ing and sensible way. All you can
do is offer your love at the proper
time. It will be up to them to
accept it or not. I hope that they
do.
Given what you have written,
they will surely benefit from
some unconditional devotion.
Jacob and Esau found their way
back to one another; Joseph and
his brothers found forgiveness.
One day, hopefully you and your
brother will, too.
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DEAR DEBRA,
My children are furious with my
husband. His mother has been
ailing, and we recently got word
from her caretakers that “the end
was near.” He rushed off (she lives
in Canada) to be with her and
texted our kids from the airport,
“Grandma is dying.” His mother
pulled through, but our kids are
still furious that their dad so cal-
lously shared such painful news
with them in this impersonal way.
How can I make him see the error
of his ways?
— Testy with the Texter
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DEAR TESTY,
Boy, would Marshall McLuhan have
a field day with texting! (For those
of you too young to relate, Google
“the medium is the message.”)
Being summoned to Canada
with the news that his mother was
dying likely played havoc with your
husband’s sense of propriety. I can
understand your children being
upset at receiving such a text but
“still furious?”
It would be good if everyone
could take a breath and summon
some rachmones (compassion)
for one another. Instead of trying
to make your husband “see the
errors of his ways” remember what
prompted the text — his mother’s
impending death.
The next time you are all togeth-
er, clear the air! While I agree that
a text is far from the best way to
share such news, I’d imagine your
husband was simply trying to be
expedient at a difficult time. Your
kids were jolted by the message
and the medium (did you Google
McLuhan?) Surely they can
understand their father thought
he was rushing to his mother’s
deathbed.
When the inevitable happens,
you all get a second chance. A
phone call instead of a text or
email. Kindness instead of anger.
Loving support for one another at
a time of sorrow. •
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jn
February 22 • 2018
27