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Can We Please Start Over?
Happy
Passover
from Your
Probate
Lawyers
Thav, Ryke
and Associates
www.michprobate.com
24725 West 12 Mile – Ste. 110
Southfield, MI 48034
1-800-728-3363
12
March 29 • 2018
jn
W
e are born unique, com-
plex, imperfect.
Into the universe of
nature, often moral, often unjust.
Into society, where we must sign
a social contract to survive.
We are individu-
als, continuously
striving to retain
our individuality.
The first social
unit we encounter
is our family.
We desire accep-
tance
but also
Karen Lehrman
crave
respect.
Bloch
The second is
our religion, race,
ethnicity.
Often, these add
to our unique identities; some-
times, we are subsumed by them.
Next: School. From an early age,
we try desperately to fit in, to be
liked; it is here that we first face the
harsh realities of social acceptance.
We are cruelly pushed out of
some groups and just as arbitrarily
pushed into others; parental pres-
sures only add to the pain.
Our ability to navigate these early
social rites informs how we deal
with group acceptance for the rest
of our lives.
Finally, our political party.
Up until recently, aligning one-
self with a political party did not
create an impervious line in the
sand. Republicans and Democrats
argued, to be sure, but they also
could socialize, see humor in their
differences, compromise.
No more. The two groups hardly
interact, and within each party, one
must maintain rigid conformity to
a strict party line — the Orthodoxy
— or you risk being publicly humili-
ated.
I may agree with you on some
issues, disagree with you on others.
But unless you try to bully me into
submission, I respect your right to
your opinions, even if I find them
odious.
Individuality, on both the left and
the right, is dying; tribalism rules;
obedience reigns.
Tribalism begets extremism;
extremism begets hysterics. Social
media lit the final match.
Can we please start over?
I am unique, complex, imperfect.
I don’t care which party you
belong to; I don’t care which reli-
gion, race or ethnicity you identify
with. Unless you try to force me to
follow your way of thinking or liv-
ing.
I may try to get you to see an
issue the way I do, but I would
never bully you. We have lost the
distinction between arguing and
bullying.
Issues are often complex;
embrace the complexity.
Totalitarianism offers instant secu-
rity; resist it.
Question dogma; rebel against
irrationality.
Be brave but civil; break bound-
aries but remain decent.
Relearn to tolerate difference; to
take comfort in diversity; to listen.
We each have the ability to create
bonds of compassion, to sow seeds
of accord, to bring light back into
the darkness.
But first, we need to reclaim our
individuality.
I am unique, complex, imperfect.
I try to honor my quirks, idio-
syncrasies, opinions, to let them
inspire my dreams.
Heterodoxy: I think for myself; I
don’t need the validation of others.
I am not a political party; I am
not a group identity; I am me. •
Karen Lehrman Bloch is a cultural critic and
author of “The Lipstick Proviso: Women, Sex
& Power in the Real World” (Doubleday).
Her writing has appeared in The New York
Times, The New Republic, The Wall Street
Journal and Metropolis, among others. This
essay was first published in the Jewish
Journal.