views Ask Attorney Ken Gross about... Your Your Legal Financial Issues Issues jewfro Meet Joshua ... Ben & Joshua BEN FALIK CONTRIBUTING WRITER G reetings from Corporate America! Things are going great so far and I haven’t even gotten my Chrysler Pacifica Hybrid Minivan with its 33-mile all-electric driving range, 566 miles of total range and 84 miles per gallon equivalent (MPGe) in electric-only mode. Beyond a fine fleet of varied vehicles that my son Judah and I were extra- excited to see at the Detroit auto show, I’ve already gotten to catch up with colleagues volunteering at Detroit Rescue Mission Ministries, Junior Achievement, the Michigan Science Center, the Eastside Community Network, United Way of Southeast Michigan and the American Red Cross. I am proud to call myself one of their fellow Motor Citizens. And I’d be lying if I said I didn’t miss you and your mishegoss. A few half- baked, would-be column ideas: • I survived Disney World without punching or being punched by any of the characters. It’s been 30 years since my last visit, but I still spin the tea- cups too fast and get nauseous. • As anticipated, I’ve been wearing more shirts with buttons, though the only new addition to my wardrobe was an all-purpose navy blazer from the Shirt Box. A theory from the busy corridors of business casual: colorful, patterned and novelty socks are the new necktie. • Referring to the totality of the tumult of Detroit in the summer of 1967 as a riot — especially with 50 years of hindsight — is tantamount to saying the Garden of Eden is a story about apple picking. With Detroit Jews for Justice and the Detroit Historical Society, I look forward to looking back through a critical and compas- sionate lens on events whose truth and reconciliation now can impact equity over the next 50 years. Which brings me to Joshua Lewis Berg. Joshua is the best. Total pack- age: generous, incisive, beard. I’ve only known Joshua for a short while, but I feel like we go way, way back. That’s probably because he is a proud product of our community — recently returned, family in tow, to Jewish Detroit. If Joshua self identifies as a wandering Jew, he’s a warm, welcome example that not all who wander are lost. I know some of Joshua’s stories, but if there’s one thing this work has taught me, it’s the wisdom to let people tell their own stories. So I’m honored to submit my 75th column on the cusp of the Detroit Jewish News’ 75th year, to pass my pen to Joshua and to continue to contribute however I can to our unfolding story. Stay in touch. • the wandering jew ... Nice To Meet You! T troupe in Moscow, Russia, went on here’s an old Jewish saying, to become an actor in New York and “Absence makes the heart grow fonder … and your Jewish mother then get an M.B.A. in media manage- ment, which I used to make no money works harder to bring you home.” Well, producing theater in New York and she finally succeeded and I’m back. London. Now I begin the work of dis- The last decade and the pelling the “fake news” built responsibilities of fatherhood up from 25 years of nachas brought me back to the real shepping by my mother in my world and, fortuitously, back absence. I fully expect to be rec- into the Jewish world as well. ognized on every street corner. Most recently, I worked “Hey, aren’t you the son who in L.A. for many years as an speaks three languages, acted administrator at a very large on Broadway, traveled the world Reform temple and then and read the entire Torah por- Joshua Lewis became the programming tion at his bar mitzvah?” Berg director for the Savannah Granted, most of that is not (Ga.) Jewish Educational entirely true, and that last bit just doesn’t dazzle the way it did when I Alliance. Don’t worry, I’ve only touched was 13 but, believe you me, even though the surface of my nutty life and still have many crazy stories to share. I am 46, she still trots it out any chance This column is called The Wandering she gets. And I love her for it, and I love Jew because, after having wandered being back in the D! from my hometown of Detroit and from Here are the facts. Like many Jewish my Jewish roots for so long, I recently boys of my generation, I was raised returned home to both. somewhere between Conservative and All I know of Detroit in the moment Reform, what I like to call “Conform” is the horrible reputation it has in L.A. Judaism. I went to Hebrew school, was for giving the country Betsy DeVos and bar mitzvah, eventually married an Rick Snyder and the great reputation it African American New Yorker who was has in Savannah for giving the country raised Baptist, had two daughters and Betsy DeVos and Rick Snyder. became a Humanist. OK, so I strayed However, after only a few weeks from the formula somewhat. back, I have discovered amazing things In between all that, I studied and I never knew existed, like John K. King worked in Japan, followed that up with books, the Woodward Dream Cruise a two-year stint in an improvisational and Jewish Detroit’s commitment to tik- kun olam. I’m pretty impressed so far. Of course, it doesn’t hurt that we are having the mildest winter in years to ease me back into living somewhere with an actual change of seasons. I will use this column to get re- acquainted with Jewish Detroit and, in so doing, shine a spotlight on all aspects of the community. I have deep mishpachah roots here and was warned to be careful not to write anything that would shock or embarrass them. I don’t plan to follow that advice. Of course, I want to highlight the bounty of amazing things that make me proud to be a Jewish Detroiter, but I won’t shy away from the tough ques- tions and the controversial topics. I wel- come you all to hold on tight and enjoy the ride along with me. We only just met, but Ben Falik has welcomed me like a brother (minus the nuggie). He is a generous person whom I am lucky to know. Although I can match his Jewfro curl for curl any day, it is with great humility that I accept the honor of following in the footsteps of this smart and witty mentsh’s mentsh. So, let’s get started … Who is up for a Coney dog with some gribenes and chicken shmaltz on the side? • Don’t Make this Mistake :H·UHDSSURDFKLQJWKH$SULOWKWD[ÀOLQJ deadline. No matter what your situation – EH VXUH WR ÀOH \RXU UHWXUQ RQ WLPH RU ÀOH an extension. Far too often, we see clients who were short on the necessary cash to SD\WKHLUWD[HVDQGDVDUHVXOWGLGQRWÀOH their return or an extension. This happens because of anxiety and the misplaced WKRXJKWWKDW´LI,GRQ·WÀOHWKH\ZRQ WÀQG me and won’t bill me.” This is a MAJOR PLVWDNH 7KH IDLOXUH WR ÀOH \RXU UHWXUQ penalty is 25% - and it accumulates at 5% per month – so before you say, “Winter” – you have increased your taxes by 25%. By contrast, the late payment penalty, is ½ % per month - continuing for a maximum of 50 months – that’s over 4 years – and totals to far less than what you pay in interest on your credit cards! Here’s the takeaway. Non-payment of IRS taxes is not a major problem. We can arrange payment terms so there is simply no reason to increase your WD[HV IRU IDLOLQJ WR ÀOH ² WKDW LV D ZDVWH of your money! Also – when you don’t ÀOH WKH ,56 ZLOO HQG XS ÀOLQJ IRU \RX ² and that is called a “SFR” (Substitute for Return). SFR’s are bad because you don’t receive all of your deductions and worse yet, while income taxes are dischargeable in bankruptcy – they are not dischargeable LIDQ6)5LVÀOHGIRU\RX%RWWRPOLQH²ÀOH or extend by April 18th. THAV GROSS has been solving problems since 1982. Be sure to tune in to Law and Reality – Sunday mornings at 11 AM on TV20. thavgross.com ‡ lawandreality.com Joshua Lewis Berg, The Wandering Jew, is a myth- ical figure whose legend consists of wandering the world in search of the perfect bottle of kosher pop and other revelatory phenomena. 30150 Telegraph, Suite 444 Bingham Farms, MI 48025 000209210 jn March 9 • 2017 5