a pas-
in October of 2016 in Washington,
sionate person who strives for productive
D.C., I have altered my lens to view
my journey in this community as a Jewish change in my community. I knew I had to
do something to change this. What that
journey — one that I’ve been on for 26
something was — that was still
years, and one that has taken a
to be determined.
dramatic turn in the past three
I met my fellow NEXTGen
years.
board member and friend
My Jewish journey started out
Jonathan Schwartz at a
like many others. I completed 13
Federation event, and we quickly
years of congregational school,
found out we’re both passionate
volunteered at Fleischman
about inclusivity. Jonathan has
Residence for eight years, estab-
a Christian wife so he started
lished Fisher AZA with 11 of my
Sam Dubin
an interfaith couples initiative
friends and went on to become
while I created NEXTGen Detroit
president for two years at Central
Pride. We pitched our inclusivity
Michigan University’s Hillel.
ideas to NEXTGen and they were
Then, it was time to come
behind us 100 percent.
home — back to Detroit. Aside from my
NEXTGen Pride, which I currently
role as director of sales and marketing
co-chair with Steven Davis, was started
at Dubin Cleaners & Laundry, I knew
in May 2016 with the intention of giving
I wanted to stay involved in the Jewish
community, so the next logical step was to young LGBT Jews a space and ultimately
connecting them to the broader Jewish
get involved with NEXTGen Detroit. I was
community. A sampling of our events
a participant for a year, joining the Latke
include Shabbat dinners, story slam,
Vodka committee and attending various
a post-election forum, Painting with a
events. A few months later, I applied for
the board of directors, and I was accepted. Twist, game night, an LGBT generational
panel, Hot Topics/Hot Latkes and a
Then my life changed forever when
drag queen bingo brunch. We also have
I came out as a gay man. That was
a presence in the greater LGBT com-
three years ago. I don’t want you get-
munity by hosting a booth at the annual
ting the wrong impression. My life
Ferndale Pride.
wasn’t changed in the way many in the
Slowly but surely, our community was
LGBT community’s lives are changed.
changing by bringing more people into it.
My parents didn’t throw me out of the
I was recently in Mount Pleasant for
house; friends didn’t stop being friends;
business and visited my alma mater while
the community did not abandon me.
I was up there. And as I drove through
My experience is the antithesis of these
campus and sat in the coffee shop, I was
heart-wrenching stories.
constantly reflecting on my time at CMU.
My life changed the moment I found
A huge point of reflection was the fact
out that many young people were leav-
that I fit in. We’re all obviously individual,
ing the state or not moving back after
unique people, but I blended into the col-
college because they felt like they didn’t
have a home in the greater Detroit Jewish lege collective. I had a good core group of
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friends, frequently made the dean’s list,
was well respected amongst professors
and peers and started to really carve a
name for myself in the Jewish community.
I was in a bubble — oblivious to the folks
who had challenges socially and academi-
cally. And I was sure oblivious to the folks
labeled as “the other.”
I’ve been lucky. Even as a gay Jew, I
never really felt labeled as “the other.” But
so many of the people I know today, most
notably many of our NEXTGen Pride con-
stituents, have gone through a lifetime of
being labeled as “the other” — including
from their own Jewish community. They
have felt disenfranchised for years and, in
some cases, decades — from their syna-
gogues, day schools, youth groups, etc.
Finally, through NEXTGen Pride, these
folks — my friends — have a place to call
their own and a home in the Jewish com-
munity. The dynamic in our community is
quickly changing into a more progressive
and inclusive community. As Detroit Jews,
we are all a part of this movement.
I’ve learned through NEXTGen Pride
that we have to broaden our base, not
only within the LGBT community but
also amongst all historically disenfran-
chised groups. Folks in interfaith mar-
riages, Jews of color, disabled Jews, skep-
tical Jews and the list goes on. We have
to be there, with open arms — just like
NEXTGen Pride is with our LGBT broth-
ers and sisters.
While I was working at NEXTGen
Pride’s booth at Ferndale Pride this past
summer, a gentleman came up to me, a
bit skeptical yet pleasantly surprised. An
older gay Jew, he had distanced himself
from the broader Jewish community. He
could not believe that Federation had a
presence at an event such as Ferndale
Pride. I explained to him how much
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Federation has evolved and that it’s a
new day when it comes to inclusivity.
My Jewish journey has led me to truly
believe that we can hold steadfast to our
Federation principles, values, morals and
convictions of taking care of the needs of
the Jewish people and building a vibrant
Jewish future while still embracing a new
day of inclusivity.
In our current climate of deep, deep
polarization, it’s more important now
than ever to lead by example and show
the countless number of skeptical
Jews among us that this is a new era in
Federation.
So that’s my Jewish journey up until
now — and it’s still being written. I’m
so grateful every day to be a part of this
Jewish community and that I have the
backing of such great leaders, both lay
and pro. I’d also like to thank my parents
who have supported and loved me every
step of the way.
I mentor a 9-year-old boy through
Jewish Family Service’s Mentor
Connection program. I look at him and
am heartened that the community he’s
growing up in is one that will accept
him no matter what. However he grows
up to identify, whoever is friends are, no
matter how much money he makes or
how religious he is — we — the Jewish
Federation of Metropolitan Detroit, will
always reach out our arms and welcome
him into the Jewish community.
L’dor va’dor, from generation to genera-
tion … and what a great new generation
it will be. •
Sam Dubin is creator and co-chair of NEXTGen
Pride Detroit. He also serves as director of sales
and marketing for Dubin Cleaners & Laundry.
He gave this speech to a Federation Board of
Governors meetin g earlier this year.
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