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Yiddish Limerick

Th e Best Interests Of Our Children

J

have determined that mothers keep
udaism is a family-focused,
custody of children until age 6; after
child-centric way of life, focused
that, boys go to the father and girls to
on making meaning and guiding
the thoughtful growth of our offspring. the mother, according to Child Custody
in Jewish Law: A Pure Law
So it doesn’t surprise me that
Analysis by Rabbi Michael J.
Jewish law considers the best
Broyde. The Talmud (Ketubot
interests of the children when
59b) assumes both parents
deciding which parent retains
want custody and are capable
custody in a divorce.
of handling it. The Talmud
Since 1970, Michigan law
also assigns all financial
has directed judges, family law
responsibility for children to
practitioners and divorcing
the father.
couples to determine parent-
Alisa Peskin-
But Jewish law, like our cur-
ing time arrangements based
Shepherd
rent civil system, is not set in
on the best interests of the
stone. Both allow specific cir-
children. However, pending
cumstances to override legal
legislation, House Bill 4691,
parameters.
proposes changing that to
When parents are unfit, unwilling,
mandate giving roughly equal parent-
too swamped with work or travel — or
ing time to both parents — regardless
when a parent has had no role in his or
of what is truly best for the children.
her child’s life — they should not have
As a family law attorney and a Jewish
joint custody or substantially equal
mother, I cannot support this pro-
parenting time. Perhaps they shouldn’t
posal.
have any custody.
The Torah mentions divorce in
Divorce is tricky. Emotions often
Deuteronomy 24:1, when a dissatisfied
lead couples to split and often over-
husband sends his wife away. Much
ride common sense when determining
Talmudic discussion about divorce
divorce details.
ensues.
Every couple experiences different
The biblical mandate for child
circumstances leading to the dissolu-
custody traces to a story of King
Solomon and two conflicting mothers. tion of a marriage, just as every child
Considering one infant and two moth- has different needs. There is no one-
ers, King Solomon suggests cutting the size-fits-all resolution for divorce. We
are dealing with people and must be
child in half to give each mother an
flexible enough to take situations into
equal portion. One mother agrees; the
account.
other, horrified, refuses, insisting she
That’s why this proposed shared
would rather the child go to the other
parenting legislation is so alarming.
woman than be harmed.
Why fix a system that isn’t broken?
King Solomon decides that self-
less act is evidence of the true parent While Michigan’s family courts are far
from perfect, the base line for parent-
and awards custody to her. (I Kings,
ing time has worked for more than
3:16-27)
four decades because it takes into
In modern times, rabbinical courts

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account the specificity of each case.
In fact, between 1990 and 2015,
according to the Michigan Department
of Health and Human Services, the
number of divorce cases resolving with
joint custody has increased from 13
percent to 44 percent. Based on my
experience in practice, this is due to
the increased involvement, ability and
willingness of both parents. As parents
get more involved in their children’s
lives, parenting time arrangements
reflect this — because current law
allows flexibility to change and evolve
with the times.
The new bill demands a certain
number of overnights for each parent
regardless of whether that is best for
the children. The focus shifts from
children’s needs to numbers, effectively
removing the human element from the
equation.
Currently, 12 factors are considered
when determining parenting time —
things like existing love and emotional
ties between parents and children,
parental capability to guide, provide
and love, the mental, physical and
moral health of parents, and more.
Current law considers where a child
lives, attends school, has a sense of
continuity.
These are important details that
cannot be ignored. If we are to act
in the best interests of our children,
we must truly look at what is best for
them — and set aside our own paren-
tal desires and fears. As Jews, it’s our
moral obligation. It’s our heritage. •

Alisa Peskin-Shepherd has been a practicing fam-
ily law attorney and mediator for more than 25
years. She is principal of Transitions Legal law
firm in Birmingham, www.transitionslegal.com.

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Undzer sukkah is zayer zayer Klayn
It’s so cozy also shayn.
Nor zeks can come and sit
can zitzn tzuzamen un eat.
But to build it, it’s a pain.

Undzer sukkah - our sukkah
zayer klayn - very small
shayn - beautiful
Nor zeks - only six
zitzn tzuzamen - sit together
Un – and

By Rachel Kapen

CORRECTIONS:

• The caption in the story “Midnight
Golf ” (page 26, Sept. 28) incorrectly
stated that Rashad Prendergast earned
an internship to the Weizmann Institute
“thanks to the nonprofit Midnight Golf.”
That was inaccurate. Prendergast was
eligible for the Weizmann program
because he won a science fair contest
— it was not due to any intervention
by Midnight Golf although Prendergast
does credit the program for providing
general suppor t. Also, he was not the
first African American to participate in
the Weizmann program, but the only
one this year.
• Elayne Gross Photography should
have been credited with photos from
“Scroll Roll” (page 16, Sept. 28).

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October 5 • 2017

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