COURTESY OF @ULTRAGRAPHICS_

views

for openers

News From Th e World Of Sports

Matt Patricia

C

Eagles. That makes Patricia the first
ongratulations to former New
Lions’ head coach who had to explain
England Patriot’s defensive
a devastating loss before he even
coordinator Matt Patricia on
coached his first game. Then
being named the Detroit
again, maybe that experience
Lions’ new head football
will help him in his Lions
coach. Matt signed a five-year
tenure.
deal but said he won’t unpack
Obviously, we all hope his
his moving boxes until after
Super Bowl experiences with
his third year at the earliest.
the Patriots will rub off on
Did you notice that Matt
our championship-deprived
trimmed his massive beard
franchise. However, no matter
down in time for his introduc-
how long Matt’s stay with the
tory press conference? I don’t Alan Muskovitz
Honolulu Blue, his pockets
know if he shaved to impress
will be lined with green. And
his new boss or he just didn’t
as I’ve already implied, he
want to be recognized as the
may not have to stick around
guy who actually agreed to be
for the duration of his contract to
the Lions’ new coach.
earn it. Most make deals that include
Sorry. I apologize for being sarcas-
tic but that comes with being realistic multi-million-dollar buyouts.
In 2005, former Lions’ head coach
when you’re a long-suffering Detroit
Steve Mariucci was fired midway
Lions fan.
through his third season of a guaran-
For example, I suggest Matt rent
teed five-year, $25 million deal and
with an option to buy; that way he
walked away with a reported $10 mil.
can avoid being stuck with a house to
Actually, he probably didn’t walk away
sell like his predecessor Jim Caldwell.
— most likely his chauffeur drove him.
Caldwell’s 8,566-square-foot home
According to USA Today sports,
in Franklin is for sale for $2.499 mil-
12 colleges that fired their football
lion. The property is in good shape
coaches in 2017 found themselves
despite needing drywall repair to fill
in the numerous holes where Caldwell on the hook for $70 million, proving
agreeing to a lucrative college football
banged his head against the wall.
coaching contract doesn’t take a col-
Coach Patricia is already coming
lege education.
to Detroit under precarious circum-
Look, firing people from their jobs
stances. On his watch as defensive
before their contractually agreed
coordinator, the Patriot’s gave up 41
time is up because of poor job per-
points in this year’s disappointing
formance is the nature of many busi-
Super Bowl loss to the Philadelphia

nesses. I only wish it worked that way
in politics.
Elsewhere in sports, it appears
South Korea did a fine job hosting
the Winter Olympics although we
could’ve done without seeing the
sister of brutal North Korea dictator
Kim Jong Un at the opening ceremo-
nies. FYI … I’m looking into a rumor
that the North Korean Olympic team
tested positive for food.
And you can’t make this up …
How do you write something humor-
ous about a bronze-medal winning
Russian curler who’s suspected of
doping after failing a drug test? Say
his career is going to be put on ice? Or
the Russians will “sweep” this under
the rug? No need. The story had me
laughing at “a curler is suspected of
doping.”
Finally, mazel tov to Israeli men’s
figure skaters Alexei Bychenko and
Daniel Samohin, finishing 10th and
11th place, respectively. Watching the
Israeli team walk into the stadium
during the outdoor opening cer-
emonies gave me a chill … literally. I
thought the kids could’ve dressed a
little warmer. Would it have been so
hard to take an extra jacket? As my
mother, of blessed memory, used to
say, “You can always sit on it.” •

Alan Muskovitz is a writer, voice-over/acting
talent, speaker, emcee and guest host on the
Mitch Album Show on WJR AM 760. Visit his
website at laughwithbigal.com and “Like” Al on
Facebook.

commentary

Why Do American Children Want Each Other Dead?

I

have had a gun pressed against my
head. And as much as I want to
describe it, I find it almost impos-
sible to do. For me, sound distorted,
and it was like being under water. Yet
my senses were so
acute that I could
feel the prickly flow
of blood as it tried
to decide where it
was needed most.
There was numb-
ness, horror, dread
and sadness. There
was an instinct that
Howard
took over all at once.
Feldman
It happened twice.
Both were armed
robberies. Each

lasted no more than 90 seconds. And
together they altered the course of my
life.
In a strange way, there was some
comfort in the knowledge that the
events were transactional. I had
various items that they wanted. And
I could hand them over. Provided I
didn’t panic, and they didn’t panic,
there was reasonable chance that I
would survive the ordeal. And so, I
handed over my watch and wallet
and my phone and laptop. And I did
survive.
Physically.
Unlike the victims of the Florida
school shooting. And unlike the vic-
tims of all the school attacks before
them. There was nothing that they

could do that would pacify the assail-
ant. He wanted them to suffer and he
wanted their lives.
The response to the latest kill-
ing spree is horribly predictable.
Everyone seems to retreat into their
“gun control” corners and the vic-
tims, although utilised to further
causes, are as always forgotten. And
whereas there’s little doubt as to the
importance of this discussion, I can’t
help thinking that we are missing the
point. Because surely before we get to
the gun discussion we should be ask-
ing; Why is it that American children
want to see each other dead?
I can’t recall a school shooting
in South Africa — one of the more
crime-affected countries in the world.

‘A Shared
Future’

The Jewish
Community
Relations
Council/AJC
has joined with
the Michigan
Muslim
Community
Lupovitch
Council to pres-
ent, “A Shared
Future: The
Once and Future
Jerusalem,” a
special dialogue
between Wayne
State University
Professors
Howard
Khan
Lupovitch and
Saeed Khan.
There will
be three opportunities to
attend the program: March 7
at Congregation Beth Ahm in
West Bloomfield, March 28 at
the Muslim Unity Center in
Bloomfield Hills and April 11
at the Wayne State University
(WSU) David Adamany
Undergraduate Library, Bernath
Auditorium in Detroit. All pro-
grams will take place at 7 p.m.
Launched in 2014, A Shared
Future is an interfaith dialogue
series that unites members of the
Jewish and Muslim communities
to learn together and build rela-
tionships. During each program,
Professors Lupovitch, associ-
ate professor of history and the
director of the Cohn-Haddow
Center for Judaic Studies at
WSU, and Khan, a lecturer in the
department of Near East & Asian
Studies at Wayne and a research
fellow at the university’s Center
for the Study of Citizenship,
will explore why Jerusalem
holds a central place in the faith
and imagination of Islam and
Judaism alike.
They will shed light on how
Jews and Muslims view the city
theologically, historically and
now, politically. Each program
will be followed by a dessert
reception. There is no charge to
attend.
Advance registration is
required for each program. To
register, visit asharedfuture.
eventbrite.com. For additional
information, contact Corey
Young, young@jfmd.org. A
Shared Future is sponsored by
the Ravitz Foundation. •

continued on page 8

jn

March 1 • 2018

5