jews d

in
the

dear debra

No Shoes
Allowed

S

end your
questions to
deardebra@
renmedia.us.

DEAR DEBRA,

My husband and
I recently bought
a new home and,
Debra Darvick
because we have
a young child, we
have decided to be
a “shoe-free” house-
hold. We do not want our child crawl-
ing around on carpet laden with street
dirt and germs. My parents visit often
and because they do not have the same
rule in their home, they walk in without
removing their shoes. We have told
them our reasoning and asked them to
cooperate. They said they would, but
rarely do. How do I get them to consis-
tently remove their shoes?
— Clean and Concerned

DEAR CLEAN AND CONCERNED,

I imagine this problem would never
arise in Japan where removing one’s
shoes before entering a home is the
cultural norm. It’s hard changing
such norms, as you are finding out.
Continue employing kindness and
consistency and hope for the best.
In addition, have a basket of cozy
knitted booties by the door and, if you
have room, a comfortable chair or
bench beside it. That way when your
parents come to visit you can repeat
the mantra, “Hi, Mom/Dad, great to see
you. Would you mind removing your
shoes? Because the kids are so floor-
oriented these days, we’re trying to limit
the street dirt we bring into the house.
Here are some slippers if you want to
keep your feet warm.”
Have a pair for each of them,
maybe something fun, definitely
cozy and comfortable, and assure
them that these are for them only.
They may not want to wear slippers
possibly worn by other guests. Most
important, be sure the footwear you
provide has skid-free soles. You don’t
want anyone to slip and fall. That’s
also where having a solid bench or
chair nearby will help.
Hopefully, your parents will accede
to your wishes and trade their street
shoes for the slippers. But they just
may not be comfortable doing this.
They may get offended that you
are implying they are bringing dirt
into your house, which technically

18

July 20 • 2017

jn

they are but it could still feel like
an affront. Also. there is an element
of feeling “undressed” when one
removes one’s shoes in public. That
cultural norm thing again, and your
in-laws may fall into that category.
If so, you will have to decide which
is more important — generation-to-
generation grandparent time with
your children or avoiding the occa-
sional street dirt. These precious
years when your kids are little and
forming bonds with your parents will
be gone to soccer games before you
know it. The long-term benefit of hav-
ing grandparents be a regular part of
your children’s lives will be of more
long-lasting value than avoiding any
possible ills picked up on your carpet.
Have a good door mat in your
entryway for them to wipe their
shoes. I googled “best door mat to
remove dirt” and found one from
West Elm — cute, inexpensive and
made of dirt-grabbing coconut fiber.
Continue to welcome your parents
with open arms, remind them of the
house rule and offer the slippers. If
they choose to stay shod, chalk it up
to a generational eccentricity and
know that, in the long run, your kids
will benefit from loving times with
their grandparents. Just have your
vacuum cleaner handy and switch it
on as soon as you say l’hitraot! (See
you next time!)

DEAR DEBRA,

My sister and brother-in-law have
invited me to share a two-bedroom
home up north for a week. We are all
retired. My sister said we’d share all
costs, but how exactly should we do
this when there are two of them and
one of me?
—Going Up North

DEAR UP NORTH,

When it comes to sharing the house,
it would be appropriate for you to
share the rental cost fifty-fifty. For
meals, you can ask your server for
separate checks when you order.
Or bring cash to pay for your meals
each evening. I assume you’ll each be
bringing food from home as well and/
or grocery shopping during the week
for making communal meals. You
treat for something along the way
(ice cream at Kilwin’s?) and let them
do the same. Just keep in mind you
are all there to have fun so give your
inner accountant a vacation, too. •

Camp Food

Tamakwa co-director
authors book on healthy
eating at camp.

ROBERT SARNER SPECIAL TO THE JEWISH NEWS

G

iven the culinary mission Margot cutting back on sugar, having a salad bar,
Perlmutter has chosen, one
offering healthier treats, encouraging
might mistake her for a glutton
good eating habits and using locally pro-
for punishment. Tampering with tradi-
duced food when possible.
tion and time-honored camp food offer-
“The book’s main goal is to help people
ings doesn’t always make for
realize camp food is important,” she
ABOVE:
happy campers.
says. “I hope it mentors, even in a
Margot
Indeed, they can be quite
small way, a new generation of camp-
Perlmutter and
vocal about it, especially when daughter, Molly, ers to be more aware of what they’re
it involves less sugar. Even
putting in their bodies, helps families
with healthy
some parents, albeit well-
camp snacks. make small changes and, hopefully,
meaning, question such an ini-
starts a movement where all camps
tiative, saying camp is where kids should
become more conscious of what they
eat whatever they want. So, many camp
serve and recognize that camp food mat-
directors take the path of least resistance
ters.”
when it comes to food.
So far, reaction to the book has been
Not Perlmutter.
very positive.
In recent years, as co-director of Camp
“What’s been especially satisfying is
Tamakwa in Ontario’s Algonquin Park
the enthusiastic response from people
(attracting Michiganders for decades),
with no connection to our camp,” says
she’s making the food healthier and more Perlmutter, 42, who’s spending her 22nd
nutritious, even at risk to her popularity.
summer at Tamakwa, where she’s also
Perlmutter just published Camp Food
made environmental changes. “Seeing
Matters, in which she makes a convincing how popular camps are in North America
case for re-thinking the usual camp eat-
and the current push to make school
ing experience. Since becoming a mother cafeterias healthier, I’m thrilled the book
in 2007, and again in 2010, she became
has resonated with other parents seeking
more attentive to the impact of eating
change.”
on health. As her children approached
Born in Montreal, Perlmutter first
camper age, she began re-examining
attended Tamakwa in 1986, spending
what Tamakwa was serving three times a
10 summers there as a camper and staff
day, seven days a week, all summer long.
member. After working in advertising, she
“Of course, I want children to enjoy
returned to camp in 2006 as a co-owner/
their time at camp and go home loving
director. When not at camp, she and
our food,” says Perlmutter, whose hus-
Craig live in Toronto with Nate, a third-
band, Craig, is a Tamakwa co-director.
year camper, and Molly, almost a camper.
“But I don’t feel it’s necessary to load
Tamakwa was founded in 1936 by
that food with artificial ingredients or
Detroit naturalist Lou Handler and
excessive amounts of sugar known to be
Canadian outdoorsman Omer Stringer.
unhealthy.”
It has always attracted a large con-
Chapters in the 80-page book offer
tingent of campers and staff from
practical tips Perlmutter uses at
Michigan’s Jewish community. •
Tamakwa and at home. Beautiful color
Find Camp Food Matters at campfoodmatters.
photos capture the blissful world of sum-
com or amazon.com. Robert Sarner is editor of the
mer camp.
South Tea Echo, Tamakwa’s annual newspaper
She cites the benefits of decreasing
since 2002.
fried food, being mindful of ingredients,