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Story

‘Everything Was
Falling Apart’

I

came home from school that day extremely overwhelmed. I was
constantly worrying about everything under the sun, and I didn’t
really understand how to control it. I felt as if everything was fall-
ing apart.
I put so much pressure on myself to be this impossibly “perfect”
person that I pretty much drove myself insane. There was so much
built up inside of me and I couldn’t handle it anymore. I felt this unfa-
miliar tightness in my stomach and I found it hard to breathe.
I was alone in my room, and I figured that I was just stressed from
that day at school. I got underneath the covers and tuned out the
world for a while as I tried to calm myself down. I tried to convince
myself that everything was OK. As I lay there, my mind began to
race, and it became harder and harder to breathe. Eventually, tears
streamed down my face and I was hyperventilating.
I had reached my breaking point. I needed to realize that there is
no such thing as a perfect person and that my ”flaws” are what make
me, me. The rest of the night, I cried and cried. But, while I was sob-
bing, I was able to think. I needed to stop comparing myself to the
world around me and start being happy with who I was. •

teen

n

Here’s My

tlight o
o
p
s

mental health

Three essays by local
Jewish teens dealing
with mental illness.

‘You Are Not Alone’

D

ealing with anxiety and depres-
sion sometimes makes it difficult
to clearly see my purpose. My
anxiety tells me that I must know what
to do with my life; and when I fail to see
it, I feel depressed and unmotivated to
do anything. I have gone through count-
less challenges regarding body image and
mental health. This vicious cycle contin-
ues, and it is a battle.
I used to be a closed book, and
many people didn’t even think I talked.
However, I now am not afraid to share
my thoughts and ideas with the world. I
believe that sharing the challenges that
I have faced have started to guide myself
and others toward the light at the end of
our long, dark tunnels.
I write about obstacles that we all

face; but many, including me, have felt
alone in the process. To prevent this, I
have decided to let them know that they
are not alone. I have realized that I have
a desire to help others develop hope
that everything will be OK, and I am
attempting to fulfill that ambition. My
mental muscles have gained tremendous
strength because of my lowest moments,
for which I am grateful.
Last year, my self-esteem was at an
all-time low. I cried every day, and did
not want to be around people. This
year, I built up the confidence to run for
student government, and I was elected
president of my class! I discovered my
strength and my beauty through these
troublesome times, and I wouldn’t trade
them for anything. •

continued on page 20

18

March 8 • 2018

jn