soul

of blessed memory

War Widows

D

uring the next month,
Israel will mark a flurry
of observances ranging
from the solemn Yom HaZikaron
(Memorial Day) to the fes-
tive Yom Ha’Atzmaut (Israel
Independence Day) and 50th
anniversary of the Six-Day War/
Reunification of Jerusalem.
For the widows of Israel’s fallen
soldiers, who paid the ultimate
price so Jews all over the world
could revel in the modern-day
rebirth of the Jewish state, these
anniversaries stir a torrent of
varying emotions.
At 94, Devorah Arkin Roth is
among the country’s oldest liv-
ing war widows. Her husband,

69th Israel
Independence
Day celebrations
tempered
by solemn
remembrances.

KEN STEPHENS
SPECIAL TO THE JEWISH NEWS

Mordechai Arkin, was killed
while defending Hadassah
Hospital in Jerusalem just weeks
before the outbreak of the War of
Independence in May 1948.
She clings to the fond memo-
ries of her husband. “He was a
very talented man who wanted
to go to Columbia University
in New York to study physics,”
Devorah said. “But the deterio-
rating security situation in the
country wouldn’t permit him to
leave. He worked at Hadassah
Hospital and was doubling as a
guard when he was killed. When
he died, I was pregnant with our
second child.”
Though Devorah remarried

TOP LEFT: Regular retreats allow the
widows to support one another.
TOP RIGHT: Devorah Arkin.
RIGHT: Sara Omer and children.

and is now a mother, grand-
mother and great-grandmother,
she still gets the jitters each time
one of her grandchildren goes
into the army. “It’s difficult to
see your grandchildren being
drafted into the IDF after what I
had to endure and even more so
because one of my grandchildren
was injured as well in battle.”
Flash forward 19 years … The
Six-Day War was as an astound-
ing military accomplishment,
as the IDF smashed the massive
armed forces of Egypt, Syria and
Jordan. But, 776 IDF soldiers
lost their lives while liberating
Jerusalem, the Golan Heights,
and Judea and Samaria.
Private Yossi Mori was killed
on the first day of the Six-Day
Way after his unit was shelled in
a minefield. His widow, Dania,
said, “We had a great group of
friends and, to this day, we meet
every Memorial Day at his grave.
“During these years, you keep
going … You don’t just sit all day
thinking about your loss because
then your life would stop.”
1st Lt. Yehuda Ram died while
liberating the Golan Heights on
the last day of the war. “Yehuda
died when he was 23; and we had
only been married for a year,” his
widow, Shoshana, said. “I actual-
ly came back from the war filled
with guilt. Why did I survive and
he didn’t? Those feelings disap-
peared with the years because
you can’t keep living like that.”
Even in between wars, when
IDF soldiers constantly train to
be ready for the next crisis, inher-
ent dangers exact a toll.
Like a thunderbolt out of the
blue, Sara Omer’s world was
nearly destroyed in 2008 when
her husband, Reuven, was killed
during a training exercise as part
of his IDF reserve duty. Sara had
to face life alone with her three
young boys, all under age 6.
Sara refused to let her world
come apart at the seams. “When
Yom HaZikaron comes around

every year, it is a difficult day …
My children, who are now teen-
agers, attend a special ceremony
at the Knesset, which is both
uplifting and inspiring,” she said.
Soldiers have paid the ultimate
price for Israel, but those they
left behind suffer greatly, too. The
widows of the IDF never stand
alone. They band together to give
each other mutual support.
The IDFWO (IDF Widows and
Orphans Organization) creates
a support network to help them
through difficult times. The
organization provides services
ranging from a communal b’nai
mitzvah service at the Kotel to
professional training for widows.
The organization excels at
bringing together people with
common experiences for mutual
support.
“Once a war widow, always a
war widow, even if you remarry
and love your second husband.
The IDFWO gatherings and
activities are very important for
a very specific reason,” one of the
widows explained. “We might
not always agree with each
other’s opinions about different
things, but we all speak the same
language and understand each
other, as widows.
“Because we have all experi-
enced the same loss and trauma,"
she added, “ we can speak to
each other in our language and
help each other when we need
to, especially on Yom HaZikaron,
when we all could use a hug and
a smile.”
Even as the official mourning
of Yom HaZikaron ends and the
rest of the country moves to the
happiness of Yom Ha’Atmaut,
these women will find comfort in
each other to face their common
struggles. •

To learn more about the IDFWO and
show your support for the IDF fallen,
see www.idfwo.org/eng.

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April 27 • 2017

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