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Vinyl Memories

I

least “somewhat” hip at one point in
trust you had a great
my life. That status was downgraded
Thanksgiving. I’m still de-bloating
when I introduced my kids to my “Jose
from overindulging in stuffing
Jimenez Talks to Teenagers” album,
made with Dakota Bread challah that
the character made famous by
by the end of my third helping
comedian Bill Dana.
made me look like I was in my
Dana, born William
third trimester.
Szathmary and of Hungarian
In what I hope will become
Jewish descent, made a career
a new holiday tradition, we
out of the affable Hispanic
pulled out a record player and
gentleman he created and
spun my old albums that we
introduced on the Steve
found boxed up in the most
Allen Show in 1959. Eleven
inaccessible to reach, darkest,
years later, out of respect
spider-webbish corner of our Alan Muskovitz
to Mexican-Americans, he
storage room.
famously killed off Jose in a
It was a treat to see the look
mock funeral as a new era
on the “youngins’” faces as
of political correctness was
they listened in amazement
slowly coming to the fore of our social
to the sounds emanating from the
consciousness.
wax disks, especially when scratches
Speaking of politics — another of
repeated lyrics off my Sergeant
my comedy albums that awakened
Pepper’s Lonely, Sergeant Pepper’s
from its decades long hibernation —
Lonely, Sergeant Pepper’s Lonely
was a parody that first inspired me
(lift needle, gently place back down)
to do impressions. It was hysterical
Hearts Club Band album.
the day it was recorded on Oct. 22,
To say my collection is eclectic
1962, but a historical relic exactly 13
would be a vast understatement.
months to the day after it was pro-
Besides the Beatles, we flipped
duced. The album: The First Family
through the Supremes, Moody Blues,
Crosby, Stills and Nash, Streisand and featuring John F. Kennedy imperson-
ator Vaughn Meader.
Sinatra albums that co-mingled with
At the time, it was the fastest-sell-
Alvin and the Chipmunks, Captain
ing record in the history of the indus-
Kangaroo’s Songs and Dances, and
try; a million copies sold per week in
Detroit Tiger Denny McLain playing
its first six weeks. The album won the
his Hammond Organ.
Grammy Award for Album of the Year
Some of my early comedic influ-
in 1963 beating out Tony Bennett’s I
ences were represented. My George
Left My Heart in San Francisco. But
Carlin album showed that I was at

then our hearts were broken on Nov.
22 with the assassination of JFK.
As our country mourned, Meader’s
career went from riches to rags.
A fascinating footnote: Meader’s
The First Family was recorded before a
live studio audience who had no idea
that at the exact same time President
Kennedy was delivering his haunt-
ing Cuban Missile Crisis address to
the nation. It has often been said
that tragedy plus time is comedy. On
Oct. 22, 1962 the two nearly occurred
simultaneously.
OK, hold on. I can’t end my last
column of 2017 on such a dour note.
There’s got to be something uplifting
I can leave you with — something you
can look forward to in the coming
new year.
I’ve got it! There’s a new reality
show debuting this January on WE
TV! From the producers of 90 Day
Fiancé comes Love After Lockup, fea-
turing men and women who are in
love and were both in prison at one
time. Ain’t that beautiful?
On second thought, I think
I’d rather listen to my Alvin and
the Chipmunks album on a loop.
Did you hear that Alvin? Alvin?
Alllllllllviiiiiiiiin!
Happy, healthy New Year, everyone! •

Alan Muskovitz is a writer, voice-over/acting
talent, speaker, emcee and guest host on the
Mitch Album Show on WJR AM 760. Visit his
website at laughwithbigal.com and “Like” Al on
Facebook.

community view

Without Water, Th ere Is No Life

O

ne day in October, I woke up
to learn that much of Oakland
County, including a large part
of Bloomfield Township (where we
live), was under a boil water advisory
due to the bursting of a water main
the prior evening.
I went into my
kitchen to find the
largest pot we own
and filled it with
water. I realized I
couldn’t brush my
teeth until the pot
had boiled and
wondered whether
Lori Lutz
brushing my teeth
the night before
(before knowing

about the advisory) harmed me in any
way. As I emptied the hot coffee pot to
remake it with boiled water, I worried
about the cup of coffee my husband
had taken from the pot earlier that
morning. I wasn’t sure what to do
with the dishes in the dishwasher or
whether I could safely take a shower
or even wash my hands.
After texting my husband (already
at work) to make sure he knew about
all of this, he let me know that we
were actually outside the boundar-
ies of the affected area. The relief I
felt was palpable, as was the sense of
gratitude for having been spared! I
hopped into my car, arriving at work
significantly later than expected.
The irony of this story is that at the

time of the water main break, I was
attending an event hosted by Detroit
Jews for Justice and Temple Kol Ami
called, “The Public Health Impact of
the Regional Water Crisis.”
The intersectionality between the
more than 80,000 Detroit households
whose water has been shut off since
2014 and suburban residents of
Oakland County could not have been
more dramatically revealed. (Notice I
haven’t even mentioned the on-going
travesty in Flint, where so many citi-
zens have yet to feel anything near
the sense of relief I felt knowing that
neither our pipes nor our bodies had
been tainted by toxic water.)
Aging infrastructure has advanced
from a looming to a present problem.

Don't Make this
Mistake!

One thing leads to another and before
you know it, you have $40,000 of
credit card debt. You’re not happy
about it, but you say to yourself,
“I can handle it. The minimum
payments are only $1,000/month and
each month I’m paying $500 extra
so it will go away.” The problem is
that it does not go away! When you
pay the $1,500 every month, you
leave yourself cash short; so when
you need to purchase something, you
charge it! The result – the balances
don’t go down – if fact they continue
to creep up until you’ve tapped out
your available credit. If the cards
are at 18% interest, you’re paying
$7,200 per year in interest. Over 20
years = that’s $144,000 toward your
retirement that you’ve forever lost –
plus the interest you would have
earned on that money while you were
saving it. Don’t Make this Mistake.
You need to get rid of the credit card
debt – and the sooner you do it, the
sooner you begin saving the $1,500
per month – for every month going
forward. Call us, we’ll show you
how it’s done.

THAV GROSS has been solving
its clients’ business, tax and fi nancial
problems since 1982. Be sure to tune
in to the Law and Reality – Sunday
mornings at 11 AM on TV20.

thavgross.com  lawandreality.com

30150 Telegraph, Suite 444
Bingham Farms, MI 48025

continued on page 8

jn

December 7 • 2017

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