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recite (in Hebrew) what translates
to: “Behold, thou art consecrated to
me with this ring, according to the
laws of Moses and Israel.”
Those married by Temple Israel’s
Rabbi Josh Bennett are asked to
sign a ketubah and, in the case of an
interfaith couple, a conversion is not
required. However, he will only offi-
ciate for couples who agree to have
a Jewish home and Jewish children.
“The [ketubah] text can range
from a traditional Aramaic contract
to a modern creative text. Typically,
the couple is involved in making this
determination dependent on their
religious observance,” he says. “I
am open to creative language and
modern textual changes that better
fit the relationship of each couple.
Often this conversation leads to the
couple’s decision to share their own
vows.” Bennett estimates that 25
percent of the couples he has mar-
ried have penned their own vows.

ADVICE FROM THOSE
WHO’VE DONE IT

Looking back on her 2015 wedding,
Ariana Carps, 33, doesn’t recall
many of the details from her special
day. Most of it was a blur. But, one
of the memories that stands out is

hearing her husband, Dan, recite his
vows for the first time.
“I remember listening to Dan and
thinking how perfectly suited we are
for each other because our vows were
the same. We had the same jokes and
references without knowing what the
other person was going to say,” said
Carps, who was married by Rabbi
Bennett. Each year on their anniver-
sary, the Carps reread their vows.
Those who penned their vows
offer advice to couples wanting to
add a personal touch to their cer-
emonies:
• Consider whether you want
each person to have a similar tone.
For example, are you OK with one
person being emotional and senti-
mental and the other taking a more
jovial approach? Ask a mutual friend
or family member to read your vows
if this is an issue.
• When writing your vows, first
get your ideas on paper. Don’t worry
about how it sounds until you’re
done. Then go back and read it out
loud, advises Carps. “Make sure it’s
not too long and it doesn’t sound
like an essay,” she said.
• Once your vows are written, be
sure to practice. Not only will this
help ease any nervous tension, but
it will give you an idea of how it
sounds when read out loud. Carps
said she wasn’t nervous when it
came time to read her vows because
“at that moment, I could only see
him. It felt like it was just the two of
us.”
Reciting her vows didn’t make
Jenny Morgan nervous either.
Morgan, a co-director at the Jewish
Community Center day camp, said
having theater experience helped
with that. Aside from an acting
background, she was proud of what
she wrote and eager to share it with
their guests, which she said helped
ease any nervous feelings.
• Write from the heart to make
it meaningful. Think about how
you felt when you first saw your
fiancé(e), what you respect most
about your partner, how your life
has gotten better with the other
person, hardships you’ve endured
together and what makes your rela-
tionship work. •

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January 25 • 2018

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