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RONELLE GRIER
Rabbi Yarden Blumstein
of Friendship Circle of
Michigan teaches a
SafeTALK class.
Foundation To
Help Expand
Teen Mental
Health Program
Andrew Kukes
The Andrew Kukes Foundation for
Social Anxiety (AKFSA) and Friendship
Circle in West Bloomfield are part-
nering to expand Friendship Circle’s
UMatter program, focused on teen
mental health. AKFSA will co-sponsor
the program, providing a $250,000
grant in a five-year commitment.
The UMatter program strives to
help teens and young adults who find
themselves in isolation with a variety
of programming focused on the idea
that everyone truly matters. The
program is facilitated by the UMatter
Teen Leadership Board, a group of
teens from area high schools who
assist their peers by working to
reduce the stigma that surrounds
mental health to provide support and
friendship.
“When I began as director of our
Daniel B. Sobel Friendship House,
which focused on isolation and life
crises, my attention was drawn to the
great need for teens to have posi-
tive messages about mental health
issues. Out of those conversations,
UMatter emerged,” said Rabbi Yarden
Blumstein, director of Friendship
Circle’s teen division of the Morrie
and Sybil Fenkell Volunteer Club.
UMatter was launched in 2015
with one teen adviser and 15 teen
leaders. In 2016, UMatter trained
more than 300 individuals in suicide
prevention and hosted four success-
ful events.
In 2017 and 2018, public high
schools and private middle and high
schools are examining relation-
ships with UMatter. Walled Lake
Consolidated School District, among
the largest districts in Oakland
County, already has confirmed par-
ticipation at all three of the district’s
high schools for a UMatter Week.
West Bloomfield High School and
three other districts in the tri-county
area also are considering hosting
UMatter Weeks.
“With the support of the Andrew
Kukes Foundation, we are focused
on introducing 10 new high schools
to hosting UMatter Weeks to reach
more of our young people with the
message that they are not alone and
mental health deserves the same
attention and care as our physical
health,” said Rabbi Levi Shemtov,
executive director of Friendship
Circle.
“We started the Andrew Kukes
Foundation six years ago, not only in
tribute to our son Andy, but to help
families and friends understand they
need to be aware and involved in
the mental health of those they care
about, rather than just hoping things
will work themselves out,” said Jeff
Kukes, co-founder of AKFSA. “To
honor Andy’s memory, it is important
to us to support young people engag-
ing their peers because the younger
they receive support, the better the
outcome.”
Andy Kukes took his own life after
searching for years for the proper
diagnosis and treatment of his social
anxiety. Mental health profession-
als agree that the transitions from
middle school to high school and
high school to college are especially
difficult for teens coping with mental
health issues, and early intervention
is critical in helping them overcome
those challenges.
More about UMatter is available
at Friendshipcircle.org/umatter. To
participate or host a UMatter Week,
email Umatter@friendshipcircle.
org or contact Yarden Blumstein at
Yarden@friendshipcircle.org or call
(248) 788-7878 ext. 208. •
Tell. While most people provide cues, these
messages are usually indirect. Listeners have
to pay attention to the words they hear, the
actions they see and the feelings they sense.
Phrases such as “no one cares,” “it’s hopeless” or
“there’s nothing anyone can do” indicate despair
and a lack of hope that things can get better.
Changes in behavior such as a drop in grades, a
loss of interest in socializing, or increased drug
and alcohol use are also signs of depression. A
traumatic situation such as divorce or another
suicide can also be a trigger.
“We have to notice the tell even if it’s indirect,”
Blumstein said.
Ask. If you have recognized the signs, this is
the time to ask the question, “Are you thinking
of suicide?” You can repeat the things the per-
son has said to you, such as “When someone
talks about feeling hopeless or not wanting
help, this can mean they are thinking about sui-
cide. Are you?”
Be direct. Blumstein says that, in most cases,
a direct question will get an honest answer.
“People are afraid to cause damage. You will
not cause depression by asking,” he said. “If
you’re not sure, ask more questions.”
Listen. The research shows that most people
want to talk about not wanting to live. They
just need to know someone is listening. Once a
person admits to thinking about suicide, let him
know you want to continue the conversation.
“Let’s talk about this.” “This is important.” “I am
listening.” Depending on what is said, you may
want to ask if he has thought about suicide in
specific terms, whether he has a plan or a time
frame.
Keep Safe. The program stresses this is not
the time, nor are you the one, to solve the per-
son’s problems. The only job of the “alert helper”
is to connect the person as quickly as possible
to someone who can help. It could be a thera-
pist or Blumstein, who has handled dozens of
interventions since he began the training, or a
parent or other family member or a suicide pre-
vention hotline such as Common Ground.
FEELING EMPOWERED
Blumstein, who has trained staff members at
local Jewish summer camps and schools, has
been asked to intervene with kids as young
as 9. He says most people who participate in
SafeTALK are surprised to find they have an
opportunity to use the training within a rela-
tively short time.
“I now feel more comfortable asking the
uncomfortable questions,” said Jodi Backalar,
a Farmington Hills resident who attends
Washington University.
Blumstein said many local organizations are
looking into SafeTALK training for the coming
year.
“It’s helpful training; everyone should do it,”
said Catie Quinn, program manager and camp
director for Friendship Circle of Michigan. “It’s
good to feel empowered, especially in situations
that are so challenging.”
As for me, I have not had the chance to use
the tools I learned in SafeTALK, but if anyone
out there wants to talk, feel free to reach out.
I am listening. •
To learn about future training sessions, contact Rabbi
Yarden Blumstein at (248) 788-7878 or yarden@friendship-
circle.org.
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14
August 31 • 2017
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