DESIGNS IN DECORATOR WOOD & LAMINATES, LTD.

spirit

torah portion

The Dysfunctional Family

B

It Doesn't Have
To Cost A Fortune…
Only Look Like It!

Complete kitchen and bathroom
remodeling as well as furniture
design and installations including
granite, wood and other materials.

Lois Haron Allied Member ASID 248.851.6989

Unhappy with Your
Lawn Service?

Purchase Our Nature Safe Lawn Program! Prepay
Before December 31, 2017 and Receive A Lawn
Aeration Free ($150.00 Value). Call Now
for a Free Lawn Survey and Estimate ($69.00 Value).

(248) 585-2600

Family owned and operated since 1900

Over 100,000 satisfi ed customers since 1900

42

December 21 • 2017

jn

Parshat Vayigash:

ereshit is probably the bibli-
cal book most read and most
commented on by people
today. I would like to suggest that
one of the main reasons for this is its
emphasis on dysfunctional sibling
relationships, something most of us
continue to have personal experi-
ence with some 3,000 years later.
The story of Joseph and his evolv-
ing relationship with his
them his true identity. The
brothers is the most articu-
brothers are wary: What is
lated text on this topic in the
going to happen next? What
entire book.
is he going to do to us now?
Two weeks ago, in Parshat
As the story progresses,
Vayeshev, the seeds of ani-
we learn that the recon-
mosity and distrust were
ciliation is real. Joseph is
sown. Joseph, his father’s
reunited with his father. He
favorite son, not only told
helps his brothers to resettle
Rabbi Mitch
grandiose stories of his
in Goshen, which has ample
Parker
expected dominance within
food and water. Despite the
the family to his brothers,
limitations of distance and
but he eagerly tattled to his
the ongoing hurt of past
father about their various
misdeeds, the sons of Jacob
misdeeds. Jacob, in turn, encouraged are able come to terms with the past
Joseph to spy on his brothers’ activi-
and become a whole family — not
ties. The 10 brothers, as a result,
without problems — but a family
fulfilled every big brother or sister’s
again.
dream: They sold Joseph to a band
Perhaps the unifying theme of
of wandering traders.
Bereshit is not dysfunction and sib-
Last week, in Parshat Mikketz,
ling rivalry but the ability of family
members to reconcile even after
Joseph, who had been both a slave
years of strife. With the exception of
and a prisoner, experienced a
Cain, all the siblings of Genesis: Isaac
change of fortune. He was now the
and Ishmael, Jacob and Esau, Rachel
grand vizier of all of Egypt. Why did
and Leah, and Joseph and his broth-
this second most powerful man in
ers, eventually overcome the pain of
the entire Middle East not send a
letter home, telling his father he was the hurts of the past and learn to get
along. A message for all of us.
OK? Why did he not appoint envoys
In the next book, Shemot (Exodus),
to check on the welfare of his father?
the next generation seems to have
Instead, he disowned his family.
learned lessons from the experi-
Finally, after two decades, Joseph,
ences of their ancestors. We read
the ruler, “coincidentally” meets his
the story of three siblings: Moses,
brothers, the supplicants. He rec-
Aaron and Miriam, who function as
ognizes them, but they do not rec-
a cooperative and supportive unit
ognize him. What does Joseph do?
Does he greet his brothers with open (with some minor setbacks over 40
years) to accomplish what is ulti-
arms? Does he confront them and
mately best for their family and their
chastise them for old wounds? No.
people. •
He tests/punishes them for the mis-
deeds of the past, asks if his father is
Mitch Parker is the rabbi at B’nai Israel
still alive and cries in private.
Synagogue in West Bloomfield.
This week we learn that Joseph
finally relents (and cries) and tells

Genesis 44:18-47:27;

Ezekiel 37:15-37:28.