bridal 2018

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TOP: Sharon and Alex Minkin’s grandfathers’ tallitot were sewn together to create the chuppah.
MIDDLE LEFT: Sharon Minkin’s grandmother’s favorite necklace and her biological father’s
dog tags were incorporated into her bouquet at her wedding to Alex Minkin.
MIDDLE RIGHT: Sara Craig wears a pair of earrings her grandfather gave her grandmother on their
25th wedding anniversary. All women in her family have been married with the gold band on her finger.
BOTTOM: Sara Craig’s late father’s tallit and Kiddush cup were used in her wedding.

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January 25 • 2018

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my eternity band,” Sidder said.
She also wrapped her grand-
mother’s monogrammed
handkerchief around her bou-
quet and wore her mother’s
veil — made by the same
lace designer who created
the lace on the bodice of her
own dress. Though the veil
was somewhat discolored, it
matched the off-white lace on
her dress perfectly.
“We found out the lace on
both were handmade by the
same man. He had been mak-
ing lace for the company for
75 years. And using my grand-
mother’s handkerchief to
hold my bouquet — it makes
my mom cry every time she
thinks about it.”
Though the custom of bor-
rowing items is not a Jewish
tradition, one of the highest
mitzvot a community can do
is to lavish upon a bride and
groom on their wedding day
and provide for a feast and a
joyous day if the couple and
their family cannot provide
for themselves.
“In the Talmud, it is written
that even the most studious
scholars would leave their
study halls to go to a wedding
reception to increase the joy
of the bride and the groom,”
said Rabbi Levi Dubvov of
Bloomfield Hills. “It is also
customary for brides and
bridegrooms to make a dona-
tion to provide for other cou-
ples on their wedding day.”
When Dubvov and his wife,
Mushky, married almost three
years ago, they had the honor
of borrowing a siddur used
by the late Rebbe Menachem
Schneerson for their cer-
emony.
“It was a privilege to use
that siddur,” Dubov said. “The
wedding day marks a new
phase of your life, to reflect on
which values you are going to
use to build your new home,
so my wife and I were honored
to pray from a siddur used by
the Rebbe on our special day.”
Marla and Vince Sallan of
Berkley wished to use ele-
ments from their Jewish and
Chaldean cultures when they
wed a year ago. Though they
did not marry in a house of
worship, Marla wanted to be
married underneath a chup-
pah, according to her mother,

Amy Saidman Sternberg of
West Bloomfield.
The family created a chup-
pah from the tablecloths from
the bride’s great-great-great-
grandmother, monogrammed
handkerchiefs from all her
grandmothers, as well as lace
from Sternberg’s own wedding
dress.
“It meant a great deal to our
family to remember our loved
ones who had passed away
and were not able to be with
us on Marla’s wedding day,”
Sternberg said. “By using little
pieces of fabric from their
tablecloths, in some way it
was a little bit of them being
there, intertwined in that
beautiful chuppah.”
When Sara and Andrew
Craig of Beverly Hills wed last
March, the couple used her
late father’s tallit and draped
it over both their shoulders
as Rabbi Dan Syme of Temple
Beth El sang the Shevah
Brachot (Seven Blessings).
They also drank wine from
the same Kiddush cup he used
on Friday nights.
“From my childhood, I have
so many memories of my
dad singing Kiddush while
holding that cup,” Craig said.
“It was a weekly tradition to
have Shabbat dinner at home
growing up. When Andy pro-
posed to me, my father was
already ill and we knew he
would not physically be there
on our wedding day. But using
his cup [and tallit] was a nod
to my dad and his presence in
our life and on our wedding
day.”
To also preserve the memo-
ries of her loved ones on her
wedding day, Sharon Minkin
of Bloomfield Hills incor-
porated into her bouquet
her grandmother’s favorite
necklace and her biological
father’s dog tags that he wore
in Vietnam. She wore an heir-
loom watch from her other
grandmother.
Sharon and her husband,
Alex, were wed under a chup-
pah sewn with their grandfa-
thers’ tallitot and they blessed
and drank the wine from Alex’s
grandfather’s Kiddush cup.
“We tried to sprinkle in as
much as we could,” she says,
“so we felt like they were a
part of the celebration.” •