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really like a good romance,
look at who we are and how we treat
whether it’s a best-selling novel or the people in our lives — especially
the latest romantic-comedy. The
the loves of our lives.
fact that it is February, the month of
The Torah is a reasonable place to
the quintessential Jewish
start. As we progress deeper
holiday of Valentine’s Day,
into the book of Exodus
makes it even better. Oops!
throughout February, we deal
Did I say, Jewish holiday?
with the theme of building
The roots of Valentine’s
the tabernacle in the wilder-
Day are quite obscure, but
ness. At first, it might not
history explains its origin
seem at all related to love or
to be both a pagan fertil-
relationships, but there is a
ity rite and a Christian
line that teaches exactly that.
feast day for St. Valentine.
It states that two cherubim
Rabbi Marla
While there might be some Hornsten
are meant to rest upon the
romance in its foundation,
cover of the ark, facing each
it doesn’t really become a
other, with wings reaching
festival for lovers until the
heavenward. “And between
14th century. And as far as
them,” God says, “I will meet
Judaism is concerned … our Jewish
you.”
Valentine’s Day doesn’t come around
It is the smallest detail that is most
until Tu b’Av, with a very, very minor
important: not that the cherubim
match-making festival.
are on top of the ark, not that their
So, what does Judaism have to
wings reach heavenward, though I
do with Valentine’s Day? The truth
love that imagery, but that they are
is nothing, really, except that it is
facing each other, and right between
February, and Jews love love. This
them, is God.
month, Temple Israel joins with
As with the cherubim, our rela-
Jewish Women International in its
tionships are about turning toward
fourth annual observance of Shamor each other, about offering ourselves
L’Amour: a little wordplay with
to others in openness and love.
the Hebrew, shamor, which means
Shamor L’Amour reminds us that we
guarding or keeping, and l’amour,
must learn how to create significant,
which in French, means love. JWI is
loving, and healthy relationships. It
asking congregations to think about
might be through communication,
our relationships, focusing on how
or patience, or honesty, or coopera-
we can all create healthy and affirm-
tion, or kindness or all of the above.
ing relationships with the people we
And, we have to model them for our
love.
children and grandchildren, so that
Healthy relationships are the
they will create them, too.
expectation. We simply assume that
So, let this be a time to focus on
all relationships are good, positive
guarding and keeping and protecting
and worthwhile. But, in our current
our love. I hope we will remember
climate, we are beginning to under-
that when we face each other, when
stand how dangerous relationships
we are in relationship with one
(of all types) can be. Sexual harass-
another, that God is also present,
ment is pervasive. Abuse is shrouded encouraging us to act in good and
in secrecy. Too often, relationships
kind and loving ways, reminding
become unhealthy, or worse, abusive. us that all of our relationships are
Statistics are frightening. One in
indeed holy endeavors. •
four women will experience domes-
Marla Hornsten is a rabbi at Temple Israel in
tic abuse in her lifetime. Believe it
West Bloomfield, committed to working to
or not, the Jewish community is not
prevent domestic abuse and guiding couples
immune. The numbers are the same
in establishing healthy relationships. A version
in the Jewish community as in every
of this article originally ran in the Temple Israel
other. It’s time to take a good, hard
Messenger.

