BARBARA LEWIS
jews d
in
the
‘Never Long
Enough’
Krakoff, Sider
collaborate on
book that can
bring comfort to
mourners.
BARBARA LEWIS
CONTRIBUTING WRITER
ABOVE: Artist Michelle Sider,
left, illustrated the book written
by Rabbi Joseph Krakoff, right,
senior director of Jewish Hospice
and Chaplaincy Network.
I
t was one of the first things Rabbi Joseph
Krakoff learned in his pastoral care work
at the Jewish Theological Seminary:
When a loved one dies, those left behind
always wish they’d had more time.
While he was still a seminary student in
the late 1990s, he wrote a poem, “Never Long
Enough,” that expresses those feelings.
Where have the years gone? It seems like
only last month we were laughing, sharing and
guarding each other’s precious thoughts.
He would sometimes read the poem at
funerals (without noting that he wrote it),
and mourners told him they liked it.
About three years ago, Krakoff asked
Huntington Woods resident Michelle Sider to
look at his poems.
“I liked several of them, but this one really
inspired me,” Sider said. “I felt it could be a
book.”
Thus, began a collaboration that resulted
in the publication of Never Long Enough, a
richly illustrated version of Krakoff ’s poem.
Krakoff, senior director of Jewish Hospice
and Chaplaincy Network, and Sider, an art-
ist and psychotherapist, met about 12 years
ago on a Jewish Federation-sponsored trip
to Israel. A few years later, Krakoff ’s daugh-
ter, Atara, was in Sider’s art class at Frankel
Jewish Academy in West Bloomfield.
Sider said her aim in illustrating the book
was to give readers a visceral impression of
the words. “They can experience the grief,
but also the joy from the memories they
have,” she said.
Sider created about 50 drawings and paint-
ings, then she and Krakoff decided which 31
to use. All the pictures are full-page — some
take up two pages — and illustrate a short
phrase or even a single word.
If only we could share one last word, one last
touch, one more hug … one final kiss.
The illustrations progress from black-and-
white into partly colored and then brightly
colored pictures to parallel the progression
through the mourning process.
Many of the illustrations are personal,
Sider said. One was created after her oldest
son left to join the Israel Defense Forces. The
cover is a view from the pier in Petoskey.
Another is from a photo Sider took in Alaska.
Sider’s mother gave an early version to a
friend, who called Sider and said, “I’m read-
ing your book and crying. But they are tears
of joy and beauty.”
“She said, ‘Your book has settled me and
now I feel I can go on. You’ve given me my
future,’” Sider said.
“For many years, I’ve been working with
families to guide them through honest con-
versations about the legacy and the values
that remain even as someone we love dies,”
Krakoff said. “This text has already com-
forted so many families through this difficult,
emotionally charged time.”
Although originally intended for mourners,
Krakoff and Sider realized the book could
also help with “life review,” an important
component of hospice care. People nearing
the end of life can use the book to help them
think about what in their life has had the
most meaning.
In the published version, there is a presen-
tation page in the front for a written dedica-
tion to a friend or loved one, and four blank
pages at the end for memories and reflec-
tions. “It invites people to have conversa-
tions together,” Sider said.
There are never enough years. Yet I will
forever be thankful we had each other. Those
beautiful and cherished memories will be writ-
ten on my heart forever.
The book is intentionally not religious
so that it can be relevant to readers of all
faiths — or none, Krakoff said. Promotional
materials include laudatory blurbs from
Rabbi David Wolpe of Sinai Temple in Los
Angeles, Archibishop Allen Vigneron of the
Archdiocese of Detroit and the Rev. Kenneth
Flowers from Greater New Mt. Moriah
Baptist Church in Detroit. Rabbi Jeffrey Falick
of the Humanistic Birmingham Temple told
Sider and Krakoff he thought the book was
perfect for Humanistic congregations and
other atheists.
Sider and Krakoff chose a Michigan com-
pany, Front Edge Publishing, to publish their
book. Individual copies are available in soft-
cover for $19.95 and as a premium hardback
for $29.95 through Amazon and Barnes &
Noble. Discount bulk copies can be pur-
chased through the publisher (info@front-
edgepublishing.com) and can be customized
for congregations, funeral homes, hospitals,
hospices and similar organizations.
Krakoff and Sider are thinking about pro-
ducing a line of greeting cards using some of
the text and pictures from the book. They’re
already working on an art therapy version
of the book, in which all the pictures will be
pages readers can color themselves. •
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June 8 • 2017
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