bridal 2018 The reception at Belle Isle’s Flynn Pavilion. Shaarey Zedek’s Rabbi Aaron Starr (not shown) and two of Yoni's close friends from rabbinical school, Rabbi Alex Braver, left, and Rabbi Zach Sitkin, right, all had a hand in the ceremony. continued from page 54 CLOCKWISE: Dressed up in schtick. Ready for dinner. The bride and groom during the hora. Yoni’s wooden engagement ring. “After we got engaged,” Meredith says, “we thought it felt natural for Yoni to have a ring, too — it echoed the fact that we treat our relationship as a partnership rooted in equality.” A quiet moment. 56 January 25 • 2018 jn selves how we could make it respectful of our values while remaining true to the ikar, the essence, of the tradition or ritual.” The tisch, for example, is a commu- nal celebration that takes place before the actual ceremony. Traditionally, it is reserved for the chatan (groom) and the other men. “But we wanted ours to be for everyone,” Meredith says. “We sat side-by-side as our friends and family offered toasts, gave bits of Torah and sang traditional songs. Our friend led the tisch — and there wasn’t a dry eye around that table.” The couple also wanted to include the tradition of circling, when the kal- lah (bride) circles around the groom seven times, symbolizing completion, wholeness and the unity of the rela- tionship. Keeping with the couple’s egalitarian approach, they each circled each other three times, then made one additional circle together, hand in hand. “It was incredibly important to us, and it felt indescribably special to both of us,” Meredith says. “Our circles presented to our family and friends a small symbol of who we are, as two individuals who commit to the unity and the completion, as equally obligated and responsible in making a partnership of trust and consistent growth.” The Shevah Brachot, or Seven Blessings, at the end of the ceremony offered an opportunity for friends and family to be active participants in the couple’s wedding, Jewish or not. “Some friends read to us the tradi- tional blessings in Hebrew, and others presented interpretive English varia- tions of those blessings,” Yoni says. “It’s hard to describe the emotions of that moment. We got to stand a couple of feet away from the people we love as they blessed us with the words of our tradition or with words straight from their heart.” The couple found a way to extend the traditional aspects of a Jewish wedding in a larger way, too. “We invited family and close friends from around the world to join us for a Shabbaton leading up to our wedding day,” Meredith says. “Starting Friday night with kabbalat Shabbat and Shabbat dinner, we spent a weekend together praying, eating, singing, eat- ing, celebrating — and eating. “Incorporating the tradition this way made the celebration bigger than just us. It connected us to our roots. It allowed us to celebrate with fam- ily who are no longer with us and with generations upon generations of ancestors. Not every Jew in the world was getting married that weekend, but throughout the world, Jews were pray- ing, reading Torah and delighting in Shabbat,” Yoni says. “And in some way, it felt like we were celebrating with all of them. “Our rabbis of blessed memory knew what they were doing,” he says. “They recognized that ritual is about much more than just looking pretty. It’s about keeping us in the moment, forcing us to focus on the here and now and to just be. In its essence, the wedding ritual of Judaism is a type continued on page 58